Ever caught yourself in massive comparison mode? Like everyone seems to be doing SO much better than you, for some crazy reason and youâre wonderingâŠ
âWhatâs wrong with me?â #BeenthereDoneThat
Comparison - division - is just Fear in a new outfit.Â
The ego looooooves to make ourselves appear âseparateâ from one another - divided.
As if she can have it, but I canât.
Or it works for them, those people, out there, but not for you.
Look...
Whenever you doubt or catch fear clutching you by the throat again about your future, or your success...
Cheer on someone elseâs success.Â
Seriously, wish them well in ALL the ways from the depths of your soul.
Celebrate TF out of what they have accomplished and as you do, train your brain to know this by heart...
âI can have/do ____________ too.â
This trains your subconscious mind to recognize that that GOAL, that dream, that thing you are working towards us CLOSE...itâs so fucking close.Â
I literally did this at a Grace Lever event last yea...
The number one thing most of my clients come to me for is not to build their business or boost their productivity.
Ultimately...
Itâs to have FREEDOM.
Freedom inside their empire...
...Instead of being a slave to their laptop.
...Instead of being beholden to some other boss.
...Instead of being trapped in their mind of frustration, guilt, anger, and all the âshouldsâ other people have projected onto them.Â
Most people are just looking for freedom in all the wrong places.
They look for it out there -Â
Maybe if I just do this new diet or new marketing strategy, THEN, Iâll get freedom in my business.Â
Maybe if I just have THAT car or THAT bag or that thing, then Iâll get freedom through other peopleâs approval of how cool I am.Â
Maybe if I just get MORE words of affirmation, MORE validation from others that my work is valid, real, true, THEN, I will feel free.Â
Maybe if I just get more sales or make more money, or get a raise for a new job, THEN, I will be able to BUY free
...Ever think "I should have more followers?"â Or, âI should have more people on my list?â Or, âI should be making more money in my business?â
Then you may also be experiencing feelings ofâŠ
Overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, resentment, holding back tears, or screams, or rails at the high heavens for why are they so much farther along than you.
Listen...
Should-ing is soul-sucking.â â
If youâre stuck in comparison, beating yourself up for not being where you "should" be vs. where you are, showing up on social media...and, heck, just building a business can SUCK.â
Should-ing anything is contractive energy that ain't nobody got time for. â
Least of all you. And especially not your customers.Â
Everything is energy, after all.Â
And we feel it when you're putting on a show or trying to be like someone else, or posting with a đ©ton of "shoulds."
Your audience is smart. Like you.
And we KNOW, even when we canât put our finger on it when showing up is just a should instead of a service.Â
...Personal development 101, psychoanalysis, neuroscience - all require looking inward. You see it all over the interwebs, influencers are citing positive inspirational, reflective quotes, things to make you think.
But is it just more shit to consume or is it, Soul?
Messaging requires you to message - to put your message out there. To share and serve with whatever message comes through.
Youâre not looking inward when youâre looking outward for likes, followers, or for people to be dazzled by your insight.
Thatâs pride.Â
You cannot serve two masters.Â
Itâs your mission and message.
Or itâs other peopleâs approval of what you say/do/think.
There is no grey zone.Â
Itâs either inward or outward. Otherwise, you get cross-eyed.Â
Divine downloads, creation, messages, ideas come THROUGH you, for you and for the service of your world.
Youâre either serving with those insights or having those likes serve your ego. Â
When does lo...
It's not perfect, this journey.Â
There are moments worthy of puffy eyes, release, pain, struggle, triumph, challenge, championship, figuring it out, and all the above combined into the span of 90 seconds sometimes.
But it is in those moments of crashing, burning, finding, releasing, allowing that allows for all the pieces to come together.Â
Breathe.Â
Keep going.
You got this, puffy eyes or not.Â
You donât have to put it out in the world - but perfect doesnât sell and it PAYS to be human.
As Captain Marvel shows us, the benefit of being human is that we have forged an unshakable resilience to get back up again...
And again...
And again...
And again...
And every time we stand up, FOR ourselves, FOR something greater than use, FOR love, FOR more...
