It was two weeks ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table of our AirBnB, pulling document after document of proof of my income to show to the rental company for our new place. I even needed a letter from my accountant stating the growth of my company.

FYI, Australia doesn’t mess around when it comes to proving you can pay your bills. 

As I was reviewing my numbers, it was then that it hit me…

“Holy shit...I did it!” 

I leaped up from my chair and ran into Spike. “I did it!”

We doubled our income this year.

We doubled our profit this year.

And then, we doubled our profit again. (Found that one out from my accountant’s lovely letter. Thanks, Jerra!)

We’re on track for a 150% growth in 2020. 

This is the number I screamed from the top of my lungs at Tony Robbins’ Business Mastery way back in January.

I felt this growth in my BONES.

After we settled into our new place (yes, we got the apartment...woot-woot!), I started reflecting on all the ways 2020 has doubled.

We doubled the ...

One of the biggest obstacles that I’ve seen to a successful client’s greatness is their comfort level.

Especially when you’ve achieved a lot, especially when you’ve had several significant wins under your belt, especially when you’ve been able to grow, scale, accomplish goals of impressive heights - there is a height, an altitude that is comfortable.

FLYING HIGHER SEEMS DANGEROUS.

We wanted not to do that. Right, Icarus?

So we coast at an altitude that suits us - nice bottles of wine, nice home, nice life - no real NEED for change.

Except that it’s stirring in your soul begging to be unleashed.

Except for every day you’re going through the motions, you feel like a part of you slightly died or worse, dimmed.

Except that your purpose, that THING, that dream, that unreasonable, seemingly impossible thing that you don’t currently know how to do is tugging at your heart like a toddler pulling your hand “Faster, mommy, faster,” to get through the dang line and into Disneyland.

And ev...

Can you believe we are in DECEMBER? What? What time is it? What day is it? The fact that we are still here now in Australia, and have been since March, still dazzles me.  

IT’S TAKEN LOADS OF COURAGE, I CAN TELL YA THAT. 

This year has been, for many, an emotional rollercoaster. So I just wanted to check-in. 

How’s your energy these days?

Your emotions are a powerful guidance tool to gauge your energy.

Feeling low? Rundown? 

You may be in a state of apathy or guilt or grief. (And no one would blame you.)

Feeling anxious? Scared? Uncertain of where the next dollar’s going to come from? 

You may be feeling emotions of anger or fear. Or, hell, maybe a little pride even, like you SHOULD be farther along right now. 

It’s easy for our emotions to start spinning stories in our heads that cause us to lose track of the present moment.

I grew up not knowing a lot about emotions. They were just labeled as “bad.” Or I was labeled as being “too dramatic” when I felt big feelings.

So lear...

EXPECTATIONS CAN BE HARD TO MANAGE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE A HIGH ACHIEVER. 

We tend to set the bar pretty darn high for how life/business/our bodies “should be. 

In the past, I’ve had this expectancy of what I “should” be making or “should” be doing around the holidays. 

So many shoulds.

You should have turkey on Thanksgiving. 

You should sell on Black Friday.

You should be making more money.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIVING WITH EXPECTATIONS - HAVING A BELIEF THAT CERTAIN DREAMS AND DESIRES THAT YOU HAVE WILL COME TRUE.

And operating with expectancy - being in the STATE of anticipation. 

Your STATE is the vibration you hold. It’s the emotions you experience. 

Having coached high achievers for the past 4 years, and, as I’ve been one my entire life, I’ve typically found that an anticipatory state is fraught with anxiety, fear, and lack.

It’s a state in which the thing you want - whether it’s money or success or connection - is not currently available.

You will only get ...

For the first time in 2 years, I chose to NOT do like the rest of the world. 

Every year over Thanksgiving in the past, I have been glued to my computer frantically creating content and a Black Friday/Cyber Monday offer that, frankly, never really was in alignment, to begin with.

I’ll be honest. I created a lot of them out of a “scarcity mindset” - and I learned a hard lesson when you do that. 

They sold a whopping zero. Two years in a row. 

Yes, one year selling zero is a fluke. Two is a pattern.

So this year, between moving into our new place - an actual apartment not an AirBnB - and jumping through all the hoops that went into that...

IT JUST DIDN’T FEEL ALIGNED TO THROW OUT SOME BUNDLE THAT WASN’T 100% FROM A PLACE OF SERVICE, TRUST, AND FAITH. 

No one needs more stuff right now. 

We need more CONNECTIONS.

True deep, meaningful connection and growth.

Connection with yourself.

Connection to what you want and desire.

Connection with your courage to actually go after it. 

