(#184) The Marathon Mindset: How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Push Through the Finish Line

crown yourself podcast Jul 25, 2023

 

While the rest of the world may be seeing your highlight reel and your smiles and your good side - even if you post about the challenges you’ve faced - no one really knows what you go through.

 

Not really. 

 

…Not unless they are with you day after day watching you put in the miles of hard work, diligence, effort, love, sacrifice, joy, pleasure, and facing your pain, your heart, your challenges, and those moments when you are your most courageous self.

 

Doing hard things.

 

I can't think of a better metaphor for life, business, and our current times, actually, than marathon running.

 

And after 26,2 miles and countless hours of training mid-move, I am honored to finally bring this episode forth to, hopefully, shave a few miles off of your route.

 

Here's a sneak peek into what you can expect:

 

๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผ‍โ™€๏ธThe Marathon Metaphor: I discuss how marathon running serves as a metaphor for taking on challenges and persevering until the finish line. It's about recognizing the daily efforts that others put into themselves, their businesses, relationships, and personal growth.

 

๐Ÿฆ„ The Power of Calculated Risks: Oh…what a story. It involves a traffic jam on the 110 two police officers, and homeless encampments…and that was before the marathon even started. 

 

๐Ÿ“ˆ Outpacing in Business: Discover the parallels between marathon running and personal growth, emphasizing the importance of finding the right community to support your growth.

 

๐Ÿ’•Emotions in Motion: Understanding how emotions present themself through the body and how repressed emotions showed up and processed at mile 1 related to my father's passing.

 

๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ The Importance of a Cheering Squad: Why you need people who show up for you no matter what and how that impacts your performance to the finish line. 

 

I invite you to join me on this journey and listen to the full episode. And thank you in advance for sharing it with just one person who’s facing their own marathon challenge.

 

It's not just about running a marathon; it's about the marathon of life.

 

Remember, you're not alone in your pursuit of difficult goals, and your efforts will be rewarded. 

 

And I am so honored to continue cheering, coaching, and championing you toward them.

*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, and iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on Youtube here.

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We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.

___________

Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)

Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Marathon running is not for the faint of heart. You are selectively choosing to do something that the first guy who ever did it killed him. And then choosing to do that for 26.2 miles, not to mention the other countless amount of miles that you have run behind the scenes that no one else sees. I can't think of a better metaphor for life, business, and our current times, actually, than marathon running, simply because social media makes everything seem like a highlight reel. And when you see people in person, you see their masks or maybe you are seeing the real them, but you and they're showing up smiling and looking amazing and look like they have all their shit figured out. But you are not seeing the daily hours that they are putting in behind the scenes, working on themselves, working on their business, working on their relationships, being a great parent, and consistently day after day, showing up for themselves to meet themselves where they're at so that the race they are in it for the race of their lives.

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:05) - Whether you want to run marathons or not, these lessons are applicable to any challenging situation in your life because I guarantee you there is behind-the-scenes stuff going on that no one else sees but you. And yet it's those moments and the behind-the-scenes when it is you and your creator that your self-worth is crafted. So this podcast episode is for those who are choosing to do hard things, for those who are choosing to take on a challenge consciously or unconsciously and say, All right, whether I chose to do this or it chose me. I am following this through to the finish line and I am crossing that finish line. Hopefully, this podcast will leave you feeling like you are not alone and that this process will be rewarded and you will feel phenomenal when you cross the finish line. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself, and I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer.

Kimberly Spencer (00:02:37) - Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hello. Hello, my fellow Sovereigns and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. I am so excited and honored to be here with you today as always, because we are choosing to create a life business body by our own rules on our own terms, doing as we do, because that is what it means to be sovereign, owning our choices and living in authentic alignment with our highest selves. And speaking of it, I felt like I was living my best life in LA. For a hot minute, like, as you know, we moved from Los Angeles to the outside of Austin, Texas, and best move we could have ever made. Like, we are so excited. We love where we live and two months after we move, I had the mastermind that I'm a part of.

Kimberly Spencer (00:03:56) - Peter Diamandis, a 360 mastermind, was having their annual get-together and I just decided to coincide with this simultaneously to rearrange our Lion King tickets that we were supposed to have in LA in February. But then we moved in January. So moved those into March. Moved the l.a. Marathon. Well, I didn't move the l.a. Marathon, but I chose to run the l.a. Marathon since I didn't run the Disney World marathon that I was planning on running because of moving in January. So I said I still was going to keep my commitment, still was going to run a marathon, still was going to do the dang thing. And oh my lordy, did I resist the training? I was in total resistance mode for a long time until I finally had to like woman up and make the motherfucking decision like full and body decision of like, I am going forth with this. I signed up for this, I committed to this. I'm not backing down again. I started out the marathon. You know, you wake up super early in the morning, so Spike was up.