You strengthen the resilience within us, which, when forged, exercised in the throws of "too much," stress, overwhelm, pain, struggle, choice, choosing, and redeciding, recommitting to that vision.Â
You see more of who you are beco...
âOnce I get my degree, then Iâll start my Youtube channel and posting more on social media.â
Ah, the great If/Then Syndrome, oh I was ready to tackle this one with my Revolutionary Empire Builder head-on.
âIâm curious, how have you been able to get your degree?â
âWell...I studied and practiced.â
Putting content out there on the interwebs is the same thing - it too is a muscle the needs to be strengthened, toned, worked on.
All social media profiles were flabby, small, and weak at one point too.
Those that have grown have grown because the leader chose to strengthen them.â
All the things you want to create in this world take disciplined work.
Notice I didnât say HARD.
I said DISCIPLINED.
It is a practice, like going to the gym.Â
And when youâre at the gym, as you go, more and more and more, it starts getting easier and easier.
But, the first practice yo...
Ever have that one thing that keeps recurring in your life every time you feel like youâre leveling up?Â
For me, itâs around rejection. I have had to do a lot of healing around people leaving.
Iâd reject parts of me - the silly, the weird, the dramatic, the ultra-girly, the ballerina -Â or parts that I thought would allow me to fit in, only to be rejected.Â
I thought I was the weird kid growing up - that it was something I did.
But really, I was just mirroring my own rejection of myself in others.Â
Rejecting the shame of trying to fit in, when really, Iâve always known I was different.Â
Rejecting the guilt for not trusting that I was enough.
People are our mirrors.Â
When you try to hide from people, burying yourself in processes, or work or studies, or other stuff that itâs easy to hide insi...
I know pretty much nothing about art. Other than a half a semester of art history in high school, where basically my only takeaway was understanding the difference between Baroque and Rococo because of that joke Cogsworth makes in Beauty and the Beast, I am pretty much lost in the art world.Â
I love impressionists - yeah, all the stuff you donât need contacts for and requires a hint of imagination and feeling, thatâs my jam.
Thereâs a vibe you get when you stand a foot away from one, where you feel the passion in the brushstrokes. You can sense the feeling in the globs of color, and swipes of the brush.Â
Back in the Impressionist Era, there were a lot of people doing blurry paintings with pretty colors.
Van Gogh.
Monet.Â
Manet.Â
Degas.
It got me wonderingâŠ
How many impressionists thought their market was oversaturated?
How many painters didnât believe in their art because someone else was âalready doing it?â
Markets can easily fee...
âWhy did you want to become an entrepreneur?â I asked.Â
âFreedom,â my client said to me.Â
Iâve been working with high-achieving entrepreneurs and creators for four years now, and there is one reason, bar none, why someone is crazy enough to venture into the world of entrepreneurship, to create a business and life on their terms.
FREEDOM.
Freedom financially.
Freedom to travel the world.
Freedom to have a business that supports that.
Then why is it that so many entrepreneurs box themselves into the very cages they looked to escape from?
They brag about barely sleeping.
They wear busyness like itâs a badge of honor.
Is that freedom?
To work away 10 hours a day behind your computer, suffering at doing all the things, and yet barely making traction?
To miss out on time with your kids so you c...
I was watching a documentary on Freud as I had my lunch. It was a day when Decky was in Pre-K and Spike was at the gym, so I could watch what others would call in my house âboring docuseriesâ or things that arenât really appropriate for a three-year-old.Â
Freudâs influence on modern culture is undeniable - from how we think about sex to how we think about ourselves.Â
And while Iâm more of a Jungian gal myself, when you think of psychoanalysis, itâs Freud who culturally first comes to mind.Â
But, on the show, it was hypothesized Freudâs work was in part the catalyst to spark our current culture of narcissism filled with selfies, look-at-me-posting, and pictures of lunches.Â
As someone who uses selfies in much of my work and my business, and who shares regularly, openly about my life...
It got me thinking...
What makes a personal brand (aka a business) different than a narcissist?
And suddenly, it became very clear.Â
Again, as always, it comes down ...
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