How to Find Nuggets of Gold in Your Relationships
Gold, wealth. Shining, shimmering, splendor. When we think of riches and money and wealth, it’s easy to think about it in the traditional fashion - stocks, bonds, investments, trusts, and cold hard dolla dolla bills.
But how does money work...I mean, reeeeeeaally.
Everything in life is a relationship.
You have a relationship with your body.
A relationship with your business.
And, yes, even a relationship with your money.
Money is transferred through relationships.
That’s where the GOLD is.
Banks have relationships with other banks.
People have relationships with public companies (aka stocks).
You have a relationship with your family (aka trust.)
It is in the relationships of our money that we navigate the waters with our money.
Did you know that an unprecedented $68 trillion will pass between generations over the next 25 years?
And...sadly...
70% of family wealth is LOST by the second generation AND...
90% of family wealth is LOST by the third generation.
You’re...
What’s Your Life’s Legacy?
Death gives us a very clear reflection of our own mortality.
In the past month since my dad’s passing, I’ve seen the beautiful gift that death is.
For without death, what is life?
It is the end that allows us to assess the means of living.
IF OUR HUMAN BRAINS COULD COMPREHEND ETERNITY, WE’D HAVE NO FEAR OF THE BEYOND OR IF THE INFINITE OR OF THAT WORD...FOREVER.
Losing my dad has allowed me an exploration of my own life and the standards by which I live.
The standards of how I show up as a mom.
The standards of what I do as a business owner.
The standards of the giant Why, that Spike and I are going towards.
Instead of getting caught up in the gentle, suffocating hum of mediocrity, experiencing death first-hand has shocked me into living.
Things I didn’t even realize I had put off out of fear, I’m doing.
Dreams I hadn’t dared dream yet, are now in the planning stages of coming to fruition.
Goals I had put off to...
How Do You Get Back in the Swing
Ever dropped the ball? Made a mistake? Fucked up?
Of course, you have…you’re human.
And if you haven’t...well then liar, liar pants on fire.
IT CERTAINLY DOESN’T FEEL FUN TO BE WRONG, TO MAKE A MISTAKE, TO LET SOMEONE DOWN. BUT, THERE IS THIS THING CALLED LIFE...AND SHIT...WELL, IT HAPPENS.
The question is…
What do you do about it after?
How do you make amends, mea culpa, and pick up the balls and start juggling again?
These past few weeks as I navigated through grief and spearheading my dad’s memorial, I messed up. I dropped the ball. I rescheduled so many things. I fucked up.
And you know what...it’s okay.
Because one of my deepest values is PERSONAL GROWTH.
IN MY BUSINESS, WE TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER IN OUR CORE VALUES AS GROW OR DIE.
And, frankly, success is a crappy teacher.
Your mistakes, messes, failures, and fuckups have so many nuggets of freaking GROWTH GOLD if you just choose to look at them through the...
Starting the New Year...Now.
Here we are in February. January was in a word...growth.
Losing my dad was hard. It’s still hard. And grief is a process. There are moments when I remember a funny thing he used to say or something I used to nag him about that brings me to tears within an instant.
But the space in between those memories and the present moment is widening, creating a beautiful space for transformation.
I miss my dad. I will always miss him in the form that I knew him.
As I took time off to heal, to grieve, to process, to allow, I got to see all my amazing fellow go-getters kicking ass and taking names…
New year! New You!
Unstoppable 2021!
Momentum! Growth!
Take it to the next level NOW!
5 years ago, I would have slapped on an additional serving of shame and guilt for NOT “being there.”
You know...not in the hustle, bustle, and exhilarating growth of it all.
But I’ve done enough internal work to know...
There is a time for the...
We can do hard things.
If ever there was a time to make excuses, to not show up, to not do the work, to not be present...it would be now.
If ever there was an excuse to escape, to hide, to suppress, to back down, to break a commitment...it’s now.
Here’s the thing about your excuses - they are 100% valid.
Would I be 100% justified in canceling all my appointments? Yes.
Would it be100% valid to not be making sales offers or promotions right now? Sure.
Would it be 100% understandable if I took a few weeks off? Absolutely.
Would I be 100% supported if I chose to hide under a blanket and cry all day? You betcha...for a while.
This is the delicate dance between self-care and self-absorption.
And it’s a fine line of the ego vs. honoring and nurturing your highest and best self.
I can’t tell you - and frankly, no guru, mentor, or coach can tell you - what that line is for you. (And if they do, watch yo’self Queen.)
Only you know it.
