One of the greatest gifts I was ever given was the blessing of working 10+ hours a day, 6 days a week, for 4 years with thousands of Pilates clients back when I was just 20 years old.
You see, back then, I was in the throes of bulimia, rollercoaster dieting, trying to save my own life and I found this ONE tool - Pilates - that was a complete and total gamechanger.
Not only because Pilates activates and trains your parasympathetic nervous system, so for those who have had trauma in their past, operating in fight/flight mode all the time, in states of high or chronic anxiety - yeah, Pilates helps tell your sympathetic nervous system to chill TF out….
(And mine needed to back then, like a mofo.)
But also because teaching Pilates exposed me every day to 10 different humans a day, meaning 10 different belief systems a day, 10 different ways of BEING a day.
It allowed me to discover that there is no “right” way to do life - there’s just your way, or...
There have been moments - I will totally OWN it - when I have thought:
"God, it would have been soooo much easier had I really started growing my business without having kids!"
I would have had so much more time.
I could have made so much more money.
I wouldn't have had to struggle so much in the beginning.
And down the woulda-coulda-shoulda rabbit hole, I would go.
Here's the truth of it though...
Had it been my path to build a real, transformative, money-making business with no children, I would have.
I would have kept going, stumbling and fumbling around in the dark, throwing spaghetti at a wall, pretending to be a #bossbabe with my business cards that said "CEO" on them and my fancy, expensive website, but I wouldn't have had the NECESSITY or the URGENCY to change.
For me, my kids have been my GREATEST motivators.
Declan gave me the spark of COURAGE to get certified in NLP, Time Line Therapy, and hypnosis, even though it wasn’t the right time, I didn’t...
If you had told me 15 years ago, back when I was struggling with bulimia that I'd take a picture like this at the heaviest weight I've ever been (not that weight matters, obvi, I know I'm pregnant) and told me that I would actually FEEL BEAUTIFUL, I would have thought you were nuts.
Yet, here I am.
Sparkly, full of baby, and so grateful for this life.
In fact, never have I ever felt this beautiful (with a SLIGHT emphasis on the -FUL part because, hot dang - holy baby belly!)
I am carrying something so much greater than a perfectly toned tummy.
Life, creation, lives and is growing in me right now.
But you don’t have to be pregnant to feel that.
After my mom sat on me when I was 16-years old, pinning me down in the hallway as I fought her relentlessly to go puke my food out, and essentially saving my life (thanks mom!), I had the wake-up call I needed as she screamed at me “I love you, Kim, I’m not going to let you kill yourself!”
I realized was on the slow path to suicide - because that’s what all eating disorders are. I didn’t want to die. But I didn’t know how to live.
I didn’t have the HOW, but I had the WHO.
I had someone else who was rooting for me to succeed in my quest to live healthily and whole, a quest that would take me 5 more years to fully recover from.
But I did.
And the advice that got me through...
"Be kind to yourself," she said.
It showed up in ALL areas of my life, from my body to my relationships to my bank account to my business.
Do you know what had to change?
I had to...
I was asked recently on a podcast what I think is the most insidious problem facing the world today. In one word I said this, “BLAME.”
It's the effect.
And it causes more shitty results.
It gets you stuck in a cycle of being either the victim of your circumstances or the villain of your life, swinging the pendulum back and forth, but never actually gaining momentum forward.
Blame is a natural, and biological response.
In fact, in my upcoming book, Rule Your Body (which you can totally pre-order now BTW), I dive deep into this “just world bias” of blame.
We as humans naturally have a desire to see things as “fair.” You hear it all the time if you have a toddler - “That’s not...what?” You got it: “fair.”
Can we just take a hot second to celebrate how awesome YOU are?
You and all your quirks...that make you unique, special, and one-of-a-kind.
You and all your mistakes...that you're learning from every day.
You and all your successes...that make you a freaking badass at what you do!
You and all your faults...that strengthen your self-compassion and your immense empathy for others.
You and all your roles...that you probably need to give yourself a lot more credit for (if we're being honest here.)
You and all your work...that you are doing day in and day out to serve others, your family, and our beautiful world. (Thank you for that, BTW!)
You and all your love.
You are perfect as you are...AND you are perfecting at the same time.
Thank you for being here.
Remember, your reign is now.
P.S. Acknowledgement of both your progress, your success, and...
The number one reason most of my clients come to work with me is NOT that they want to build a business.
It's NOT for my strategies, or my systems, or my digital nomad, have two babies, live in Australian lifestyle.
It’s NOT that they want to even make more money (although they always do want to).
The number ONE REASON why my clients come to me is this:
It's for FREEDOM + EASE.
Here's the thing...
Freedom and ease are a BYPRODUCT of your choices.
You CHOOSE to have freedom when you CHOOSE to end your workday after 6 hours.
You CHOOSE to have ease when you take care of the things that have been burning a hole in your brain instead of letting them fester.
You CHOOSE to do what you want when you fucking DECIDE you're doing what you want when you want...like me taking my kiddo out for a midday swim, sun and sand time at our pool.
If your CHOICES don't back your intention (aka - the desire to have FREEDOM + EASE), THAT is when you feel stuck.
That is when things feel hard...
Do you have any idea just how powerful YOU are?
Your body has the power to heal itself.
When you get a cut, your body immediately goes to work in healing it.
You don’t have to think about it.
You don’t have to work hard for it to heal. It heals.
You bandage that bad boy up and - voila! - within a couple of days your body has healed itself.
When you break a bone, you set it and forget it.
Your body goes to work on healing itself.
You don’t have to think about it.
You don’t have to force it to happen
And after 6-8 weeks that cast comes off, the area where you broke that bone is actually stronger than it was before.
Your body becomes stronger because of the break.
Your creations have the power to generate exploration and discovery.
Your words have the power to heal with love.
Your actions have the power to inspire others.
Your work has the power to deeply and profoundly impact...
When I first heard this idea from one of my mentors that “buyers are liars,” I was triggered every which way from Sunday.
What do you mean I don’t know what I want?
Do you think I’m lying to myself about what I desire?
And then I realized...after telling my ego to chill TF out...yeah, I’m guilty of lying to myself too when I buy.
Less now, after several years of reshaping my money mindset, I was totally a giant liar-face to myself when I signed up for my first coach and coaching certification program.
I THOUGHT what I wanted was the certificate.
I THOUGHT I wanted the fancy pants credentials.
I THOUGHT I wanted the validation of someone saying “here’s a piece of paper that gives you legitimacy to coach.”
I THOUGHT I needed the “how” of other people’s processes to be able to coach.
I just wasn’t trusting myself enough to do the dang thing in the first place.
I have a belief. I’ll warn you…it’s quite controversial.
You see, I used to have this desperate, dire fear of being wrong. GASP! NO! Say it isn’t so!
This fear-based belief led me down a dark and windy, lonely road to perfectionism.
All or nothing. Nothing was ever good enough. 99% = Failure. Only 100% or more. Extra credit on the side!
It’s like running a marathon, getting to mile 20, hitting your wall, and because you slowed your pace down (heavens forbid!) you force yourself sadistically to go back to the starting line because you’re not running at the same pace, at the same ridiculously high standards you held yourself to…instead of just finishing the dang race.
Therein lay years of self-sabotage, guilt, shame, and...