Kimberly Spencer (00:05:01) - My mom was up. The kids were still asleep. I kissed them goodbye. I got I was all taped up. I freaking look like I like just a patchwork quilt with all my tape, which was a game changer, by the way. Like, get the support that you need. What a lesson. Just the tape alone changed the piriformis pain that I was having for miles. I had none of it. None of it in 26.2 miles. None of it. Thanks to the tape. This is not like I'm not sponsored by them. I just love that brand. And I will leave a link in the show notes because if you are a runner or you want to do any sort of athletic thing and you have any sort of injuries or anything or any sort of pains or issues tape, I am I swear by it. I literally swear by it because it changed the entire way. My body, my entire body mechanics were running. So I got all taped up early morning and I am ready to go.

Kimberly Spencer (00:05:56) - Spike is driving me. I'm just sitting there. I have my coffee. I ate my breakfast because I normally do intermittent fasting. But before you go to a marathon and run 26.2 miles, you might want to eat some something. So I had some avocado toast, some good carbs, healthy fats along with my bulletproof coffee with mushrooms. And I not mushrooms as in psychedelics, like mushrooms as in, you know, lion's mane reishi chaga. Those mushrooms. I use mushroom powder in my coffee every morning. And so we're driving there. And then as we're driving, I'm seeing the traffic. Oh, boy. Like we're good on the traffic until like, about. 30. Like, I'm looking at the traffic around Dodger Stadium, which is where the LA Marathon starts and it is stopped like stopped on the freeway, the 110. It's because they closed off one of the off-ramps to get off the freeway. And so in order to get up onto the mountain. So the way LA is structured, you have to, and the way the freeway is because they close off that off-ramp because there was an accident, the police blocked off the off-ramp completely and the traffic was stopped.

Kimberly Spencer (00:07:08) - And it was saying that it would take about 30 minutes for us to just get up the mountain to the starting point of the marathon. Now, at this point, it was already about 615 marathon, started at 7:00. And I knew that if I was going to finish before they started closing on the roads, I would within my five-and-a-half, six-hour time frame, less than six-hour time frame of for my goal, then I would have to be there promptly at seven. So as we were stopped on the 110 Freeway, I was looking around, and by stopped, I mean parked. There was very, very, very little movement on the freeway period. And I start to I look out my window and I and I know I'm seeing all the runners because they're in their athletic where they've got there, you know, signage on their chests or on their legs. And, you know, some are lacing up their shoes in their car. And I'm looking around and I'm starting to see a few people getting out of their Ubers and walking on the side of the freeway up the hill, like to then go up the off-ramp while walking because off-ramps completely closed and the police have blocked it off.

Kimberly Spencer (00:08:22) - And I am normally like the like I'm not going to say normally like I like to make my own mold. I challenge the rules that don't make sense. And I looked at this, I looked at the time, I looked at my goal and I said, if we wait for for the permission to go like to go, we're not I'm not going to make it on time or it's highly unlikely that I'm going to make it on time along with time because you don't want to just start off running. You want to do a little stretching, a little warm-up like you don't want to start off just like, okay, fresh out of sitting in a car for 45 minutes to then I'm going to run 26.2 miles. Do you want to warm up your body? And I looked at Spike and I saw these, you know, guys getting out of their cars or their Ubers. Not that they weren't leaving their cars on the side. I highly assume making the assumption that it was they were Uber ING and from their conversations of when I got out of the car and chose to walk on the side of the freeway up the on-ramp and getting yelled at, being the only one, by the way, who got yelled at by the police officer.

Kimberly Spencer (00:09:29) - Nobody who didn't yell at anybody else. And I just put my head down and I didn't say anything. And I just, you know, he said, like, what do you think you do? And I'm like, I am just going to do this thing. That is a choice. And I knew that you know, not like I knew I made the calculation and I made the judgment and I said, This is what I'm going to choose to do. I'm not the only one choosing to get out of my Uber and do this. I'm not doing this alone. Like, but at the same time, I also saw there were so many people doing it. And not that, you know, if everyone's jumping off a cliff, like, are you going to jump off too? That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I made a very calculated decision that was in alignment with my goal to break some potential rules and choose to do something that I made a calculated risk assessment and said, I'm choosing to take the risk.

Kimberly Spencer (00:10:33) - So many people did. Does that make it right? Does that make it wrong? We could think in those delineations, but I chose to take the risk to choose to do something that would allow me to achieve the goal. And that was such a powerful lesson. Because as someone who used to be a chronic people pleaser and always wanted to be perfect, always felt like I needed to play by all the rules and follow all the rules. That was such a big embodiment of this next phase of making choices that, yes, as you grow to do anything, you will be taking calculated risks that may go against some current standards, that may challenge certain systems. And choosing to do that because you have this goal in this vision and it's not what's always been done. Is sometimes the right choice for you or the choice that I would say is the effective choice that actually gets you to achieve your goals? And it just comes down to how much risk are you willing to take. And I definitely made the calculated risk assessment of like consequences of ownership of my choice.

