Facing Your Darkness to Shine Brighter
Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)
There’s a version of leadership no one talks about—the kind forged in the quiet, unseen moments when you’re holding life… and facing your own darkness at the same time.
This Friday audio-only Crown Yourself episode is a raw, intimate transmission for the mothers, leaders, and sovereign women who have walked through postpartum anxiety, depression, or emotional depths they never expected—and wondered what it means about them.
In this episode, I share my lived experience navigating postpartum darkness across three births, dismantling the illusion that strength looks like perfection. Drawing from the Law of Polarity, human design, conscious leadership, and the spiritual initiation of motherhood, I reveal a powerful reframe: the depth of your darkness is a direct measure of your capacity for light.
Motherhood is not weakness—it is elite-level resilience. The pressure of birth, the responsibility of sustaining life, and the psychological shifts afterward mirror the training of high-performance leaders and warriors. And yet, women are rarely told that this darkness is not a flaw—it is an initiation.
This conversation is not medical advice. It is a sovereign perspective shift. A reminder that your depth is your gift. That your story is alchemy. And that your ability to sit with shadow is precisely what qualifies you to lead, illuminate, and rise.
If you’ve ever felt afraid of your own thoughts… this episode will meet you with truth, compassion, and power.
As always, my fellow sovereigns—own your throne. Your reign is now.
*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on YouTube here.
Before we dive in, boundaries are everything to protecting your energy and your empire, so please note some legal boundaries before we dive into the full episode transcript:
Crown Yourself LLC and Kimberly Spencer own the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of the Crown Yourself podcast, with all rights reserved, as well as outright publicity.
WHAT YOU’RE WELCOME TO DO: You are welcome to share the below transcript (up to 500 words but not more) in media articles (e.g., Forbes, The New York Times, CNBC The Guardian), on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post (e.g., Medium), and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, provided that you include attribution to the “Crown Yourself Podcast” and link back to crownyoutself.com/podcast URL
For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above release.
WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED: No one is authorized to copy any portion of the podcast content or use Kimberly Spencer’s name, image or likeness for any commercial purpose or use, including without limitation inclusion in any books, e-books, book summaries or synopses, or on a commercial website or social media site (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that offers or promotes your or another’s products or services, except without explicit consent in writing, from Crown Yourself LLC. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Kimberly Spencer from the Media Room at crownyourself.com/media or (obviously) licensed photos of Kimberly Spencer from Getty Images, etc.
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Facing Your Darkness to Shine Brighter
A Crown Yourself Podcast – Audio Only (Friday Edition)
[00:00] Welcome to the Friday Audio-Only Crown Yourself Episode
Kimberly Spencer (host):
Hello and welcome back to the Crown Yourself podcast, the special Friday only listener only, audio only OG podcasters who I not like watching this on YouTube. As much as I love my YouTube, this is for the OG fans and I just wanted to bring this podcast to you in a very real moment.
And I say this because I have been put on a pedestal a lot. Maybe that is as a 5/1 projector, maybe that is just as a leader. And so typically with the five one projector and human design, there’s a leader element to it.
But there’s also this element of—I can be very misunderstood. I can be misquoted. People can see too much truth in themselves through my own projection, and it scares them. And I’m not for everybody.
[03:30] Leadership, Intensity, and the Capacity to Hold Darkness and Light
Kimberly Spencer (host):
I think that that’s the thing. I am naturally an intense person, and people who are not ready for that level of intensity don’t really stay in my world very long.
But it’s also an intensity that comes from being able to have the capacity to hold the dark with the light.
Now, I’ve been open to some degree on social media and whatnot about going through postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety.
[06:00] Postpartum Depression Isn’t Always Immediate—and That Matters
Kimberly Spencer (host):
I am that weird person who is—I didn’t know this. I’m now on my third child and I never had any midwife, and I’ve worked with all holistic practitioners.
But it wasn’t until my last child that my midwife said, “Oh! Studies show that women can experience postpartum depression and anxiety 12 weeks—12 to 16 weeks—after.”
In fact, a good majority of women do.
However, our medical system—be it what it is—supports women for the first six weeks. And if it doesn’t show up within the first six weeks, well then it must not be postpartum.
[09:30] Bringing Light to Mothers Who Have Silently Struggled
Kimberly Spencer (host):
This is not to go off on a tangent on the medical system or postpartum care or maternal care in the United States or in the world, quite frankly.
This is to bring light to the mothers who have silently struggled.
I know that when my postpartum hit in both my previous childbearing, child-rearing experiences, it was dark. And it was hard. Especially with my first—it was hard.
I had the holy trinity of all the things.
[12:00] Postpartum Depression as an Initiation
Kimberly Spencer (host):
It was an initiation. And the spiritual side of postpartum was not fully taught.
And in that space, I saw that my head can go to some dark places. Dark places—never at the danger of my children—but at the danger of myself.
I have been in many situations in my life where I have had depression and suicidal ideations, and I have learned to navigate that voice.
And knowing that that is present—and can be present.
[15:00] The Law of Polarity and Postpartum Depression
Kimberly Spencer (host):
If you have ever been there—in that space of such darkness—the Law of Polarity fully applies.
The Law of Polarity is one of the laws of the universe. It states that with the amount of darkness, there is light.
Our brains are wired to focus on the darkness—what we fear, what we need to avoid—in order to survive.
However, the Law of Polarity means that because there is that much darkness, whatever you see that is dark means that you actually have the capacity to hold that much light.
[18:00] High-Performance Resilience: Motherhood and Mental Strength
Kimberly Spencer (host):
I wasn’t until I was listening to a podcast with David Goggins on the Andrew Huberman podcast—and I had just recently seen David Goggins speak live at the Aspire conference.
He talked about how he still—so accomplished, ultra endurance athlete, Navy SEAL—still has to navigate darkness.
And then I looked at the power of motherhood.
The pain of childbirth—while I don’t call it pain, I call it pressure—is equivalent to breaking 20 ribs.
And then after that, you are handed a baby and told you are the sole provider to keep this life alive for the next three to six months.
Holy shit. Women are phenomenal.
[22:00] If You’ve Had Dark Thoughts, This Is for You
Kimberly Spencer (host):
If you’ve ever had the dark thoughts, the darkness, the challenges—I hope this podcast encourages you.
Because if you are able to go to the depths of so much darkness, that means you have the capacity to hold so much light.
You have the capacity to illuminate others with your gifts.
Because you’ve been given the gift of depth.
[25:00] Depth as a Gift, Not a Defect
Kimberly Spencer (host):
You’ve been to the bottom and back again.
That means you have a whole range of understanding the human experience on a level that not a lot of people have.
And in that gift of depth, you have the power to bring so much light into this world by leveraging your story as your testimony.
[28:00] From Darkness to Creation
Kimberly Spencer (host):
Even if darkness creeps in on a daily basis from time to time, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your old construct is shedding.
You’re stripping away what no longer serves and allowing the true light of who you were created to be to shine.
[31:00] Key Takeaways on Postpartum Depression & Sovereignty
✨ Takeaways
- Postpartum depression can emerge 12–16 weeks after birth, not just in the first six weeks
- Darkness does not mean something is wrong—it signals depth and capacity
- The Law of Polarity teaches that light exists in equal measure to darkness
- Motherhood is an elite-level initiation, not a weakness
- Your lived experience becomes your leadership and testimony
[33:00] Closing: Own Your Throne
Kimberly Spencer (host):
As always, my fellow sovereigns—own your throne. Mind your business, because your reign is now.
Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and share this with a friend.
That simple act creates a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty.
Go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules.
Because today—you crown yourself.
The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far, out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.
