I used to be habit-obsessed. And, no I don’t mean I was obsessed with nuns, even though I did go to a Catholic school. I was obsessed with having PERFECT habits. Impeccable. Immutable. Consistent AF Habits. 

I’d write them all down in my color-coded pens in my planner, in proper Virgo, Type A style, each one to match the seventeen new habits that I was going to master in that year. If they needed file folders for tracking those habits, those habits would be color-coded and folded away in proper, borderline-OCD style. I was sixteen, obsessed with being perfect, bulimic, and beating my brains against the check-mark standards of habit perfection. To-do. Done. To-Do. Not done. Bad. Bad girl. Kim! To-do: Done. Good girl. You deserve a reward. 

The problem was - the habits I was doing were all surface.

Habits are the results of the thoughts you think, the feelings you feel, and, most importantly the BELIEFS that you hold to be true.

Back then I had some pretty crappy...

“I don’t know,” my client said to me.

My private clients know all too well that I NEVER accept that answer. Why? It blocks you off from knowing. It commands your subconscious mind to do exactly what you are commanding it to do - not know. It’s a statement that cuts you off from possibility. 

THUS, AS A WARRIOR FOR POSSIBILITY, I FIGHT “I DON’T KNOW” WITH FULL SOUND AND FURY IN MY SESSIONS. 

“What if you did know?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” I could tell we were in a loop.

“What would this situation look like if you looked through the lenses of trust and imagination, rather than your past programming?”

BOOM. BREAKTHROUGH. 

The dam broke and the flood of ideas, inspiration, new possibilities was open.

WHAT IF YOU LIVED FROM A PLACE OF COURAGE AND FAITH RATHER THAN NEEDING TO “KNOW” THE EXACT NEXT STEP AND PERFECT PLAN TO SORT OUT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE?

Here’s the thing...

You are the fire. The all-consuming, everlasting, eternal flame.

You cook up creations, businesses, opportunities, relationships that would be cold and stale if it wasn't for you.

You illuminate the sky.

You shine brightly.

SOME ARE DAZZLED BY YOUR MAGNIFICENCE.

Others fear it because they don't understand it. They're scared to get close to it. They don't know how to "handle" it.

Like you could ever be "handled," reigned in, toned down - hardly.

“I don’t do lines.”

My then-boyfriend looked at me astonished. We were at this swanky club in Santa Barbara and there was a line outside the door of schoolies.

My then man - possibly the reason why he was a then and not a now - was prepared to head to the back of the line like cattle and wait his turn, for permission, for whatever...

I was not.

I walked straight up to the security guard told him I was there to see a client of mine - all true. Flashed him a smile, maybe even a wink, and he pulled back that velvet rope and let us in. 

I saw a couple of the mouths of the schoolies stare perplexed, in awe, aghast that this woman could be so bold. 

My then man looked at me under the hum of the neon lights stunned.

I TURNED, “I DON’T DO LINES.”

Un-freaking-apologetic. Cool   as cucumber water on a hot summer day. And confident AF. Queenly, some might say. 

It was at that moment I claimed a piece of me.

I WASN’T ABOUT TO LIE...

“You are so fearless. I just so admire what you did - I mean, just choosing to stay in Australia! That’s so brave. I see myself doing that.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was wrapping up a session with one of my private clients and this was what she said. 

It was then that it hit me.

PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.

They are watching what you do.

They are watching how you respond.

They are watching how you show up or don’t.

They are watching who you are.

They are watching your choices.

Your life is a testimony to what’s possible.

For many of my clients, us making the decision to stay in Australia and extend our visa for the foreseeable year showed EVERYTHING they desire…

THE FREEDOM TO GO WHERE YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT.

The freedom to travel.

The courage to do that.

The fearlessness to defy other people’s fears of what a “normal” life looks like and instead…

JUST. FREAKING. DO. IT.

But it’s not only your clients who are...

I’ll admit, I was scared to do this. 

I was scared to become a Pilates instructor.

I was scared to write my first screenplay.

I was scared to leave my ex. 

I was scared to go out on my own and have my own private studio.

I was scared to find love where I had to be raw, and real, and honest, and authentic.

I was scared to be raw and real, and honest, and authentic. 

I was scared to walk down the aisle and marry Spike. 

I was scared to grow my business.

I was scared to stage my dad’s intervention.

I was scared to become a mom.

I was scared to give birth. 

I was scared to ask for help with Declan.

I was scared to send my dad to rehab.

I was scared to stay in the Gold Coast of Australia during a worldwide pandemic.

I WAS SCARED THROUGH ALL OF IT. AND I DID IT ANYWAY. 

Because for ALL of it - and I mean, ALL of it - I had that scared that is like butterflies flying around in your stomach kind of scared.

And that’s why I knew it was...

WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY PEOPLE STRUGGLE AND SUFFER FROM SHOULDING THEMSELVES?

Where they should be.

What they should be doing.

How much they should be making.

Why they should be farther along by now.

Here’s the thing, I’ve noticed with working for high achieving visionary leaders for the past 4 years now…

THE MORE YOU SHOULD YOURSELF, THE MORE YOU’RE STUCK IN THE SHOULD INSTEAD OF ENJOYING WHAT IS.

YOU’RE NOT WHERE YOU “SHOULD” BE BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT THERE. #SORRYNOTSORRY

You’re right where you SHOULD be right now because that is where you are. 

That’s not to say that you can’t or won’t or will never get there.

Wherever “there” is - that mystical magical place where everything is right as rain. Or is it?

Because when you can’t be where you ARE now, what makes you think that you’ll be able to be where you ARE when you’re “THERE?”

The time is now to stop SHOULDing...

Freedom. I’ve been meditating a lot on what it means to be free. What is freedom? 

FREEDOM IS MANY THINGS, AND LIKE EVERY OTHER WORD, IT HAS VERY DIFFERENT MEANINGS TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON.

For some, they feel freedom when they feel safe. Others, feel freedom when they can make their own choices. For others, it’s the ability to do what they want, whatever they want,  when they want, with whom they want, to whom they want, which can spiral into anarchy or absence of government beyond one’s own personal ability to govern themselves. 

It’s a noun.

It’s a value.

It’s a behavioral state.

It’s “openness” in the archaic definition.

Sigmund Freud said, “Most people do not want freedom, because freedom assumes responsibility and most people are afraid of that responsibility.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.” 

And, probably my...

Feeling the feels of scarcity these past few weeks? I have. 

We’ve been going for a BIG goal, like a massive leap goal and in the thick of it, I feel like...I...just...keep...miss-ing. The. be-at. 

It feels like frustration, anger, impatience, annoyance.

And I’ve realized that I need to give myself permission to just freaking be in it. Like REALLY in it.

Still working. But also fully surrendering. 

The week before I manifested my husband, I scribbled prolifically in my journal prayers to the high heavens of “SHOW ME” + “GIVE ME A SIGN.”

And the sign was just effing surrender. 

Stop trying to control and go back to your values.

When I was driving to this networking event, everything in the two hours prior had said, “Nah, just skip it.”

My friend bailed on coming with me.

I was fresh out of the Pilates studio and had to take a whore’s bath to spruce up and look halfway decent.

I would be driving across town in...