The Key to Defeating Fear
It’s easy to slip into doubt and fear. Doubt and fear are normal, human emotions. Everyone, from plebeians to queen, has experienced it. A Queen, however, knows just how much weight Fear can toss and for how long, before she kicks that b*tch right back to where she belongs...in the minds of the mediocre.
Fear will sit on your throne and rule your life if you let her, as she warps and rots your dream from the inside out, like an insipid virus.
Her spies creep in through the catacombs of doubt, where the buried voices of those long gone echo.
Her armies surround your gates, waiting, daring you to expand, to reach higher, to climb rather, to grow bigger, to go beyond where you are now.
For at that moment you do, she is right there to push back.
TIME IS HER WEAKNESS.
For it is through time that she gains her strength.
EVERY PASSING DAY YOU DELAY, IS LIKE OXYGEN TO FEAR’S FIRE.
Every moment you allow another ghost of the...
Conduct yourself with candor, Queen. 👑
“You gotta want kids if you want to be with me.”
He was 19 years older than me. In his first marriage, they had agreed not to have children. I was falling in love with him. I also knew I wanted kids. And I knew he would make a fantastic father. I wasn’t about to compromise on what I wanted. But, I was willing to walk away if I couldn’t have it all. So, I figured I’d come right out with it. Why beat around the bush, right?
Yet, so often in our communication, we speak implicitly.
We hint.
We imply.
We drop clues.
But, come right out and say what you want and that you want it…
To be totally and brutally honest, well that’s just brutal, right?
Or is it or is it brutal to pretend you want something you don’t want, dance around the topic for years and then get your heart smashed because it didn’t happen. To me, the latter seems far more brutal with time, effort, and energy lost.
It’s...
Think your customers can’t pay when in crisis?
“It feels wrong to charge money for my work right now,” my client said to me, trying to convince me of her position.
If you ever want to see my enneagram-8 coach-mode come out, say something like this in a session with me, and I’m more than happy to go there. (It’s why my clients pay me.)
“Let me ask you this, in a couple of weeks, do you think this situation will get better or worse?”
She paused for a moment, “Worse.”
“SO WHAT WILL BE YOUR EXCUSE THEN ABOUT WHY YOU’RE NOT CHARGING FOR YOUR SERVICES?”
I guarantee you, Walmart, Amazon, CVS, and every other big business out there is still charging for their products and services. In fact, the world’s top billionaires have grown their net worth by billions…why? They kept selling. They’re not judging their customers who are buying toilet paper and food when their customer throws in an “unnecessary” mascara or a face mask or a gossip...
Be a Good Parent
I’ll never forget holding that bouquet of pregnancy tests in my hand. I’d peed four times to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. It couldn’t be, right? This was supposed to be hard for me? No. Nope. I was pregnant. Oh. My. God. I was paralyzed with fear and I’d like to say excitement, but really it was mostly fear. I walked out of our bathroom with the awful medical green tile into our yellow padded voice over studio. It felt appropriate to deliver the news in a padded room.
Spike was on the phone with one of his investors. As I stand there without saying anything, my handshaking with the sticks, immobilized. “Holy shit,” I thought to myself, “This is happening.” Spike noticed me in the doorframe and mouthed “You’re pregnant?” I could barely manage a nod.
I’ll never forget the smile that grew across that man’s face. I had to borrow that confidence because I was freaking terrified.
I’d put...
THIS doesn’t look like Marie Forleo at all.
I was on a consult call the other week with a self-employed solopreneur who was eager to grow her business and her online presence.
“But,” she said, “I don’t have a team. I don’t have good lighting for videos. I barely even have a good enough phone.” She continued to list the things she didn’t have, ”I don’t have a big following. I barely have a list. I don’t have...I don’t have…”
I had to stop her, “You do have an awful lot of excuses, though.”
That stopped her right in her tracks.
“But no one will take me seriously if I don’t look professional,” she countered, to which, I shared this…
“Actually, people will only take you seriously when you are SERIOUSLY committed to what you do.”
Here’s the thing…
YOU ARE EITHER COMMITTED TO YOUR MISSION OR YOU’RE COMMITTED TO YOUR EXCUSES.
And, look, I stumbled and fumbled so many...
Why High Achievers Struggle to Meditate
“I can barely sit still for 5 minutes.” I used to pride myself on always doing. DOING. DOING. DOING. Where my high achievers at, yo!
