The Dark Side of Being Professional: Why You’re Getting Ignored

Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)

Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)

Have you ever watched someone else receive the opportunity, recognition, or success you wanted—and quietly thought, But I’m more qualified than they are?

That moment reveals an uncomfortable truth: the world does not automatically reward hidden excellence. It rewards remembered excellence.

In this episode of the Crown Yourself Podcast, Kimberly Spencer explores why extraordinarily talented entrepreneurs and leaders are often overlooked—and why invisibility is rarely an expertise problem. More often, it comes from unclear positioning, inconsistent communication, perfectionism, or a subconscious fear of being fully seen.

You’ll discover how your nervous system may be choosing safety over visibility by encouraging you to blend in, water down your message, overexplain your ideas, or wait until everything is perfect. Kimberly also shares a counterintuitive practice for normalizing criticism, rejection, and the discomfort that accompanies your next level of exposure.

This conversation challenges you to stop hiding behind credentials and start turning your experience into memorable stories that demonstrate real transformation. You’ll learn why authority is created through original perspectives, clear convictions, tangible results, and the courage to enter the arena—not through résumés, certifications, follower counts, or borrowed trends.

If your expertise is exceptional but the right people still don’t know your name, this episode will help you build authentic authority, strengthen your positioning, and communicate your value with sovereign confidence.

It’s time to stop waiting for your work to speak for itself. Become the leader willing to speak for the work—and make your excellence impossible to overlook.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why the world rewards remembered excellence, not hidden expertise.
• How unclear positioning and inconsistent communication cause extraordinary leaders to be overlooked.
• Why your nervous system may choose safety over visibility—and encourage you to shrink, overexplain, or dilute your message.
• How to normalize criticism and prepare your subconscious mind for greater exposure.
• Why trying to be liked by everyone weakens your authority.
• How to transform credentials and accomplishments into memorable, relatable stories.
• Why confidence follows action—and how taking imperfect action gives you the data you need to grow.
• How trend-chasing can shift you from leadership into followership.
• How to communicate original perspectives and strong convictions without sacrificing your integrity.
• What it takes to become known, trusted, and impossible to ignore in your industry.

*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on YouTube here.

Before we dive in, boundaries are everything to protecting your energy and your empire, so please note some legal boundaries before we dive into the full episode transcript:

Crown Yourself LLC and Kimberly Spencer own the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of the Crown Yourself podcast, with all rights reserved, as well as outright publicity.

WHAT YOU’RE WELCOME TO DO: You are welcome to share the below transcript (up to 500 words but not more) in media articles (e.g., Forbes, The New York Times, CNBC The Guardian), on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post (e.g., Medium), and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, provided that you include attribution to the “Crown Yourself Podcast” and link back to crownyoutself.com/podcast URL

For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above release.

WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED: No one is authorized to copy any portion of the podcast content or use Kimberly Spencer’s name, image or likeness for any commercial purpose or use, including without limitation inclusion in any books, e-books, book summaries or synopses, or on a commercial website or social media site (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that offers or promotes your or another’s products or services, except without explicit consent in writing, from Crown Yourself LLC. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Kimberly Spencer from the Media Room at crownyourself.com/media or (obviously) licensed photos of Kimberly Spencer from Getty Images, etc.

We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.

___________

Why You’re Getting Ignored: How to Build Authentic Authority and Become Impossible to Overlook

Crown Yourself® Podcast — Episode 320 | Kimberly Spencer

Kimberly’s Key Takeaways

“The world does not reward hidden excellence. It rewards remembered excellence.”

“Being overlooked is usually a sign of unclear positioning, inconsistent communication, or quite frankly, a reluctance to be seen.”

“You get data from doing. You don’t get data from sitting on the sidelines.”

“Trendsetters are trendsetters for a reason. They set the trends. They don’t follow the trends.”

Full Episode Transcript

Why You’re Getting Ignored—Even When You’re More Qualified

[00:20.046]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

Have you ever looked around and wondered how did they get that opportunity? How did they make that happen? I'm more qualified. I'm better than them at what I do. Why does everyone remember them? Why are they having the success that they're having?

