Built Stronger: Turning Pain Into Power + Reclaiming Your Queendom with Bonnie Strati

What if the pain you’ve endured wasn’t meant to break you — but to make you?

In this deeply heartfelt episode of the Crown Yourself podcast, Kimberly Spencer sits down with Bonnie Strati — a former “hot mess” turned high-performing coach, author, and sovereign leader — to explore what it really means to build yourself back stronger after life knocks you down.

Bonnie’s new book, Built Stronger: The Art of Becoming Whole Again, is part memoir, part medicine, part permission slip to feel the grief, the rage, the disappointment — and still choose to rise. Together, Kimberly and Bonnie dive into how betrayal serves as a mirror for our own healing, why boundaries are sacred acts of self-love, and how we can stop numbing with busyness and start sitting with what needs to be felt.

This conversation is raw, real, and radically empowering. Whether you’re facing a personal initiation, navigating grief, or ready to rewrite your story, Bonnie’s wisdom will inspire you to embrace the mess, honor your emotions, and claim the next level of your queendom.

✨ This episode is a reminder that the beauty is often found on the other side of messy — if you’re willing to walk through it.

👑 Queen, it’s time to step into your strength. Press play now and let this conversation catalyze your next chapter.

Enjoy, sovereigns!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or your favorite podcast listening platform. You can also watch the episode on Youtube.

Built Stronger: Turning Pain Into Power + Reclaiming Your Queendom with Bonnie Strati

Keyword Focus: Turning Pain Into Power | Sovereign Leadership | Emotional Resilience

[00:00] Welcome to the Crown Yourself Podcast

Kimberly Spencer: Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life.

Today, I am thrilled to welcome back a repeat guest, a shining star from the Crown Yourself Coaching program, and now a published author: Bonnie Strati.

[00:54] From Hot Mess to High Performance

Kimberly Spencer: Bonnie started working with me in 2017. Since then, she’s conquered challenges, leveled up her performance, and now — for our Summer Author Series — she’s written and published her first book, Built Stronger: The Art of Becoming Whole Again.

Bonnie Strati: Thanks! I'm so happy to be here with you.

[02:09] Finding Your Voice & Writing the Book

Kimberly Spencer: What has getting your message out there been like?

Bonnie Strati: It’s been a journey — eight years in the making. Writing blogs helped me break through the fear of putting my voice out there. Compiling those years of reflections, trials, and lessons became this book. And when readers tell me they feel seen and less alone — that’s the magic.

[03:33] Turning Pain Into Power: Favorite Quotes

Kimberly Spencer: Some of my favorite quotes from Built Stronger are:

• “Corruption is often divine. I would venture to say that it is divine.”
  
  
• “Rest is romanticized but rarely respected.”
  
  
• “Numbing through busy.”
  
  

These are like power punches of truth. So tell me — what has pissed you off most on your journey to truth?

[05:08] The Cost of Lies & the Freedom of Truth

Bonnie Strati: Probably all the people who have not been truthful with me. Honesty may sting, but it saves you pain in the long run.

Bonnie’s Takeaway: When you speak your truth, you alleviate someone else’s pain — and your own guilt fades.

[06:30] Betrayal as a Mirror

Kimberly Spencer: You write, “Betrayal is about the other person’s inability to live authentically.” How do we take responsibility for our own healing in that?

Bonnie Strati: Everyone is a mirror. Even betrayal is showing you where you need healing. It might not be that you’re doing the same behavior — but something inside you needs to wake up and evolve.

[08:55] Boundaries as Self-Respect

Bonnie Strati: For years, I struggled with boundaries — overextending myself and fearing clients would leave if I said “no.” But every time I enforced a boundary, I realized the fear was in my head.

Bonnie’s Lesson: Boundaries are breathwork for the soul. They create space to serve better, not less.

[11:05] Writing as a Healing Practice

Bonnie Strati: The book was eight years in the making — and a week-long sprint of getting everything out on paper. Writing helped me alchemize grief into gold and turn pain into power.

[13:01] Giving Readers Space to Feel

Bonnie Strati: I added journaling prompts and grounding techniques in the book to give readers a safe space to process their emotions.

[16:25] Book Launch + Life’s Biggest Initiation

Bonnie Strati: I planned my book launch for June 9th — then received a cancer diagnosis. My first treatment was June 10th. But the timing ended up divine: I got to celebrate my book release on an off-treatment week.

Bonnie’s Perspective: Even when life throws challenges, the Universe has your back — trust the timing.

[19:42] The Power Within

Bonnie Strati: The message of my book? You already have the power within you to improve the quality of your life.

[21:27] Sit in the Discomfort

Bonnie Strati: Sometimes I joke I should write a book called How to Sit in Your Sht.* Because that’s where the breakthroughs happen. We try to numb or run away, but when you sit with it, you grow.

[22:00] Busyness vs. Purpose

Kimberly Spencer: Busyness isn’t purpose. Mental clutter is just as draining as an overbooked schedule.

Bonnie Strati: Exactly. Now, I’ve condensed my schedule, eliminated unnecessary stress, and created space for healing — and future creativity.

[25:46] Writing Your Next Chapter

Bonnie Strati: We don’t just rewrite our old story — we author our next chapter. And in that chapter, you get to create a belief system that supports who you’re becoming.

[26:31] Kimberly’s Breakthrough

Kimberly Spencer: Your chapter on grief helped me realize I was still trying to be “the little girl” after my father passed. Reading your book gave me a leadership breakthrough — and reminded me I get to nurture my inner child while raising my daughter.

[29:00] Leaders Need Breakthroughs Too

Kimberly Spencer: Even high performers need space to grow. Your book is a love letter to personal development and a tool for leaders who want to keep evolving.

[33:10] Preparing for Transformation

Bonnie Strati: When I got my diagnosis, the first thought that came to me was: “This was put on my path for a reason.” Every experience — even the hard ones — prepares us for who we are becoming.

[35:05] Finger Painting + Emotional Alchemy

Bonnie Strati: Healing is like finger painting — the first strokes might be messy and angry, but they eventually turn into something beautiful.

Bonnie’s Mantra: The beauty is on the other side of messy.

[37:11] Speaking Your Truth

Bonnie Strati: The biggest perspective shift? I have something worth saying — and my words can be a catalyst for others.

[38:24] Coaches as Catalysts

Kimberly Spencer: Sometimes leaders have to push — and that push can feel uncomfortable for the client, but it’s often the turning point. Breakthroughs are like unlocking a safe: it takes a few turns before it clicks.

[40:29] Rapid-Fire Q&A

• Favorite Female Character: Wonder Woman — powerful and iconic.
  
  
• Trade Places with Anyone: “Me — I’ve come home to myself.”
  
  
• Definition of Success: Peace, contentment, integrity — and serving others well.
  
  
• Queendom: Rebuilding a tribe, reconnecting with people, and welcoming them back with gratitude.
  
  
• How She Crowns Herself: By honoring what she feels, being kind to herself, and staying present.
  
  

[44:07] Closing + Where to Find Bonnie

Bonnie invites listeners to find her online, grab Built Stronger on Amazon, and work through the companion journal.

Kimberly Spencer: Own your throne. Mind your business. Your reign is now.