Sitting still was NOT my jam.
Give me music blasting in my ears and 30-minutes at a steady clip of 6.0 miles per hour and I was golden. Moving meditations I could do. Running, pilates, pole dancing, anything that allowed my body to just release and express and let go.
But...
Being alone and quiet in my head used to be a dangerous place for me to rest in because I wasn’t at rest.
I wasn’t at peace with myself. I warred with the light and the darkness.
I judged the negative comments and criticism with more judgments and criticism. “I shouldn’t be feeling [INSERT WHATEVER NEGATIVE EMOTION OR CRAPPY THOUGHT].” And down I would spiral.
When I was 17, struggling through bulimia, major depression, perfectionism, and past trauma. I was a classic type-A, high achiever, never...
Perfect doesn’t sell. THIS Does.
Remember, back in 2013, when Jennifer Lawrence was just getting on the scene, eating burritos, breaking all the rules, and the equally talented, but seemingly perfect Anne Hathaway, was scrutinized for her perfection. In fact, at one time if you googled Anne Hathaway and “annoying” you’d get 1.5 million search results.
Crazy. So what gives? They both are equally talented. They both won Academy Awards.
What’s the big dif?
Anne Hathaway came across as perfect. Jennifer Lawrence came across as human.
THERE’S A STRANGE PSYCHOLOGICAL DICHOTOMY WHERE THE MORE PERFECT YOU APPEAR THE LESS RELATABLE YOU ARE.
THE MORE HUMAN - MEANING YOU OWN YOUR FLAWS - THE MORE RELATABLE YOU ARE, THE MORE PEOPLE SEE YOU AS PERFECT.
One is your perception of perfection. The other is the audiences’ perception of perfection.
It’s no secret, that high achievers tend to be perfectionists.
We think that we have to have all our...
The Business Game with COVID-19
The landscape of business may have shifted. But the game is still the same. If you have a business that is even remotely online, you’re in the game, babe.
What’s that game you ask? Solving problems.
BUSINESS SOLVES PROBLEMS.
Every product, every service, everything that has ever been created was to solve a problem.
If you as an entrepreneur are seeing this COVID-19, quarantine, stay at home pandemic as a problem, you’re not looking through the wrong end of the telescope.
This isn’t about the disease.
THIS IS ABOUT THE SOLUTIONS FOR THE PEOPLE OF THIS PLANET TO STILL REMAIN CONNECTED TO BEAUTY, GROWTH, LIFE, BUSINESS, AND TO CREATE A NEW NORMAL THROUGH THIS TIME.
The solutions for people stuck in isolation.
The solutions for people starving for peace in a time rampant with fear.
The solutions for people craving for connection, yet completely unable to receive it.
The solutions for a married couple wanting to have a zesty fun marriage - but they’re...
The Energy of Cost vs. The Energy of an Investment
Everything is a form of energy. Food is. Relationships are. Business is. Money is.
You receive energy. You generate energy - meaning you have it circling about you in some way. And you spend energy.
IT’S ALL ENERGY.
Ever spend your time with someone who, after an hour or so, you felt completely drained, zapped of life, like you just needed to take a nap. You received their energy and spent your own energy...and not in the best way, or in the best life-giving relationship.
The same is true for our relationship with money.
HOW we spend money is just as important as WHAT we spend it on and WHY we are spending it.
And it comes down to one simple principle of money...
COST vs. INVESTMENT
When something is a “cost,” it means something is taken away, sacrificed. It’s an either/or energy. Something comes at the EXPENSE of something else. “Cost” is rooted in scarcity.
And all scarcity comes from fear.
When something is an...
What No One Tells You About the Law of Attraction
Like attracts like. The Secret. You can manifest money as you desire. Choose to attract what you want in your life - more money, more health, more business, more amazing relationships.
All totally true. All 100% possible.
But what happens when your actions and behavior, consciously or unconsciously, is out of fear or scarcity?
See, that’s the part of the Law of Attraction that’s not so sexy.
Like attracts like after all.
SCARCITY BREEDS MORE SCARCITY.
If you’re operating right now from a place of scarcity and fear - hunkering down, budgeting, getting “needy” for clients - you will absolutely 100% attract prospects and clients who are doing the same.
This is how the world spins into a worldwide recession.
Everyone gets scarce. People stop spending.
Money is a flow of energy and it responds to what you’re putting out into the world.
Your feelings are energy.
And how you feel when you sell and when you...