I was jamming with a client this past week and he (yes, I do work with men from time to time), was struggling with his ability to believe in himself. Hey, we’ve all been there at some point in our lives, especially when you feel like you just keep getting hit by the school of hard knocks. Your business is struggling. You’re deep in debt. Your once loving and joyous relationship is barely standing on rocky ground.

THESE ALL CAUSE US TO QUESTION OUR BELIEF IN OUR ABILITY TO FIGURE IT OUT.

So, I asked him, “What’s it going to take for you to believe in yourself?” To which he replied, “I’ll believe in myself when I have success.”

Here’s the problem with that reasoning.

If you’re looking for external circumstances (i.e. having success) to give you the ability to believe in yourself...it’s probably never gonna happen. If it does, that’s pure random luck. And, usually, people who achieve some medium of success or love...

A LESSON FROM BRENDON BURCHARD

WITH A QUEENLY TWIST.

WAIT, don’t get on your high horse just yet...

You see, for the past 4 days, I had the privilege of taking not only my family, but my private clients, and some of my lucky winners from my group coaching program, The Queens Way, to Phoenix, AZ for Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy.  You know, New York Times #1 Bestseller Brendon Burchard, bestselling author of The Millionaire Messenger, The Charge, The Motivation Manifesto, and, most recently High Performance Habits.

Yeah, that Brendon Burchard.

Something Brendon said over the weekend really stuck out to me.

THERE ARE SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE ON THE PLANET, AND YET, SOMETIMES, WE FEEL LIKE “NO ONE UNDERSTANDS US.”

When you get truly micro, no one on the planet has been through exactly the same experiences, exactly the same pains, or has exactly the same story as you. That’s what makes you unique. That’s where your...

Do you put off projects until something else occurs? Has your list of project grown longer and longer, and yet felt farther and farther away? But, is there an itching, burning, stinging sensation in your fingertips to just continue scrolling through Facebook and Instagram?

MY FRIEND, YOU’RE SUFFERING FROM A CASE OF “I’LL DO I.T. WHEN” SYNDROME.

You’re not alone.  In fact, it’s quite common.

All humans have suffered from “I’ll Do I.T. When” Syndrome at some point in their lives. Symptoms include dreaming audaciously large dreams and yet not making any forward progress, lacking motivation, desiring things other people have, constantly seeking new opportunities, project lists, and backlogs of unfinished self-study courses.

I.T. STANDS FOR INTERNAL TRANSFORMATION.

I.T. must happen in order to achieve a certain outcome, accomplish a specific goal, or complete a project or task.

Consult with your coach if you think you may be...

My son has this new scream that kind of sounds like bloody-murder, like someone had starved and deprived him of everything he ever loved, soul-curdling. It’s a SAW 10 worthy of a scream. 

When really...

It’s just a fart.

And when I hear that little noisy poof of air, after the massive build-up of emotion, fear, stress, and anxiety, I have to laugh.

HOW OFTEN DOES A PROBLEM SEEM SO SCREAMINGLY LARGE? AND YET, IN REALITY, IT’S JUST STINKY, HOT AIR.

Our perceptions filter what is. Our reality is not reality itself. It’s our conscious reality, yes, but is it the reality? No. It’s what we perceive it to be our reality.

We can wail and scream at it...and usually, we do. (Let’s be honest.) Because that’s what we’ve learned to do since infancy. You were never taught another option, another resource, to change our response.

Until now.

Joseph Campbell said, “The meaning of life is what you ascribe to it.”

How much meaning are...

Big butts may be good for Sir Mixalot, but a big ‘but’ can curtail your communication and have big consequences. No, I don’t mean junk-in-the-trunk kind of butts, but 'but'…you know…the word.

WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR MIND WHEN SOMEONE STICKS A BIG 'BUT,' OR EVEN A LITTLE 'BUT' IN THEIR SENTENCE? 

You look nice in that dress…but…

You did a great job with this project…but…

I love you…but…

OUCH.

