Ever think "I should have more followers?" Or, “I should have more people on my list?” Or, “I should be making more money in my business?”

Then you may also be experiencing feelings of…

Overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, resentment, holding back tears, or screams, or rails at the high heavens for why are they so much farther along than you.

Listen...

Should-ing is soul-sucking.

If you’re stuck in comparison, beating yourself up for not being where you "should" be vs. where you are, showing up on social media...and, heck, just building a business can SUCK.

Should-ing anything is contractive energy that ain't nobody got time for.

Least of all you. And especially not your customers. 

Everything is energy, after all. 

And we feel it when you're putting on a show or trying to be like someone else, or posting with a ton of "shoulds."

Your audience is smart. Like you.

And we KNOW, even when we can’t put our finger on it when showing up is...

Personal development 101, psychoanalysis, neuroscience - all require looking inward. You see it all over the interwebs, influencers are citing positive inspirational, reflective quotes, things to make you think.

But is it just more shit to consume or is it, Soul?

Messaging requires you to message - to put your message out there. To share and serve with whatever message comes through.

You’re not looking inward when you’re looking outward for likes, followers, or for people to be dazzled by your insight.

That’s pride. 

Your intention is off.

You cannot serve two masters. 

It’s your mission and message.

Or it’s other people’s approval of what you say/do/think.

There is no grey zone. 

It’s either inward or outward. Otherwise, you get cross-eyed. 

Divine downloads, creation, messages, ideas come THROUGH you, for you and for the service of your world.

You’re either serving with those insights or having those likes serve...

It's not perfect, this journey. 

There are moments worthy of puffy eyes, release, pain, struggle, triumph, challenge, championship, figuring it out, and all the above combined into the span of 90 seconds sometimes.

But it is in those moments of crashing, burning, finding, releasing, allowing that allows for all the pieces to come together. 

Breathe. 

Keep going.

You got this, puffy eyes or not. 

You don’t have to put it out in the world - but perfect doesn’t sell and it PAYS to be human.

As Captain Marvel shows us, the benefit of being human is that we have forged an unshakable resilience to get back up again...

And again...

And again...

And again...

And every time we stand up, FOR ourselves, FOR something greater than use, FOR love, FOR more...

You strengthen the resilience within us, which, when forged, exercised in the throws of "too much," stress, overwhelm, pain, struggle, choice, choosing, and redeciding, recommitting to that vision. 

You...

“Once I get my degree, then I’ll start my Youtube channel and posting more on social media.”

Ah, the great If/Then Syndrome, oh I was ready to tackle this one with my Revolutionary Empire Builder head-on.

“I’m curious, how have you been able to get your degree?”

“Well...I studied and practiced.”

“EXACTLY. YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS THROUGH DOING AND PRACTICING AND REPETITION. IT’S LIKE A MUSCLE. YOU HAVE TO STRENGTHEN IT. 

Putting content out there on the interwebs is the same thing - it too is a muscle the needs to be strengthened, toned, worked on.

All social media profiles were flabby, small, and weak at one point too.

Those that have grown have grown because the leader chose to strengthen them.”

All the things you want to create in this world take disciplined work.

Notice I didn’t say HARD.

I said DISCIPLINED.

It is a practice, like going to the gym. 

And when you’re at the gym, as you go, more and...

Ever have that one thing that keeps recurring in your life every time you feel like you’re leveling up? 

For me, it’s around rejection. I have had to do a lot of healing around people leaving.

I’d reject parts of me - the silly, the weird, the dramatic, the ultra-girly, the ballerina -  or parts that I thought would allow me to fit in, only to be rejected. 

HINT: DEEP DOWN, HUMANS AREN’T STUPID. THEY KNOW WHEN YOU’RE FAKING IT. SOMETIMES THEY MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE FAKING IT - BUT FAKING IT CAN BE FELT JUST AS DEEPLY AS FEELING IT. 

I thought I was the weird kid growing up - that it was something I did.

But really, I was just mirroring my own rejection of myself in others. 

Rejecting the shame of trying to fit in, when really, I’ve always known I was different. 

Rejecting the guilt for not trusting that I was enough.

People are our mirrors. 

When you try to hide from people, burying yourself in...

I know pretty much nothing about art. Other than a half a semester of art history in high school, where basically my only takeaway was understanding the difference between Baroque and Rococo because of that joke Cogsworth makes in Beauty and the Beast, I am pretty much lost in the art world. 

I ONLY KNOW WHAT I LIKE...AND WHAT I LOVE. 

I love impressionists - yeah, all the stuff you don’t need contacts for and requires a hint of imagination and feeling, that’s my jam.

There’s a vibe you get when you stand a foot away from one, where you feel the passion in the brushstrokes. You can sense the feeling in the globs of color, and swipes of the brush. 

Back in the Impressionist Era, there were a lot of people doing blurry paintings with pretty colors.

Van Gogh.

Monet. 

Manet. 

Degas.

It got me wondering…

How many impressionists thought their market was oversaturated?

How many painters didn’t believe in their art because someone else...

“Why did you want to become an entrepreneur?” I asked. 

“Freedom,” my client said to me. 

I’ve been working with high-achieving entrepreneurs and creators for four years now, and there is one reason, bar none, why someone is crazy enough to venture into the world of entrepreneurship, to create a business and life on their terms.

FREEDOM.

Freedom financially.

Freedom to travel the world.

Freedom to have a business that supports that.

FREEDOM TO DO WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT WITH WHO THEY WANT. 

Then why is it that so many entrepreneurs box themselves into the very cages they looked to escape from?

They brag about barely sleeping.

THEY THROW DOWN HOW HARD THEY WORK, HOW LONG THEY WORK LIKE THE P*NI$ PRODUCTIVITY PARADIGM I TALK ABOUT ON THE PODCAST. 

They wear busyness like it’s a badge of honor.

Is that freedom?

To work away 10 hours a day behind your computer, suffering at doing all the things, and yet barely making...

I was watching a documentary on Freud as I had my lunch. It was a day when Decky was in Pre-K and Spike was at the gym, so I could watch what others would call in my house “boring docuseries” or things that aren’t really appropriate for a three-year-old. 

Freud’s influence on modern culture is undeniable - from how we think about sex to how we think about ourselves. 

And while I’m more of a Jungian gal myself, when you think of psychoanalysis, it’s Freud who culturally first comes to mind. 

But, on the show, it was hypothesized Freud’s work was in part the catalyst to spark our current culture of narcissism filled with selfies, look-at-me-posting, and pictures of lunches. 

As someone who uses selfies in much of my work and my business, and who shares regularly, openly about my life...

It got me thinking...

What makes a personal brand (aka a business) different than a narcissist?

And suddenly, it became very clear. 

...

I used to hide from the parts of myself I hated - the hypocrite, the negative, the jealous bitch, the victim, the whiny brat. 

Typically, I’m a  pretty positive person. 

BUT THERE ARE DAYS WHEN THE DOUBT RAGES OR THE FEAR FEELS ALL TOO CONSUMING.

And usually, there is a thought - just one on repeat that’s like “It’s a small world,” where now you can’t get it out of your head, can you?

And it’s there. And it sucks.

Problem is…

Ignoring it.

PRETENDING LIKE IT DOESN’T EXIST. 

Trying to “think positive” your way out of it.

Yeah, that doesn’t work. 

Having coached high-achieving personal development junkies for the past four years, I’ve seen this fear. It’s practically a version of having any feelings that don’t match the “high positive vibes” we typically live in day to today. 

IF NEGATIVITY IS YOUR KRYPTONITE TOO, KEEP READING.

Because what happens when...