Kimberly Spencer (00:11:50) - And I said, I'm choosing to do this. I felt like it was a safe choice because, like I said, completely stopped on the freeway and we pulled over to the farthest of the farthest lane and I got out. And like the many homeless people on the side of the street, just chose to walk and move. And. That was so empowering to the belief system of making conscious choices and to choosing to do something. And so it was with that energy that I started the marathon of this, you know, full-on embracing my Enneagram eight, the challenger of the status quo, the challenger of systems that may be ineffective because like what my question was like, why did you block off the entire intersection and create this massive traffic backup? You could like easily could have moved people off like the accident off to the side. And it's just in that like, this is where I started the marathon from as far as the energy is concerned. And oh my goodness, the lessons that then ensued from thenceforth.

Kimberly Spencer (00:13:09) - Changed my life. Let's go. Well, actually, let me start with this. I'm going to tell you a story because. In 2018, I ran my first marathon after having my first child, Declan. It was a year after giving birth and I thought, Oh my gosh, I've run. I think, How was it, like four marathons, five marathons at that point? No, I think it was four. And I was like, I got this. My body knows what it's doing. I forgot, though, that like, the last marathon that I had run was in 2013. So that was five years and a pregnancy where my body had shifted and changed and evolved. And that marathon hit me in hubris. It punched my pride and beat it down like a little bitch. I barely crossed the finish line. They literally were tearing. The marathon stands down. My dad and my husband were holding up the finish line sign just so I could run under it. Like that's how slow I was going.

Kimberly Spencer (00:14:16) - I went from running a 433 marathon to a 630. That was brutal. Baking in the sun. And oh, not to mention this was a Boston Marathon qualifier. So most of the people were running like a 330 or less. 330 to maybe a four-hour marathon. Meanwhile, I and like the other mama who had just given birth as well, are lagging behind at the sweet 6.5-hour marathon time in the baking hot sun of October on the California coast. And this marathon because it was a smaller marathon, there weren't the cheering crowds of fans of supporters like there are at the L.A. Marathon or other larger marathons. I was literally running past people holding their beer cans because, in this one and this one road between Los Angeles and Santa Barbara in the little in Ventura County, it's where you go and you park your RV and you're like literally on the beach and you go and you park it and you're there for a weekend. So I was there doing this marathon, running past people who were like lackadaisical, strolling out of their RVs with their beer or their mimosa or their wine cooler at like 11 having like the best lifetime of their lives.

Kimberly Spencer (00:15:44) - And meanwhile, I'm there suffering, forcing myself to go through with it because I refuse. Like I have the marathon mindset. And this has been my mantra since ever starting running marathons back in 2011. That run, walk or crawl, I crossed that damn finish line so I am damn determined to cross it. But that marathon had me wanting to give up and I will admit that that marathon put the fear of love and God in me to run another one. It definitely smacked me down hard and I was grateful that it did because I learned so much and I had to. Once you've felt a loss like that, like where you thought you were really good at something, you thought you were like crushing it, you get smacked down like royally. You got to pull yourself back up again. And like you're at that point where it is low. And in 2020, I signed up to run the L.A. Marathon in March. That obviously didn't happen because we were in. We had the opportunity to go to Australia and then we ended up staying because of the pandemic.

Kimberly Spencer (00:16:55) - So then I was planning on running the Gold Coast Marathon, but then we ended up leaving Australia. Well, the first year it ended up being canceled because of Covid, and then the second year it ended up like we were moving before I could run it or I, I was pregnant and then I was like, Oh, okay, Well, in 2022, I'll then run it then. And then we ended up moving back to California in January. So there were all of these like really well-intentioned desires to do it again, to run a marathon again, to go forth and do the training. But honestly, as we all know, you either get what you want, you get what you tolerate, you get what you settle for, and that which is unconscious manifests unhappily. And so every time somehow I just kept unconsciously manifesting this marathon running thing not happening. And then again in January, I was like committed. I was going to go in. I was like, ready? I bought my ticket for the Disney World half marathon and waited in line for two hours on the interwebs to get this ticket.

Kimberly Spencer (00:18:05) - And then, of course, I was planning on doing it with a couple of friends of mine. They ended up not doing it, not getting their registration in because it closed really super fast. And I was like, okay, fine, I'm going to do it on my own. This is how it's meant to be. I meant it, you know, do this. And then I go fourth and in January, we end up moving to Texas. So the marathon was supposed to be on January 8th. Sure. I could have eyes, you know, squeezed it in and like hopped on a plane, quickly flew to Orlando, ran a marathon, flew back, moved. Sure. Would that have driven my family absolutely bonkers? Yes. And because family is a higher value for me, I chose family. And we just decided collectively like that, you know, if the move was not settled, if the house purchase was not settled by the first week of January, that I would not run the marathon.