You can already feel it. And as you know, when there's a battle between thought and feeling, feeling wins. Every time. 

Whether a big or little 'but' is in the way, our emotional response is to ignore everything that went before the 'but’ and to focus only on what comes after it. 

THE WORD ‘BUT’ NEGATES EVERYTHING THAT PRECEDES IT.

And, it's like a flashing warning signal that a really important point is coming up. 

‘But’ is one of the most commonly misused words in the...

As mission-minded, high vibin' Queens, we frequently set our minds to mastery. We focus our thoughts, we create those clear intentions, we check off that to-do list like a pro. I am right there with ya, sista!

BUT SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE A ROUGH DAY.
Doubt, fear, shame, guilt, some form of negative emotion arises (normally because you're right at a Breakthrough). Call it a bad day, call it low-vibes, whatever you call it, it sucks.

I used to dread the suck-days because I thought, "OMG I'm not manifesting abundance! I've got these negative emotions. That's sending mixed messages to my unconscious mind..."

AND DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE I WOULD GO.
Suppressing the negative emotions, denying that they're there is delusional. It's not your truth.

That's when unicorns, sparkles, rainbows, and airy-fairy bullshit start crowding your reality, pushing your dreams farther outside of you.

YOUR DREAMS, YOUR GOALS ARE ALL INSIDE OF YOU WAITING TO BE BIRTHED.

Ask any woman who has been through labor, and...

Wow, what a week it was. In training from 9-6AM learning how to teach my clients, both coaching and consulting, the only methodology in the world scientifically proven to predict your prospects buying behavior in 90 seconds. You can check it out here.

To top it off, the weekend before I was in a seminar series learning from some of the BEST coaches, teachers, and leaders...like multi-multi-millionaire kind of people. People like Tony Robbins’ VP of Business Strategy, Micheal Besson, Bill Walsh, and John Ferguson teaching some ADVANCED marketing, sales, and mindset material.

I’M JUST GLAD I TOOK NOTES SO THAT I COULD REMEMBER IT ALL.

Even though I know my unconscious mind captured it all, having the tangible opportunity to hit the “refresh” button on all that juicy knowledge is super alluring. That’s why I wanted to give you my secret to remembering something…

NOW, DON’T FORGET IT.

It’s BIG!!!!

Poof. And now it’s gone. ...

Now, I know you’re thinking, have I seen your student loan debt? (EESH!) I get it. But, energy is fluid. If you're paying your bills with a negative...

I’ve been meditating a lot on putting myself at Cause. You see, you always have a choice. Even when you think you don’t have a choice, you have a choice. Just because you don’t like the alternative choices available, doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice.

You can choose to take a stand. And you can choose to fall.

This week I chose to stand up for how I will allow myself and my family to be treated. Over the past three years I’ve cut several people completely out of my life - a partner, several boyfriends, a bridesmaid. They crossed my boundaries.

It sounds selfish, and it was. I totally cop to it. But that’s what boundaries are.

Boundaries are selfish. But, being selfish has got a bad rap.

As a coach of Neurolinguistic Programming, let’s take a look linguistically at what being “selfish” really is. While the term “ish” has had some urban alterations like meaning an issue of a magazine and as a euphemism for...

I know in the midst of the holidays, life can get busy. Between family, friends, parties, presents, there’s a lot that goes on and usually our self-care regimen is the first thing to be put on the back burner until January. It’s just so much more snuggly to stay cozy in bed than to go for that morning run, right?

You’re normally on your game with your self-care routine.

Maybe you’re not 100% every week perfect. But you get in your stretching, your workouts, your regular manicures, and occasionally indulge in a massage or a facial when you feel you need it bad enough. 

The thing is, while practicing that self-care routine is great, it’s all external.

You can do the tasks. You can hit your workouts. You can get your mani-pedis on the reg, but if you’re missing the internal self-care those tasks are just a brief boost of endorphins. Kind of like watching a motivational video on Facebook. You feel good for a minute, maybe even an hour, but after that...