It's a hard one, but we're today we're diving into that uncomfortable truth. Hi, I'm Kimberly Spencer. I have been coaching and leading. Hi, six and seven figure six. Hi, I'm Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself. I have been coaching and leading. Hi, hi, I'm Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself, and I have been coaching and leading six, seven, and eight figure founders in up

The Invisible Ceilings Blocking Your Next Level of Growth

[01:09.952]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

in breaking through the invisible ceilings subconsciously that are blocking their next level of growth in their mindset and in their business.

Hidden Excellence vs. Remembered Excellence

[01:22.316]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

And one of the biggest blocks to growth can be visibility. And it sucks when you're a person of integrity, And you are a person of integrity, and you're like, you don't, you have been taught a belief system around be humble, don't brag, don't show off. And yet your skill set is far superior to the ones who are showing off. So here's the uncomfortable truth. Success

isn't just

about becoming unforgettable. It's about becoming known.

The world does not reward hidden excellence. It rewards remembered excellence. Today we're talking about the psychology. Welcome to the Crown Yourself Podcast. Today we are talking about the psychology, the communication habits, the subconscious patterns that determine whether that determine whether people remember you or not. By the end of this episode, you will understand why people overlook.

extraordinary leaders and how to build authentic authority.

Build Authentic Authority That Makes the Right People Remember You

[02:44.6]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

By the end of this episode, you will understand how to By the end of this episode, you will understand why people overlook extraordinary authority and how to build authentic authority that makes the right people remember you. After all, popularity does not necessarily equal profitability.

After all, followers does not necessarily equal profit or cash or revenue in your business. You can't pay your bills with followers. You can pay your bills with customers.

Why You’re Getting Ignored: Invisibility Is Rarely a Talent Problem

[03:22.018]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

Having coach leaders for now, Having coached leaders at five, six, seven, eight, and even one billion dollar founder, I have seen and noticed that invisibility is rarely a talent problem. It's actually an underlying belief system that is keeping you stuck. Most entrepreneurs who have built at at least the six, if not seven, figure level, you are already operating in the top 10 per 10 to 12% of business owners

worldwide. That's phenomenal. That means you're not lacking necessarily an expertise or in knowledge. And you are doing the taking the actions to apply your knowledge to move the needle. But what you may be lacking is memorability.

Unclear Positioning and Inconsistent Communication Dilute Your Message

[04:12.236]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

Being overlooked is usually a sign of unclear positioning, inconsistent communication, or quite frankly, a reluctance to be seen. A lot of times I have seen founders, for example, I have one client and he is incredibly skilled at what he does. Like one of the best, most highest trained in his industry. He should be up there with the best of the best of the industry. Other people in his industry are getting

wildly recognized for their skill sets and talents. And they also got a bit of an ego. And they also got a bit of showmanship to it. He's super humble and lets his work speak for itself. He lets his outcome speak for itself. But the problem is he delegated his marketing to another person. He outsourced his power of communication to someone else. Well, and while this person is great at social media for their own needs,

they're not necessarily a fit for the positioning of the level of the brand that he needs to be at in order to be seen and impossible to ignore.

So when we assessed his brand, it was because of unclear positioning, inconsistent communication, sporadic posting. We didn't know whether he was high-level in his business or a dad or over here doing a hobby. There were multiple brands playing into the mixture at once. And now I understand. Believe me, I have heard it said, you know, how much of my life should I fully show?

How much should I show on social media? Show what needs to be seen for growing your business, for aligning with positioning. But if you're just posting to post without any higher level strategy, you are diluting your message.

Your Brain Wants Safety, Not Visibility

[06:13.506]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

The second bottleneck to becoming impossible to ignore is that your brain wants safety, not visibility. Being visible means there's a reason why more people fear public speaking than debt. It's because being visible can put a target on your back. You can get haters. There is The fear of rejection is biologically real. It is a built-in fear that we have from