Kimberly Spencer (00:18:57) - And so that's what happened. And I made that decision and I said, okay, well then I am still going to run a marathon. I had been training for six months, lightly training and by lightly training, I mean like running three, four miles on like 3 to 4 times a week, not doing really long distances, not going above ten miles. I think the most I hit was nine miles. And I did that right before we left, left Los Angeles. So that was January, early January, late December. And I had signed up for the L.A. Marathon. And I said, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do this. And it was perfect timing because it fit right in coordination with the mastermind that I was going to be going to. And I said, okay, this is happening, and then we get to moving, and moving is if you've ever moved, it's a lot. And if you've ever moved into a house, suddenly we had this house and I'm like.

Kimberly Spencer (00:19:53) - We need to fill this with furniture. We need to have furniture, and we need to have a couch to sit on. We need furniture. So that took a few weeks and really I was not diligent with my training. I'm 100% honest about that. And so it really wasn't until the past month that I said, what is my intention for this marathon? What is my intention for running this? And I said, yes. A part of me had wanted to prove something to myself. Which we know is an egoic construct. Yes. I also knew that running this would allow me to remember who I am. Because I knew that this marathon was going to unlock things in me. And it did. As you can tell, because I'm kind of getting a little emotional, I was not expecting that this would be my first marathon and that my dad would not be cheering me on in person. My dad was always my greatest cheerleader when it came to me running, even though he was shocked and, you know, amazed that I could actually run a marathon because that was something he never even thought I could do, which I always love defying people's expectations.

Kimberly Spencer (00:21:07) - So that's a big win. That's the Enneagram eight in me. But my dad, when I ran my first marathon, he was fresh out of his back surgery. And yes, he was on heaps of opioids, but so I don't recommend what he did. But what he did do meant a lot to me, even though, again, I don't recommend what he did, he defied his doctor's orders and he showed up in the 2011 marathon at mile 20 in a torrential downpour like two weeks after his back surgery, just so that he could sit in a chair in German. He couldn't get up. He couldn't, you know, move around much. But he sat in a chair and cheered on every single one of the runners. And that was always that was like the best part of my dad. That was my favorite part of my dad is he would be so generous with cheering people on to their dreams. And this was going to be the first that I was not going to experience that in person.

Kimberly Spencer (00:22:08) - And. I know that my dad and I have a phenomenal relationship now that he has passed. He is my guide from the other side. And I realize that a part of me avoiding my training was the fact that I didn't want to face Thatrillioneality. And so it was in the next day after I had that breakthrough during a run, by the way, I then two days later ran I said I needed to at least hit double digits in my runs. And so I did my first ten miles. That was all I trained up to. I Didn'trillionun crazy 15, 20, 26 miles. I actually have never trained for marathons in that way. Again, don't recommend it. But I have always like I always believe that if I get up to mile 13, I'm going to finish. Because if I get even halfway, I'm crossing that finish line period. But I wanted to bring forth because, you know, our bodies know much more than our brains do. And that's why the movement of our bodies is so essential to our sovereignty, to our breakthroughs, to our growth, to our evolution, because the body will reveal certain things to you that you may not.

Kimberly Spencer (00:23:23) - You may not be aware of consciously because the body is the domain of the subconscious mind. So it was through running 26.2 miles that I had a few very pivotal breakthroughs of awareness, you know, And I. First. My first big breakthrough with running this marathon was because of the stress of moving, because of the stress of the process that went into manifesting our house and this home, which is another for another save for another podcast episode because it literally was practicing the art of detachment and surrender like full motherfucking surrender to receive this. So that'll definitely be another podcast episode. But this one, because of that challenge and the stress and the moving and the process and then doing that with two babies and my mother and my husband and getting all and then moving to a different state, moving to a place where suddenly now we have ten acres and, you know, three donkeys, then four goats, two animals pregnant and three chickens and suddenly like, oh my gosh, it's a completely like lifestyle transformation. Complete 180 quantum leaps.

Kimberly Spencer (00:24:42) - Like quantum leap. My body and my nervous system were shot, and what it needed was rest. And I kept on living into this mantra-like, if I'm going to finish this marathon, the number one thing I needed to focus on was rest. And so that's what I did for the week prior and even before that, I really concentrated on getting my meditations in on a regular basis and meaning one a day at a bare minimum, two a day typically, and then getting my sleep, because that was the most essential piece I knew that I would not be able to fear and do the 26.2 miles do that amount of length without having my body having the reset of sleep. Sleep is just my best friend recently, and the more I'm leaning into that, the more excitement and energy I'm actually having during the day, which is actually creating far more progress. Maybe that's just the fact that I'm a projector in human design and energy and rest is so essential and I don't operate the same as generators.

