I have been so grateful for all the comments, and it’s no wonder that this past week - heck, this past month, while both my parents got COVID, and then with my dad in the hospital, that I have had a lot of time to look at death from all angles.
And you know what I saw...many.
You die a thousand times if you live to your full potential.
Every next level requires a next-level version of you, meaning some part of you, some old identity, MUST die in order to live fully in the life of your dreams.
When I look back on the self-destructive, bulimic, 19-year old me, I don’t recognize myself in her anymore. I just see a sad, broken girl, searching for control and ultimately wholeness and love in all the wrong places.
That version of me died.
A new being.
Except in our human journey, we keep returning again and again to the cocoon, with...
I haven’t had words and literally lost my voice these past couple of days. When I went to get a massage to at least help my body out (you can do that here in Australia ), my massage therapist left this note.
As the receptionist who lives in my building guided me out, she said, “I love you.”
And every time, I just let it sink in through my tears.
Because I don’t know if my dad ever really did.
He could say it, and he could give it. Many times it was from a cup with only a few drops of love left for himself.
And he gave so much of his love. He genuinely loooooved people.
To me, those were always sacred words - reserved for the chosen few to who it felt safe to say it.
But saying it, and meaning it to the world?
“No, no,” I used to think, “That exposes you, rip you open, makes you vulnerable to attack...”
And all the...
Hold it together. Stay strong.
These are many words that have been uttered to me this past week, as my dad slipped from this life on Wednesday, after weeks of being in the hospital.
Of course, as always, they were uttered with the best intentions.
Honestly, though, I don’t feel very strong.
I feel very raw and real and ripped open, and if that’s strength then rock on, I’m a freaking badass.
It got me wondering, why as a society do we praise and pride ourselves on strength?
And more, what fear is there in being vulnerable, raw, real, and stripped of all pretense?
As a human being, you are not bound to the emotion of strength.
There is no emotional flatline to follow and even if there were, that would be the death of humanity.
Stiff upper lip.
Rub some dirt in it.
Pick yourself up by your britches.
I’ve got a secret for you.
Knowing this has allowed me to…
Recover completely from a 10 year battle with bulimia…
Write a feature film that got on Netflix…
Become the partner in a quarter-million-dollar company at 24…
Defy doctor’s beliefs and have my baby, my way…
Bounce my body back to its pre-baby style with ease...
Become a Forbes contributor…
Close $39,000 private clients...
Live in freaking Australia…
Wanna know what it is?
Be freaking FABULOUS.
And OWN that shit.
There is a difference between being “fabulous” from a place of ego, thinking you’re entitled to your fabulousness…
And being FABULOUS from a place of SOUL by taking the courageous action to back that s*t up, if you know what I’m saying.
The defining differentiator is COURAGE.
You can walk around all day long...
I used to be HUGE on New Year Resolutions - like the biggest. Since I was 12, there are diary entries with lists, loads of lists...soooooo many lists...of all the things I would be, do, and have in the following 12 months.
You will never do enough to be enough if you don’t believe you’re enough as you are, right now.
After recovering from bulimia (and ultimately perfectionism), I stopped the incessant and inefficient list-making for a more suitable process - intuition.
I started trusting myself.
Now, instead of having a list of all the things I “should” want and “should” be and “should” have, priorities start to manifest.
In 2020 I went hard.
Sure, Robin Sharma created the 5 AM Club, but before becoming a parent, I’d been up at 5 AM every single day.
Since moving to Australia, I started to prioritize the flow work I was doing,...
I’ve been talking with my clients A LOT about values. How values impact your emotions, productivity, who you hire, what you spend your time doing.
Just today in our Mindful Monarchs group coaching call, I worked with one of our Mindful Monarchs through an emotional struggle that she was having. Why was she feeling frustrated, sad, and #allthefeels?
Because her VALUES were being challenged by her team.
I remember when I was in my NLP coaching certification program back in 2016 and my coaches suggested to the class putting HEALTH as your top value.
For years, and I mean, for a LOT of years, FREEDOM was one of my highest values. Ever since I recovered from bulimia back when I was 22, health has always been up there in my top 5 values, but I’ve never put it...
Ever have one of those days (or weeks #letsbehonest) where you have gotta take your own medicine. . Hi, yeah, right here.
For a hot second this week, I was getting down on myself for not doing all my "new year things..."
Having my vision board done...
Having completed @manifestationbabe's Epically Aligned workshop...
Having done my own 6-month journaling prompts for designing my next level of life, business, money, travel, relationships...
And it was in that moment, that my Highest and Best Self, you know, the QUEEN, intervened.
Lawd, help us all.
"Girl!" she said, with a smacky attitude, "You don't NEED any of that shit. Those are tools, guides, habits, things. But none of them is the thing."
When my Future Self shows up in leather and lace, to the meetings in my mind, I dare not intervene.
She continued, "The greatest guide and the ONLY guide you need is the CLARITY in your SOUL of what you truly desire. And you've had that in there since you were five. So stop pouting...
WE DID IT! We made it through 2020.
You learned some things along the way.
And, wo-man-o-man, how those lessons will serve in this decade to come.
Take a deep breath and release.
2020 was challenging. And with challenging years, like with challenging workouts, your body needs space to rest and recuperate.
Give yourself the gentle touch of rest.
Grace your body, your mind, your soul with a break.
Here’s the thing…
2020 was a year of MASSIVE sympathetic activation.
In your body, you have two parts of your nervous system: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic.
Your sympathetic nervous system is your fight or flight.
And personally, this system has got a bit of a bad rap, because we hear all the horrors of chronic stress and anxiety, and feel like you’re on the fringe of things.
That just means your sympathetic is a wee bit over-stimulated.
You NEED fight or flight for short-term success.
Yeah, I know I normally write some fancy pants thing that sparks inspiration, wonder, merriment or challenges the soul, but today, tonight especially, I decided to bring some levity and light as we enter into 2021.
2020 has been a year of growth and expansion for all of us. This week alone has been a final stretch of growth for me personally in all ways.
If nothing else, 2020 has taught me to ENJOY your work, your life, your family, your friends, and not take everything so freaking seriously.
Because, in the end, it is the moments of both joy and courage that we seized and the moments of joy and courage that we missed that we remember the most.
And downright silliness…
And just pure fun...
Twas the night before new year, and all through the house.
Possibility was stirring, practically jumping off the couch!
The past year had been trying, challenging at best,
And all were looking forward to...
I wish I could say this week has been what it normally is - one focused on vision, creation, expansion, and preparation for the next evolution in a new year. I guess you could say that it has, in its own way, an emotional unfolding of values, release, cutting energetic cords, and practicing the utmost presence.
My dad was hospitalized the day after Christmas with COVID, put into a medically induced coma, on a ventilator, and due to COVID restrictions, my mom isn’t even allowed by his side. We didn’t know if he was going to live or die, though day by day, it’s looking incrementally better.
Needless to say, it’s been a whirlwind, trying, challenging, and all the things. I shared my pretty raw and real take on it in our Crown Yourself community and on my IG. I haven’t held back, I’ve shown up. Struggled. Openly, in the hopes that for all the recovering perfectionists who put on a face of strength and who are used to being the...