When I first started on this motherhood journey thing, I thought I knew everything. I read all the books. I got all the advice. I did all the things to prepare (and to ignore that sinking gut instinct feeling like I was about to go on the largest rollercoaster of my life). And what a ride it has been so far.
Choosing to scale my business when I was pregnant was one thing. Actually doing it after giving birth...well, that was a whole new ball game. Fortunately, I was in a business coaching group, surrounded by like-minded women who were cheering me on. That was my inspiration to create The Queens Way. Fast forward, 18 months later, and my choice to have twins - a business and a baby - took us to Australia as a family for a month and gave me more time to spend with my child as I made even more money.
What also helped, was getting guidance early...before I was in the “Holy shit what have I done?”...
Been a while since you slid into the splits, isn’t it? I get it. You’re a little older than you were two years ago and maybe that fave yoga teacher of yours moved away. And between balancing growing your business, managing the day-to-day, and the kids who has time to stretch, right?
In my Pilates days, one of the most common problems I saw was a lack of flexibility. Back then, I only assessed the physical. Yet, as I learned more about our glorious minds, flexibility is a key to maintaining sanity let alone physical agility. Looking back on the hundreds of clients I worked with in Pilates, the ones who were the most stressed out, most emotionally taxed, most stuck in a fixed mindset (meaning totally not open to new ideas or new ways of thinking) were also the ones who were the LEAST flexible physically.
You see, back in 1989 Dr. Deepak Chopra, in his book Quantum Healing,...
Have you ever been on a roll with your productivity and then suddenly...WHAM...life hits you in the face? Do you ever start practicing a new habit, like journaling everyday, and you’re feeling super awesome, like things are finally unlocking for you for a couple weeks and then...HOLY SHIT...a freaking tsunami of doubt, fear, and anxiety wreck havoc on your emotions? Have you ever started putting yourself out there, maybe jumping back into the dating scene, or actually doing those Facebook Live-streams for your business that used to scare the crap out of you, and then suddenly, all you want to do is crawl in a hole and hide?
One of my awesome high performance clients was rocking a new meditation practice. She’d committed to doing 100 days of meditation. (Dang girl...get it!) After two weeks, both she and I could see a massive transformation. She was more assertive,...
“Why mama?” Spike and I hear a toddler say while on our regular hike up Tesmescal Canyon in Pacific Palisades, CA. We look to each other, knowing that our days of Declan’s blissful baby talk are coming to an end. Soon we will transition into toddlerhood, and our son will begin to unequivocally question everything.
And rightly so.
Or they can keep us stuck in victim-hood. Questions are powerful.
Look at the difference in the power of these questions:
Why does this always happen to me?
What can I do differently so this doesn’t happen to me again?
The first question will leave you with a lot of reasons, excuses, and limiting beliefs that keep you stuck.
“It must be because I’m too fat/skinny/old/tall/short/feminine/masculine…” And the list can go on for as many reasons that you can give it. The problem is that takes away ownership or any ability for you to create...
This past week, I was jamming with one of my high performance coaching clients. We were working on the topic of courage, and how she could work that muscle better. We discovered that somewhere along the way, she had attributed acts of courage with being confident. However, since she didn’t view herself as a “confident” person, she had allowed other people to people to take the reigns for her...and she just, kind of, went along. Now, fifty years later, she was finally putting herself in the driver’s seat.
And, because she didn’t feel confident, her courageous, bold action steps were few and far between. The pattern: taking a giant leap forward toward what she wanted - freedom, success, opportunity, soul-enhancing relationships - and then back-stepping four or five steps, nearly back to where she started. Kind of like a Scooby Doo cartoon. (You can add the sound effects.)
I was jamming with a client this past week and he (yes, I do work with men from time to time), was struggling with his ability to believe in himself. Hey, we’ve all been there at some point in our lives, especially when you feel like you just keep getting hit by the school of hard knocks. Your business is struggling. You’re deep in debt. Your once loving and joyous relationship is barely standing on rocky ground.
So, I asked him, “What’s it going to take for you to believe in yourself?” To which he replied, “I’ll believe in myself when I have success.”
Here’s the problem with that reasoning.
If you’re looking for external circumstances (i.e. having success) to give you the ability to believe in yourself...it’s probably never gonna happen. If it does, that’s pure random luck. And, usually, people who achieve some medium of success or love...
WAIT, don’t get on your high horse just yet...
You see, for the past 4 days, I had the privilege of taking not only my family, but my private clients, and some of my lucky winners from my group coaching program, The Queens Way, to Phoenix, AZ for Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy. You know, New York Times #1 Bestseller Brendon Burchard, bestselling author of The Millionaire Messenger, The Charge, The Motivation Manifesto, and, most recently High Performance Habits.
Yeah, that Brendon Burchard.
Something Brendon said over the weekend really stuck out to me.
When you get truly micro, no one on the planet has been through exactly the same experiences, exactly the same pains, or has exactly the same story as you. That’s what makes you unique. That’s where your...
Do you put off projects until something else occurs? Has your list of project grown longer and longer, and yet felt farther and farther away? But, is there an itching, burning, stinging sensation in your fingertips to just continue scrolling through Facebook and Instagram?
You’re not alone. In fact, it’s quite common.
All humans have suffered from “I’ll Do I.T. When” Syndrome at some point in their lives. Symptoms include dreaming audaciously large dreams and yet not making any forward progress, lacking motivation, desiring things other people have, constantly seeking new opportunities, project lists, and backlogs of unfinished self-study courses.
I.T. must happen in order to achieve a certain outcome, accomplish a specific goal, or complete a project or task.
Consult with your coach if you think you may be...
My son has this new scream that kind of sounds like bloody-murder, like someone had starved and deprived him of everything he ever loved, soul-curdling. It’s a SAW 10 worthy of a scream.
It’s just a fart.
And when I hear that little noisy poof of air, after the massive build-up of emotion, fear, stress, and anxiety, I have to laugh.
Our perceptions filter what is. Our reality is not reality itself. It’s our conscious reality, yes, but is it the reality? No. It’s what we perceive it to be our reality.
We can wail and scream at it...and usually, we do. (Let’s be honest.) Because that’s what we’ve learned to do since infancy. You were never taught another option, another resource, to change our response.
Joseph Campbell said, “The meaning of life is what you ascribe to it.”
How much meaning are...
Big butts may be good for Sir Mixalot, but a big ‘but’ can curtail your communication and have big consequences. No, I don’t mean junk-in-the-trunk kind of butts, but 'but'…you know…the word.
You look nice in that dress…but…
You did a great job with this project…but…
I love you…but…
You can already feel it. And as you know, when there's a battle between thought and feeling, feeling wins. Every time.
Whether a big or little 'but' is in the way, our emotional response is to ignore everything that went before the 'but’ and to focus only on what comes after it.
And, it's like a flashing warning signal that a really important point is coming up.
‘But’ is one of the most commonly misused words in the...