Kimberly Spencer (00:25:50) - But that piece of like I just knew intuitively, like my sleep was my priority like that was. And so the week prior, like everything was okay. Who's sleeping with the children? Like, how like, how are we going to navigate that? Which child is the best one to sleep with? Because Declan's been wanting some extra cuddles. And then Colton obviously we still co-sleep with Colton. We love co-sleeping. It's been we did it with both children and it's just brought so much connection. But it depends on what their sleeping schedule is and what they're doing as well. So we were it was really navigator free if that's even a word process of how. And I was so grateful for my support network of being able to understand that the second so once I had the sleep like on lock, the second thing that I really had to have an awareness of was. As I was running the marathon, the first breakthrough. So we start. We were moving. I'd gotten my rest and I felt really amazing.

Kimberly Spencer (00:26:58) - I felt great going into it. And I had committed I made the full body decision after that run where I realized what I was actually avoiding was the reality. And I realized that in this marathon that I was going to face that reality and that my dad is past and you know, that that would be something that I would have to like. This was like the final goodbye, not only to LA but to my father. And I knew that. And so I went into this marathon knowing that I was probably going to bring up some fields. And I also went in with a full-bodied commitment that I was going to finish the two goals that I set very, very clearly. One, be better than the time that I did the 2018 marathon. So 2018 I finished around 630. I said, I just want to finish in under six hours. That's it. I just want to finish an under six hours period. And I wanted to make sure that I finished without injury, like with, you know, feeling good, feeling vibrant, because I literally was going from the marathon into the mastermind, which the party started that evening.

Kimberly Spencer (00:28:05) - And then three days of intensive all day, 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. at night, classes, networking speakers, all of that. So it was like from one marathon to another. So I knew I didn't want to go into that half-assed either. I didn't want to go into that feeling completely dead as I felt after the 2018 marathon. So I said, I want to feel vibrant, I want to feel alive. And so I want to want I had those two goals which could seem like they were opposites, and I wanted to make sure that I did it without injury. So making sure that my body felt really good crossing that finish line like Not now. Injury is different than pain. I was fully accepting that you know, with every physiological challenge, there will be physiological pain to a degree. But I'll get more on that in a hot minute. So but I knew I was going to feel some things. I knew I was going to allow my body to feel what it needed to feel, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't injure it in the process of going for it.

Kimberly Spencer (00:29:05) - So this is really about the construct of the energy of which I was running, which I wasn't going to run with force. That was what I did. In the 2018 marathon. I was running to prove myself. I was running with this force energy rather than true intrinsic sourcing power from the universe and from the infinite potential that my body has and from expanding the actual capacity of my body to withhold and maintain and sustain and expand in its own capacity of energy. So those were the two goals that I had going into this marathon. So we start out and, you know, if you've ever run a marathon, it's a big crowd at first and then you're kind of like bobbing and weaving the first, I would say the first two miles of any marathon. You're kind of navigating through the people who are running. And then through my new like I would say trigger because I definitely was triggered in this, but because I had to work through my own judgments and offenses because I ran marathons back in 2011 and 2012 before there were selfies.

Kimberly Spencer (00:30:14) - And so as you're running like people were stopping in the middle of the running path to take a selfie or to like slow down. And so like you're bobbing and weaving. So it's like it's less of a marathon, it's more of an obstacle course to get through those. Like first it's more of like a gauntlet to get through those first two miles. And I had to work through like, oh, my annoyance and frustration in my own judgments with the people stopping to take selfies and like pausing and seeing all the, you know, because it's a really profound, beautiful energy that's in this space. When you are with a collective group of 22,000 people going for the same goal. It's an energy and it is palpable. And it is so cool. And I understand wanting to be able to capture it. And it's annoying as fuck to try to like to dance around it. So I'm like, because you know, there's that inertia piece. And so if someone, if you're moving forward and someone stopped, there's that inertia piece of crashing.

Kimberly Spencer (00:31:16) - And that was what I was completely unavailable for. So, it was the gauntlet and I was okay with that. Once I know, that was my first lesson to work through my own judgments and, just see like, okay, this is this first two miles, not a marathon gauntlet. Go Bob weave spartan like let's go don't knock other people down like focusing on really positive language. Find the people who are keeping pace, and lean in with them. Find your pack. So as you're running and as I was running, I was finding my pack, finding people that had a similar pace. Now, when you start a marathon, you're typically running with people at the same pace. So like, I knew I was going to be running about a 12-minute mile and I used to run a ten, but I'm okay. I surrendered my pride and I knew I was going to run a 12-minute mile because I could do that successfully without injury for a sustained amount of time.

Kimberly Spencer (00:32:12) - So because I knew that I knew that I would be running at that pace and I was looking for people feeling out people because you're literally feeling their energy as you're running past them, feeling out the people whose pace that I could match. And so this was such a this was like, aha, big breakthrough. Like a massive breakthrough. Number one was you will be at a pace for some and then move to a new pace and a new pack. So when you are in your sympathetic nervous state, there are you know, we've heard of fight flight freeze, but there's also flock where you are in your tribe, you're in your group, you're in your you're with your people. And then you may outgrow that group. And that outgrowth of that group can be scary biologically as fuck because biologically we are wired that that person who steps outside of the group, those are the ones that get eaten by wolves like that. That's our human biology. So. When you're running a marathon, you're going to be because it's such an individualized event, you are going to be finding people whose pace you match, who you may pace with for a while, and then who you may evolve outside.