Biology from back in Yi O caveman days, when if we were left out of the tribe, we could die. So the fear of being visible, of standing out, it goes against belong, which means that we need to really rally those people around us, whether it's a coach or a community or a mastermind or a group of people

that supports you in that next level of visibility so that it normalizes it. Because your subconscious mind will always go toward what's familiar. So it's it's wanting to go toward what's normal. So you want to open up to normalizing exposure. And here's one of my very favorite kind of counterintuitive ways to do this. I either will go on YouTube

or I will watch a show like I just watched the American Sweethearts Season Three that really dove into the challenges of social media and how the Dallas Cowgirl cheerleaders are so harshly judged by people who are not even in the arena. And I'm watching this show as a former dancer, not at the level of the Dallas Cowgirl cheerleaders. I call them cowgirl cheerleaders because that's all like I'm I don't know football, but Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, I guess.

that I I I wasn't at that level, but as a former dancer and like I trained heavily and what they're doing is insane. It's amazing the the the depth and w amount of work that these girls put the amount of work that these women put into their craft is phenomenal. It's pro-athlete level and

Enter the Arena and Normalize Exposure

[08:32.034]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

there are people sitting on the sidelines judging them for how high their kicks are or how in sync their dance moves are. I'm like, you try getting into the arena. It reminds me of the Teddy Roosevelt quote, the man in the arena. That the reward, and I'm totally paraphrasing it here, but the reward doesn't go to the critic, to the one who doesn't have the audacity to even get into the arena.

The reward goes to the one who chooses to get in the arena and get bloodied and get messed up and get and actually have some sort of risk. There is no risk in a hater rage posting online, like to that person. There's no risk. People will say horrible things online that if they came up to you in in person and said them to your face, they would get knocked out.

And I'm not I'm not saying resort to physical violence, but most people what they say online, they would never share to your face. They don't have the courage. And so a great way that I like to expose my subconscious mind to like normalize an awareness of there are people on the internet who may not want to see you succeed, who may be judgy mcjudgersons,

allowing your subconscious mind to be exposed to that and letting it know that you can survive watching it. Because here's the other thing about your subconscious mind: your subconscious mind will take everything personally. So even if it's you're seeing it be about someone else, it'll take it as you. So your subconscious mind watching this will learn, my gosh, this person on the interweb is doing a YouTube video about this other coach or program or a Reddit thread or whatever. Reddit's just, my goodness.

but is doing a post about that, I'm gonna read through, okay, wow, that's a lot of vitrol. Okay, wow, that's a lot of that's a lot of just nastiness, wow, that's a lot of negativity. And just reading through it and exposing yourself and saying, wow, I survived it. I survived it. I'm not saying buy into your own press. I'm not saying lean into it. I'm not even saying contribute to it. I'm saying expose your subconscious mind to let it know that you can survive it.

How to Survive Criticism at Your Next Level of Visibility

[10:51.222]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

And whether that's be looking at a Reddit thread or looking at trust pilot reviews, like, can you survive a bad review? Can your business survive a bad review? Like looking at those reviews, looking at how could I survive this? How can I, How can I live through this? Because as you grow, you're not gonna satisfy everyone. You're not. And people will judge you and you will make mistakes. Cause welcome to life. And they will think you're either too much, they may think you're not enough. They, they, They will

shift. But allowing yourself to be exposed to that shift can prepare your subconscious mind to let it know that it's going to survive your next level of visibility.

Stop Blending In and Watering Down Your Message

[11:33.315]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

Because right now your nervous system is wanting you to blend in, overexplain, wait until it's perfect, shrink your options, water down your message, make it more appealing to everyone. Don't be so divisive, don't be so polarizing. And I'm not saying be divisive to be divisive. I'm saying taking a strong authoritative stance. People lead because of authority. And because you assert authority. Authority is something that you assert, it is your masculine

energy in the law of polarity that shows up as assertive. Typically, especially for women, studies show that when women show up as more assertive, they can be labeled a bitch. They can be labeled in other ways than a man typically wouldn't. But at the same time, do you want to let that stop you? I personally don't.

Memorable People Aren’t for Everyone

[12:28.654]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

So if you're trying to be liked by everyone, memorable people aren't pol

Stop Hiding Behind Your Credentials

[12:39.8]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

The third way that I see people hide is they hide behind their credentials.

Storify Your Credentials to Create Relatability and Trust

[12:47.212]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

You see, the problem is getting like I am a certification junkie. I love getting certified and learning new things. And at the same time, certifications do not create authority. They can heighten the perception of authority, like what school you go to or who you trained under, or your mentors. They can enhance the perception of authority, but they don't create authority in and of themselves.

