Ever dropped the ball? Made a mistake? Fucked up?

Of course, you have…you’re human.

And if you haven’t...well then liar, liar pants on fire. 

IT CERTAINLY DOESN’T FEEL FUN TO BE WRONG, TO MAKE A MISTAKE, TO LET SOMEONE DOWN. BUT, THERE IS THIS THING CALLED LIFE...AND SHIT...WELL, IT HAPPENS.

The question is…

What do you do about it after?

How do you make amends, mea culpa, and pick up the balls and start juggling again? 

These past few weeks as I navigated through grief and spearheading my dad’s memorial, I messed up. I dropped the ball. I rescheduled so many things. I fucked up.

And you know what...it’s okay. 

Because one of my deepest values is PERSONAL GROWTH.

IN MY BUSINESS, WE TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER IN OUR CORE VALUES AS GROW OR DIE.

And, frankly, success is a crappy teacher. 

Your mistakes, messes, failures, and fuckups have so many nuggets of freaking GROWTH GOLD if you just choose to look at them through the lens of opportunity.  

It was with that lens that I learn...

Here we are in February. January was in a word...growth. 

Losing my dad was hard. It’s still hard. And grief is a process. There are moments when I remember a funny thing he used to say or something I used to nag him about that brings me to tears within an instant. 

But the space in between those memories and the present moment is widening, creating a beautiful space for transformation. 

I miss my dad. I will always miss him in the form that I knew him. 

As I took time off to heal, to grieve, to process, to allow, I got to see all my amazing fellow go-getters kicking ass and taking names…

New year! New You!

Unstoppable 2021! 

Momentum! Growth! 

Take it to the next level NOW!

5 years ago, I would have slapped on an additional serving of shame and guilt for NOT “being there.” 

You know...not in the hustle, bustle, and exhilarating growth of it all.

But I’ve done enough internal work to know...

There is a time for the growth of working your wings to fly higher and there is a t...

If ever there was a time to make excuses, to not show up, to not do the work, to not be present...it would be now.

If ever there was an excuse to escape, to hide, to suppress, to back down, to break a commitment...it’s now. 

Here’s the thing about your excuses - they are 100% valid. 

Would I be 100% justified in canceling all my appointments? Yes.

Would it be100% valid to not be making sales offers or promotions right now? Sure. 

Would it be 100% understandable if I took a few weeks off? Absolutely.

Would I be 100% supported if I chose to hide under a blanket and cry all day? You betcha...for a while. 

This is the delicate dance between self-care and self-absorption. 

And it’s a fine line of the ego vs. honoring and nurturing your highest and best self.

I can’t tell you - and frankly, no guru, mentor, or coach can tell you - what that line is for you. (And if they do, watch yo’self Queen.)

Only you know it.

YOU KNOW THE MINUTE YOUR HEAD HITS THAT PILLOW AT NIGHT IF YOU LIVED...

I have been so grateful for all the comments, and it’s no wonder that this past week - heck, this past month, while both my parents got COVID, and then with my dad in the hospital, that I have had a lot of time to look at death from all angles. 

And you know what I saw...many. 

You die a thousand times if you live to your full potential. 

Every next level requires a next-level version of you, meaning some part of you, some old identity, MUST die in order to live fully in the life of your dreams.

When I look back on the self-destructive, bulimic, 19-year old me, I don’t recognize myself in her anymore. I just see a sad, broken girl, searching for control and ultimately wholeness and love in all the wrong places. 

That version of me died.

LIKE THE CATERPILLAR, WHO LEAVES ITS FORMER SELF IN THE COCOON OF TRANSFORMATION, YOU CREATE A NEW IDENTITY. 

A new being. 

Except in our human journey, we keep returning again and again to the cocoon, with every next level, with every next goal...

I haven’t had words and literally lost my voice these past couple of days. When I went to get a massage to at least help my body out (you can do that here in Australia 🇦🇺), my massage therapist left this note. 

As the receptionist who lives in my building guided me out, she said, “I love you.”

And every time, I just let it sink in through my tears.

Because I don’t know if my dad ever really did.