Kimberly Spencer (00:33:25) - So it's a constant progression, especially like if you stop for bathroom breaks as I do like I'm not the marathon runner who chooses to pee themselves. That's just not my choice. I fully am okay with taking a hot second to go use a proper porta potty, but you will move your pace like your pace your your flock. Who you group with will adapt and you will. You will change that pace and find those people who are on it. It's almost like as you're running there's not like like oh you're running at this pace. I'm running at this pace, let's go run together. It's like an almost energetic agreement of like you're just holding the space for each other to be at the same pace at the same time. It's like it's the coolest energy. It's it is so cool. And it is also such a powerful business, one that I've found over the past year, especially with really choosing to consciously pace myself with friends, and innovators, changing the environment of the people that I surround myself with.

Kimberly Spencer (00:34:25) - Because those paces, like there are certain places that I'm choosing to run it, choosing to run it like listening to the language very carefully that I know that I'm outpacing some people that I used to pace with before business-wise. And that doesn't necessarily mean financially. That just means we're running toward a different goal. Like maybe if you're running toward a ten K a month goal, that's something that I've already passed. And so we may have been running together for a while. So you may be in a group. When I first started coaching, I joined this group coaching program and I knew that I was joining the program more for the community than for the content, because I had a feeling in my gut, that I already knew the content. I'd done so many programs around coaching and building an online business and I'd done I have multiple access to so many courses, but I knew that this one I was really joining specifically for the community because I was moving from being pregnant to being a mompreneur for the first time.

Kimberly Spencer (00:35:27) - And I knew that I needed some community around me to support me in that transition. But through that community, I eventually paced myself differently. And some people are no longer coaching. Some people have pivoted their businesses, some people have, you know, So we've gone on different paths and that and that's okay. But there's the tribe that you start with and then you may outpace that current tribe and then you pivot and go to another one. And so you're constantly you can be moving communities and that's okay because as you grow, especially if you're on a path and with an intention for quantum leaping for really exponential growth, you're going to be changing your flock more often than not. And that's okay. And marathon running was such a powerful, especially this marathon was such powerful awareness to that truth of like, okay, I paced with this one. I remember this one guy, we were in this space and pace and we were pacing together for probably about two miles, like just like running side by side. No, no, no we didn't say a word to each other.

Kimberly Spencer (00:36:28) - There was just I knew he had the pace. And then like eventually there was a friend that found him and then he just went off and paced a little faster. And that's fine. Totally fine. Like I knew I was like, okay, I'm on my own again. Okay? I'm on my own again. All right. I'm on my own. Okay. Well, let's find that next flock. Let's find that next pace. And so that's where we constantly allow it's the literal biological and physiological training of the body that it is safe to find your new flock when you are outpacing your current one. It is totally safe. That was a huge lesson then as we kept running. There was this one guy with a sign and God bless West Hollywood. I absolutely love running through West Hollywood in the l.a. Marathon because there was this one guy with a sign and my body was getting it was getting tired like it wasn't where we crossed around like he was in the hall. I saw him first in Hollywood.

Kimberly Spencer (00:37:27) - And then the coolest thing with marathon crowds, especially for bigger marathons like city-wide marathons, is there are some people who are cheering who will. Then you'll see them again like ten miles later or five miles later, and they're like, they'll be there and then they'll be five miles later. They'll be like. Ten miles down the road. So it's really cool to see. And there's this one guy who I saw in Hollywood and then in West Hollywood, and he had the most beautiful sign. And it said, When your legs are too tired, run with your heart. And it was such a reminder for me because. I come from a Pilates background. I know that, yes, I can run with my legs like my legs are strong, but that's not where your legs are in extremity. Your arms are an extremity. They're stemming out of your core where you really run from where your body really moves from. Everything stems from your core. Your chakras are in your core. Everything stems from this core.

Kimberly Spencer (00:38:25) - So the physiological core, you know, the core values, if we think of it metaphorically, if we think of it on a metaphysical level, like the core of who you are, everything stems out of the core every. So you don't want to run with your extremities, you don't want to run with the outside things You actually, when you run from the place of your core, metaphorically, spiritually, emotionally, physiologically, even, because how you do anything, how you do everything, the physiological core when you run from that core, it changes how you run and you can actually run farther and faster and that reminder of just seeing that sign, which is why it's so important to surround yourself with signs, verbiage, things of inspiration. Word for me, it's words. It's the eye in our home. There are so many words that I just see that I'm putting up conscientiously. Everything I'm putting up in my home. Is 1,000% intentional to evolve me into who I'm working to be every single day of who I'm evolving into being every single day.

