Ever have that one thing that keeps recurring in your life every time you feel like you’re leveling up?
For me, it’s around rejection. I have had to do a lot of healing around people leaving.
I’d reject parts of me - the silly, the weird, the dramatic, the ultra-girly, the ballerina - or parts that I thought would allow me to fit in, only to be rejected.
I thought I was the weird kid growing up - that it was something I did.
But really, I was just mirroring my own rejection of myself in others.
Rejecting the shame of trying to fit in, when really, I’ve always known I was different.
Rejecting the guilt for not trusting that I was enough.
People are our mirrors.
When you try to hide from people, burying yourself in...
I know pretty much nothing about art. Other than a half a semester of art history in high school, where basically my only takeaway was understanding the difference between Baroque and Rococo because of that joke Cogsworth makes in Beauty and the Beast, I am pretty much lost in the art world.
I love impressionists - yeah, all the stuff you don’t need contacts for and requires a hint of imagination and feeling, that’s my jam.
There’s a vibe you get when you stand a foot away from one, where you feel the passion in the brushstrokes. You can sense the feeling in the globs of color, and swipes of the brush.
Back in the Impressionist Era, there were a lot of people doing blurry paintings with pretty colors.
It got me wondering…
How many impressionists thought their market was oversaturated?
How many painters didn’t believe in their art because someone else...
“Why did you want to become an entrepreneur?” I asked.
“Freedom,” my client said to me.
I’ve been working with high-achieving entrepreneurs and creators for four years now, and there is one reason, bar none, why someone is crazy enough to venture into the world of entrepreneurship, to create a business and life on their terms.
Freedom to travel the world.
Freedom to have a business that supports that.
Then why is it that so many entrepreneurs box themselves into the very cages they looked to escape from?
They brag about barely sleeping.
They wear busyness like it’s a badge of honor.
Is that freedom?
To work away 10 hours a day behind your computer, suffering at doing all the things, and yet barely making...
I was watching a documentary on Freud as I had my lunch. It was a day when Decky was in Pre-K and Spike was at the gym, so I could watch what others would call in my house “boring docuseries” or things that aren’t really appropriate for a three-year-old.
Freud’s influence on modern culture is undeniable - from how we think about sex to how we think about ourselves.
And while I’m more of a Jungian gal myself, when you think of psychoanalysis, it’s Freud who culturally first comes to mind.
But, on the show, it was hypothesized Freud’s work was in part the catalyst to spark our current culture of narcissism filled with selfies, look-at-me-posting, and pictures of lunches.
As someone who uses selfies in much of my work and my business, and who shares regularly, openly about my life...
It got me thinking...
What makes a personal brand (aka a business) different than a narcissist?
And suddenly, it became very clear.
I used to hide from the parts of myself I hated - the hypocrite, the negative, the jealous bitch, the victim, the whiny brat.
Typically, I’m a pretty positive person.
And usually, there is a thought - just one on repeat that’s like “It’s a small world,” where now you can’t get it out of your head, can you?
And it’s there. And it sucks.
Trying to “think positive” your way out of it.
Yeah, that doesn’t work.
Having coached high-achieving personal development junkies for the past four years, I’ve seen this fear. It’s practically a version of having any feelings that don’t match the “high positive vibes” we typically live in day to today.
Because what happens when...
I took a french fry from Declan’s plate. He looked at me with a combination of determination and fear, “No mama. That’s my fry.”
I smiled. He’s been going through this “my” phase. He thinks me sharing with him is him sharing with me.
Is three the age that the ego comes into play?
I looked at him and smiled, waving the fry in the air, “We can always get more,” I said as I bit into the crispy warm exterior and felt the soothing steam of potato.
Maybe that french fry was magical?
Maybe it was in my delivery?
But something clicked.
Decky smiled, “We can always get more,” he said, practically throwing the line away, claiming it as his own.
Now anytime he shares with me, or I share with him, he says…
It got me thinking -
Is a scarcity mindset born or bred?
Scientists studied three generations of mice. In the first generation, the mouse...
Are you completely shoe-obsessed like me? The moment I go into a shoe store, especially a fancy-schmancy one, gives me a rush, kind of like, I’ve arrived. A new pair of well-made, usually designer shoes, feel like a possibility.
Dolce, Manolo, Choo, Ferragamo - they call me. Give me sweet Italian leather every day of the week (sorry, vegans), wrapping around my feet, binding me to possible
Your shoes are a part of that.
I used to judge guys I was interested in, by the shoes they wore. I would like to say that I’m not proud of that - but actually, I’m not.
Were they falling apart? Did they have holes in them? We’re the laces frayed? Did they look polished and well-kept, or thrown around carelessly?
You can learn a lot about a person by looking at their feet.
I’m going to level with you here…
Ownership sometimes sucks.
It’s no fun to be wrong.
To make a mistake.
To fight fires...that YOU created.
And I do it...daily.
You've gotta OWN IT.
Growth requires challenge, stress, and pushing past your perception of what is possible.
Sometimes that means that you won’t know what it means to go too far or to do too much until you’ve done it.
Because you’re heading into the unknown and that means you won’t know something until you know it, you know?
Just like with the body, sometimes you don’t know how sore you’re going to be in the middle of working out...but tomorrow or the next day, boy! Do you know.
You feel the soreness from having pushed beyond your edge.
Maybe that means you hold off on going back to the gym for a couple of days because your hamstrings are just shredded.
Or maybe it just means you do a really light gentle stretch workout...
If you listen to the news or scroll through Facebook you probably see countless reports on unemployment and how people are out of work, layoffs, and stories of struggle and suffering economically.
Not my clients, though!
In one week, three of my private clients GREW their teams!!!
That’s 4 more jobs that were created BECAUSE they chose to do the work that it takes to grow their business and to do it in their genius zone.
THIS is the power of one, having a growing business, and two, being a badass entrepreneur who chooses to do business smartly by NOT doing it all yourself.
Here’s the thing…
The struggle, the suffering, and the hours and hours of busy-work…
IS NOT REQUIRED.
Let me say it again for the cheap seats in the back…
In fact, I have seen time and time again that the MORE time you spend in your Zone of Genius the MORE money you...
When I first started teaching Pilates back when I was still bulimic, I worked with hundreds of bodies and I saw that it didn’t matter whether you were technically fat or technically thin, whether you worked out 5 days a week or once a month, or whether you ate healthily or you didn’t…
Now, as a business owner, I see the exact same pattern with the leaders I work with and the results (aka income) they’re bringing in.
Why is it that most small businesses fail in the first 3 years? It comes down to one thing - the mindset of the leader. And that ripples into the skillsets they acquire, the...