Confession time: Eminem has helped unlock my soul since 2009. 

To this day, Lose Yourself still gives me chills. It is a song that when it comes on, the volume goes all the way up, and suddenly this Fire Rabbit (if you’re familiar with Chinese astrology and a proper double entendre with Eminem’s character in 8 Mile) comes out. 

She is fierce. 

She is driven.

She is freaking powerful. 

Ever have a song that taps you into who you KNOW you are and can be at your soul?

I remember back at the beginning of 2019, Spike, Decky, and I were headed for our yearly review on the beach - Decky, being two was only there for the swings and sweet potato fries. 

As we were driving down the PCH, Lose Yourself by Eminem came on, and of course, Spike and I threw it down...because that’s how us Spencer’s roll, yo!

It hit me then, that while 2018 was a year of many amazing firsts, many dreams coming true even, it paradoxically was the year of many challenges, many struggles, and many painful lessons....

Watch out, because I’ve got a bone to pick (and yeah, it’s because I picked it raw and real in the first 1.5 years in my business.)

You see, back then I was doing all the things - blogging, photoshoot, website design, creating products (that no one wanted), investing in tech, like, everything...

Except for making money.

My husband even had a joke back then, that I couldn’t get 15 minutes into a Netflix show without whipping open my computer and getting to work.

Fast forward till now...

And I just finished watching 2 glorious hours of Ancient Aliens...sans computer, and sans baby.

I enjoyed every single second of it. No laptop. No phone. No kiddo even (he was in school.)

Here’s the thing...

FEAR WILL HOLD YOU CAPTIVE.
It will keep you stuck in the easy.

It will keep you trapped in the Groundhog Day of the pervasive world for work’s sake.

It will keep you trapped in fire fighting mode, when, really, the fire is just the REAL stuff you know you SHOULD be doing that’s burning a ho...

It boggles my mind when I see this come up in business - stealing customers. 

Gasp! Oh no, say it ain’t so! 

And not in a “How could someone do that to someone else?”

No, no, no…

It’s in a “how can someone think it’s even possible to “steal” a client?”

Like, do you own them?

Are you their master? And are they your slave?

Because dear Lord, if we head down that road, we’re headed for trouble.

This is a belief that stems 100% from scarcity and fear. 

And, really, when you question it, it’s not logical. 

I’ve seen this problem pop up from time to time in every industry, and especially with service-based professionals as they cling desperately to their clientele labeling them as “mine” and should they dare consider leaving them, there are gnarly scare tactics thrown their way.

Ummm...yeah, been in those types of relationships and they’re called controlling.

I’ve even had some”#woke” business owners think that Karma is going to “get” someone who’s stolen a client from them - Lik...

When I was younger I used to PRIDE myself on being busy, “Better busy than bored,” I’d announce, beaming at my packed schedule with massive gratitude. 

I looooved what I was doing. I felt in alignment, so being “busy” never bothered me because it fueled me on a soul level (and work also allowed me to escape dealing with things in my romantic relationships - but that’s another story for another day).

It was about a year into teaching Pilates that I was blessed with a paradigm shift around “busyness.”

I had two clients…

One, a mother of two grown children, both in high school, both with their own cars. She was fully supported by her ex-husband, had no job, no business...and was the most STRESSED OUT HUMAN that I have ever met in my life still to this day.

She would come into her 10 AM Private Pilates sessions with me - her body tight, constricted, with a bloated stress belly to boot. She would complain about how “busy” she was and how much “stress” she had - I mean choosing the RIGH...

If negativity is your kryptonite too, keep reading.⁠

Because hot dang, I feel frankly worn from these past few weeks. You too?

Thank God for Spike, my partner, and my support when I’m in the middle of a “Hurri-Kim” of crap feelings. 

Fortunately, I’ve cultivated the tools over years and years of work to recognize, acknowledge, shift and break-through - but dang, when you’re in it it’s like the breaking down of your being.

What happens when you get stabbed with your own kryptonite? 

YOU FEEL THE INNER PANGS OF YOUR OWN FEAR, DOUBT, FRUSTRATION, SHAME, OR WHATEVER OTHER SUPERWOMAN-CRUSHING FEELINGS, YOU FEEL, THAT MAKE YOU - HUMAN.⁠

Wait - what? Do you mean I’m not PERFECT?

Trying to pretend that shadow doesn’t exist only makes the monster under the bed get bigger and bigger in your head.⁠

I learned this the hard way after I gave birth to Declan. 

I was doing all the things in my business, it was growing. My mindset as a business owner was on track - but as a mom, I was riddled ...