Kimberly Spencer (00:39:37) - So when I saw that sign, it was such a reminder to not only run from my core of like the physiological core of my of having the rotation in my run to power through the obliques, through the abdominals to then through the transverse abdominis to pull up and in through the core so that all the abdominal wall is engaged as you're moving forward because that's what's really going to create that the talk the propulsion but beyond that. It was the heart, the emotions, and that it was after seeing that sign. A couple of miles later it was around mile 15. I started running through Beverly Hills and that's when I started to notice knee pain. And I was like, Fuck. Initially, that was my first response. I was like, Holy fuck, no, no. I have 11 miles left. Not knee pain right now because that's what that was where my injuries were in the past and specifically the 2018 marathon, I could barely walk like I was hobbling. So that was my initial reaction was a pass reference was the physiological memory of what had happened in the past.

Kimberly Spencer (00:41:03) - And then that's when the coach came out. And if you work with me or when you work with me, when you decide, you'll know that every session before it. I have a pre-coaching form. And in that pre-coaching form, I always ask the question, What's been happening with your body in the past week or since our last session? Why? Because the body is the domain of the subconscious mind. And if you study the new German medicine paradigm or read a. The secret language of your body. The new German medicine paradigm will just blow you away. Literally, what they can see is for every single disease ailment issue, they'll you'll see concentric rings on an MRI scan in the brain as to where a specific traumatic event happened. So they trace it to literally everything from macular degeneration to cancer to knee issues, whatnot. So having studied that to a degree and knowing what the body represents certain things. If you think of the metaphorical representation of your body of this meat sack that we're in, the metaphor of certain joints, of certain mobility points in your body is a metaphor for what you're currently going through.

Kimberly Spencer (00:42:25) - And where was my knee pain? My right knee. So the right knee, right side, masculine side, left side. More feminine. So right side. And the right side of masculine feminine also depends on which is your dominant side as far as whether you're left-handed, right-handed, or more left brain right brain. But traditionally, 80% of the time, the right side, is masculine, left side, feminine. So I knew the right side, masculine moving forward. Okay. My dad always would meet Mile 20. Mile 15. What's coming up soon? So that was when I felt the knee pain. I accepted it. I acknowledged it. And what does the knee joint do? The knee allows your legs, and your body to physiologically move forward. So I knew I was going to be moving forward. This was a piece of moving forward. So. As I accepted the pain. Because if you resist it, if you force it, if you're like, no, this shouldn't be happening. No, that's what's going to.

Kimberly Spencer (00:43:39) - That's what I did. Every single past marathon where I had ended up with an injury. So I said, Hey, what the heck? Like, let's try this. This thing that I've done successfully in my business and in my life, let's move up the scale of emotional vibration into the place of acceptance. Because otherwise, if you're in the shoulds, then you're feeling the shame or the guilt that you're feeling, the thing that you're feeling, and you can't. You're in denial. This can also lead to anger, which can you know, it's you're in all the lower vibratory states of consciousness. So I said, okay, I'm going to accept that this is what it is. What? And I literally asked about the part of my body, I asked about my right knee. I said, What are you here to show me? What do you need to reveal to me? And it just brought up. A well of emotions. And I felt it. And I knew and I said, okay, this is moving forward.

Kimberly Spencer (00:44:32) - This is goodbye. This is letting go. I got this and I allowed myself, instead of forcing myself to run, instead of pushing through and saying, no, I got to run. At this point, it's a marathon. I run it. I said I'm going to. I just felt my body say, just walk. Feel this space. Let yourself move. Let yourself go. Let yourself do the thing. And. I kept allowing that space. And it took about two miles. And then. It, processed it fully processed. I said, okay, I'm allowing myself to let this go. I knew this was tied to grief. I knew this was tied to the passing of my father, and I knew that this was my body's like, okay, that masculine force that was such a dominant influence in my life is not there. Or is it not there in the way that it has been? Which is positive in some respects and negative in others. Are not negative.

Kimberly Spencer (00:45:40) - But, you know, I miss the cheerleader in my dad. The positive part of him being gone is that the addiction pieces are no longer a thing that I'm needing to help him work through or feeling obligated to help. He's free of that. And so I felt it. I was with it. And then I did the thing that at the beginning of the marathon, I felt like such a hypocrite. But I allowed myself to laugh at my own judgments of my own judgmental self. Because one of the things that I noticed as I was running Declan is very much into money manifestation and he loves finding money. And whenever he finds money on the street, he celebrates it like we just won the lottery, like from a penny to a dime to whatever. And as I was running from the very first mile on, I saw so much money in the street, like so much money. And it was such a powerful lesson of money is always around us. It's always abundant, it's always present.