YOU KNOW THE MINUTE...
Why Your Old Self Must Die for You to Live into Your Full Potential
I have been so grateful for all the comments, and it’s no wonder that this past week - heck, this past month, while both my parents got COVID, and then with my dad in the hospital, that I have had a lot of time to look at death from all angles.
And you know what I saw...many.
You die a thousand times if you live to your full potential.
Every next level requires a next-level version of you, meaning some part of you, some old identity, MUST die in order to live fully in the life of your dreams.
When I look back on the self-destructive, bulimic, 19-year old me, I don’t recognize myself in her anymore. I just see a sad, broken girl, searching for control and ultimately wholeness and love in all the wrong places.
That version of me died.
LIKE THE CATERPILLAR, WHO LEAVES ITS FORMER SELF IN THE COCOON OF TRANSFORMATION, YOU CREATE A NEW IDENTITY.
A new being.
Except in our human journey, we keep returning again and again to the cocoon, with...
Receive love ❤️
I haven’t had words and literally lost my voice these past couple of days. When I went to get a massage to at least help my body out (you can do that here in Australia ), my massage therapist left this note.
As the receptionist who lives in my building guided me out, she said, “I love you.”
And every time, I just let it sink in through my tears.
Because I don’t know if my dad ever really did.
He could say it, and he could give it. Many times it was from a cup with only a few drops of love left for himself.
And he gave so much of his love. He genuinely loooooved people.
I ALWAYS MARVELED AT HOW EASILY HE COULD SAY TO SOMEONE HE LITERALLY MET 5 SECONDS AGO, “I LOVE YOU.”
To me, those were always sacred words - reserved for the chosen few to who it felt safe to say it.
But saying it, and meaning it to the world?
“No, no,” I used to think, “That exposes you, rip you open, makes you vulnerable to attack...”
And all the...
The Strength of Stepping into the Unknown
Hold it together. Stay strong.
These are many words that have been uttered to me this past week, as my dad slipped from this life on Wednesday, after weeks of being in the hospital.
Of course, as always, they were uttered with the best intentions.
Honestly, though, I don’t feel very strong.
I feel very raw and real and ripped open, and if that’s strength then rock on, I’m a freaking badass.
It got me wondering, why as a society do we praise and pride ourselves on strength?
And more, what fear is there in being vulnerable, raw, real, and stripped of all pretense?
JUST BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL STRONG NOW DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT STRONG, OR WON’T EVER BE STRONG. IN FACT, QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
As a human being, you are not bound to the emotion of strength.
There is no emotional flatline to follow and even if there were, that would be the death of humanity.
Buck up.
Stiff upper lip.
Rub some dirt in it.
Pick yourself up by your britches.
Dust yourself...
The Fabulous Secret of Success
I’ve got a secret for you.
Knowing this has allowed me to…
Recover completely from a 10 year battle with bulimia…
Write a feature film that got on Netflix…
MEET, KEEP, MARRY, AND MAKE BEAUTIFUL BABIES WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE...
Become the partner in a quarter-million-dollar company at 24…
Defy doctor’s beliefs and have my baby, my way…
START MY DREAM BUSINESS…
Bounce my body back to its pre-baby style with ease...
Become a Forbes contributor…
Close $39,000 private clients...
Live in freaking Australia…
Wanna know what it is?
Be freaking FABULOUS.
And OWN that shit.
There is a difference between being “fabulous” from a place of ego, thinking you’re entitled to your fabulousness…
And being FABULOUS from a place of SOUL by taking the courageous action to back that s*t up, if you know what I’m saying.
The defining differentiator is COURAGE.
You can walk around all day long...
What I’m prioritizing this year.
I used to be HUGE on New Year Resolutions - like the biggest. Since I was 12, there are diary entries with lists, loads of lists...soooooo many lists...of all the things I would be, do, and have in the following 12 months.
PROBLEM IS, MANY OF THE THINGS WERE ALWAYS WHAT I THOUGHT I “SHOULD” DO TO BE ENOUGH.
You will never do enough to be enough if you don’t believe you’re enough as you are, right now.
After recovering from bulimia (and ultimately perfectionism), I stopped the incessant and inefficient list-making for a more suitable process - intuition.
I started trusting myself.
Now, instead of having a list of all the things I “should” want and “should” be and “should” have, priorities start to manifest.
In 2020 I went hard.
Sure, Robin Sharma created the 5 AM Club, but before becoming a parent, I’d been up at 5 AM every single day.
Since moving to Australia, I started to prioritize the flow work I was doing,...