He could say it, and he could give it. Many times it was from a cup with only a few drops of love left for himself.

And he gave so much of his love. He genuinely loooooved people.

I ALWAYS MARVELED AT HOW EASILY HE COULD SAY TO SOMEONE HE LITERALLY MET 5 SECONDS AGO, “I LOVE YOU.”

To me, those were always sacred words - reserved for the chosen few to who it felt safe to say it.

But saying it, and meaning it to the world?

“No, no,” I used to think, “That exposes you, rip you open, makes you vulnerable to attack...”

And all the other lies the ego will tell you to separate yourself from ...

I’ve got a secret for you.

Knowing this has allowed me to…

Recover completely from a 10 year battle with bulimia…

Write a feature film that got on Netflix…

MEET, KEEP, MARRY, AND MAKE BEAUTIFUL BABIES WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE...

Become the partner in a quarter-million-dollar company at 24…

Defy doctor’s beliefs and have my baby, my way…

START MY DREAM BUSINESS…

Bounce my body back to its pre-baby style with ease...

Become a Forbes contributor…

Close $39,000 private clients...

Live in freaking Australia…

Wanna know what it is?

Be freaking FABULOUS. 

And OWN that shit.

There is a difference between being “fabulous” from a place of ego, thinking you’re entitled to your fabulousness…

And being FABULOUS from a place of SOUL by taking the courageous action to back that s*t up, if you know what I’m saying.

The defining differentiator is COURAGE. 

You can walk around all day long preaching about your fabulosity and how fabulous you are, but unless you have the COURAGE to go a...

I used to be HUGE on New Year Resolutions - like the biggest. Since I was 12, there are diary entries with lists, loads of lists...soooooo many lists...of all the things I would be, do, and have in the following 12 months. 

PROBLEM IS, MANY OF THE THINGS WERE ALWAYS WHAT I THOUGHT I “SHOULD” DO TO BE ENOUGH.

You will never do enough to be enough if you don’t believe you’re enough as you are, right now.

After recovering from bulimia (and ultimately perfectionism), I stopped the incessant and inefficient list-making for a more suitable process - intuition.

I started trusting myself.

Now, instead of having a list of all the things I “should” want and “should” be and “should” have, priorities start to manifest.

In 2020 I went hard.

Sure, Robin Sharma created the 5 AM Club, but before becoming a parent, I’d been up at 5 AM every single day.

Since moving to Australia, I started to prioritize the flow work I was doing, taking, on occasion, meetings, and interviews by 6 AM to accommoda...

I’ve been talking with my clients A LOT about values. How values impact your emotions, productivity, who you hire, what you spend your time doing. 

Just today in our Mindful Monarchs group coaching call, I worked with one of our Mindful Monarchs through an emotional struggle that she was having. Why was she feeling frustrated, sad, and #allthefeels?

Because her VALUES were being challenged by her team. 

YOUR VALUES ARE PART OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING. THEY ARE ONE OF THE INTERNAL FILTERS YOU USE TO PROCESS INFORMATION AND EXPERIENCES THROUGH TO THEN CREATE A MEANING IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. 

I remember when I was in my NLP coaching certification program back in 2016 and my coaches suggested to the class putting HEALTH as your top value.

For years, and I mean, for a LOT of years, FREEDOM was one of my highest values. Ever since I recovered from bulimia back when I was 22, health has always been up there in my top 5 values, but I’ve never put it right at the top.

Honestly, ...

Ever have one of those days (or weeks #letsbehonest) where you have gotta take your own medicine. 🙋🏻‍♀️. Hi, yeah, right here.

For a hot second this week, I was getting down on myself for not doing all my "new year things..."

Having my vision board done...

Having completed @manifestationbabe's Epically Aligned workshop...

Having done my own 6-month journaling prompts for designing my next level of life, business, money, travel, relationships...

And it was in that moment, that my Highest and Best Self, you know, the QUEEN, intervened.

Lawd, help us all.

"Girl!" she said, with a smacky attitude, "You don't NEED any of that shit. Those are tools, guides, habits, things. But none of them is the thing."

When my Future Self shows up in leather and lace, to the meetings in my mind, I dare not intervene.