What creates authority is the transformation and the outcomes and the result that you provide for someone else. So people remember stories. They remember how you impacted them. They And we connect on a visceral level with stories. We don't connect with a resume. Like a resume is nice, but it's like, okay, well, what does this actually mean? How does this actually play out? So when you think of your resume of all the things that you've done and accomplished,

how can you integrate those into stories that people can relate to? Maybe you were mentored under some amazing person in your industry, and you share that in this vein of a story where you were intimidated initially, maybe going into this mentorship. And then you learn these valuable skill sets that then you can share. Well, that story has now positioned you with brand association to the person you were mentored by. It has created story which creates

relatability with your audience and it creates buy-in to your skill set because of the brand association. So stop hiding behind the credentials. Start storyifying, we're gonna make up a new word here, storifying your credentials.

From Credentials to Courage

[14:32.942]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

Thirdly,

Stop Waiting Until You’re Ready

[14:41.826]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

the fifth way to become impossible to ignore is to stop waiting until you're ready. Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. Confidence will never come first. Putting yourself out there just doing the damn testing, trying, and seeing how it how it plays out, that's gonna play. I was on a coaching call yesterday with a client, and we came up with an amazingly fun marketing strategy and connection strategy to blend as two businesses. And

he was really, really excited about it. And then he asked me, he's like, "Well, should I post this on like other platforms?" And I was like, "I'm not God." Like He's like, "Well, I which platform is it gonna perform best on?" I was like, "I don't know." Transparently, I don't know. I said, the only way you will know is if you do it. Is if you put it out there and the data will reflect back to you which algor which algorithm is picking it up. Is it TikTok? Is it LinkedIn? Is it YouTube? Is it

Is it Instagram? Is it Facebook? Which one is getting the most plays? Which one is getting the most engagement? You'll know by doing. You get data from doing. You don't get data from sitting on the sidelines and like pontificating it the the potentiality of will this perform or will this won't? You get data by doing.

You Get Data by Doing

[16:01.325]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

The other

Stop Chasing Trends and Lead with Original Perspective

[16:05.9]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

And lastly, if you want to become impossible to ignore, stop chasing trends. Stop chasing the trends. Trendsetters are trendsetters for a reason. They set the trends. They don't follow the trends. You following every single dang trend on TikTok to try to mimic it, that's not building authority. That's that's creating mimicry.

Authority is built from original perspective. That doesn't mean that you can't see a trend and be like, I really like this. This looks fun. But there's a difference from, this trend is happening. I need to jump on this because that means my my TikTok or my Instagram is going to pop off. No, not necessarily. That means that you're jumping on a bandwagon. You've become a follower, not an authority who's a leader. So you can jump on bandwagons if it feels fun to you, if it's coming from a place of pleasure, of desire, of joy, of

"This looks fun." Rather than, I need to do this. When it comes from need, it's always coming from scarcity. And when it comes from scarcity, then it's becoming, then you're in the followership seat, not a leader seat. Because a true leader leading from abundance and consciousness, you are leading from a space of owned authority, from your original perspective, from being able to shift paradigms. So if you love this

video and you're like, my gosh, I need more. I need to know how to become known in my industry. I have a skill set and a mastery level that's up here, but people still don't know who I am. And they're buying from other people that is not me that don't have this level of expertise and authority, Then you need to click down below and jump into our masterclass known, where we will make you go from being

Make Your Expertise Impossible to Overlook with KNOWN

[18:41.472]

Kimberly Spencer (host):

Inside of known, we make your expertise impossible to overlook. And for just $27, it's a pretty great way to just jump. We're gonna cut that. you need to jump into known where we make your expertise impossible to overlook. You stop leading from survival, and you're able to articulate your convictions with clarity, position your expertise so that people can trust you before they even get on a conversation with you,

move people through with your communication and build a business that scales beyond your constant presence. If you're like, my gosh, I want to become impossible to ignore, click below and jump into known. And with that, as always, my fellow sovereigns, own your throne, mind your business, because your reign is now.

The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far,  out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.