Kimberly Spencer (00:46:45) - And you just got to reach down and pick it up like you just got to tap in. You just got to choose to reach down and pick it up. But I and every time I passed it because I didn't want to be that person who was stopping creating inertia and I'd stymieing other people in their progress. So I made the conscious choice, okay, Like, oh, I passed up like at least a dollar in, in spare change that I found as I was just that I saw as I was running. And every time I thought of Declan and I thought of his reaction of how excited he gets for every penny and every dime that he finds. And I'm like, No, this is my run. I'm choosing to not pick this up. I'm choosing to not tap this in, but I am recognizing how abundant this universe is. I recognize that all I have to do is make a choice just to reach down and pick it up. And so then as I was running, as I was walking through Beverly Hills, I saw a penny and I reached and I was like, This is what it just called to me.

Kimberly Spencer (00:47:46) - And I said, I am going to make the choice that I'm going to have a penny for Declan when I see him. And I picked it up. And of course, I got the looks from the other runners who are like, Oh God damn it, lady, Like we were in your inner path. And I was really trying to be as considerate as possible, but it was such a moment of like, Oh my gosh, here's my karma. Like, this was my karma for all my judgment in the beginning. Totally coming back. I'm okay with that. Okay. I had the penny. It was I, I didn't pick up any more money after that, but I just had that penny and I knew that that would bring Declan a lot of joy. So I was so grateful for that. And then it was after finding that penny that I, I just felt that the renewed sense in my body that running, yes, running was okay again and my knee was fine. My knee was 100% fine.

Kimberly Spencer (00:48:35) - And so this is the thing about emotions. Emotions are energy and motion. It's energy moving through your body. And so the pain was not the pain. The pain was just a symbol that there were repressed emotions in my unconscious mind that needed to work their way out that were specific to the point of moving forward and moving on after the passing of my dad. So I like I was like, oh my gosh, the body is such a wondrous, a wondrous gift. It was phenomenal to be able to feel that experience, that see that in real time. Like I've experienced that multiple times. But to do that on this 26.2-mile journey and to know that like, oh my gosh, my body was totally fine. I was running predominantly for another four miles after that. It felt amazing. And then my knee got a little like my knees written and hips were specifically and my hips were getting a little tired and I could definitely feel the hip strain in my lower pelvis and but and in the hips.

Kimberly Spencer (00:49:30) - And I knew I was like, okay, unconscious mind like, what next? What are the next emotions that you're bringing up for me and what are the next experiences, What are the next things that I need to process? And if you think about the base of your spine, if you think about the base of your pelvis, it is a basin. It is your root chakra. It is the space where you are. It is the roots. And that was such a powerful metaphor because we have been so uprooted these past two years, uprooted from Australia, uprooted from California, planting our roots in Texas, buying a house like creating those roots again, like re-up uprooting from. If you've ever lost a parent, then there is this experience of like you are rooting yourself into a new identity that no longer attaches to that former person or who you felt you had to be for your caregivers. It's such a powerful and transformative experience losing a parent because you're literally setting down new roots.

Kimberly Spencer (00:50:45) - And so I knew that it was this concept of like literally my nerve endings in my pelvis. My body was is is in the formation phase of creating new roots energetically into this life that we're consciously creating as far as what we want to create, based on the fact that our past has prepared us for everything, to go forth and do everything that we're wanting to manifest in this world. And knowing that I'm like, okay, I'm creating new routes, new routes of belief systems, new routes of embodying those beliefs on a whole nother level. I mean, just the process of purchasing this house was this whole embodiment of like, do you really believe in the attachment, in detaching, in surrender, in faith? Like, do you have such full faith? And the answer was yes. Do you have the courage to say no? Do you have the courage to hold your boundaries to what you will and will not accept? Like those were all deeply rooted lessons through the purchasing process of this House, and then moving from that process into this marathon of like saying goodbye to my childhood home and then saying goodbye to my childhood city and then letting, like knowing that I'm planting new roots for my family so that my kids will grow up in a totally new city and a new roots for my children, knowing that we are rooting them into a home and a family after, you know, five years.

Kimberly Spencer (00:52:17) - I mean, Declan has moved five times. I mean, if you don't count the six moves we did in Australia to different Airbnbs or apartments, Declan moves once a year, pretty much every year of his life. And this was such a new experience of like since we moved into our home in Texas, he's been asking me like, Mama, like, are we going to spend Christmas here? Are we like, Where are we going to move back? Like, And finally, he's starting to grasp the concept that like, this is our forever home. This is where a home base is. Like this is what we're building here. And that's new for him. Like, that's something I never experienced. I, I lived I grew up living in the same house and a whole different construct of what a home was versus the construct that Spike and I are building is that our home is our family. Our home is wherever we are as a family. And the location is fluid.

Kimberly Spencer (00:53:14) - But I realized that Declan, being five years old, really needed that concrete foundation of like, this is where we live. This is he needed a little less fluidity and a little bit more structure and foundation for the beginnings of his beautiful life. And the same with Colton to Colton, just a little newer to the world. And so he has experienced as much as many moves and he won't experience as many as Declan did. And so they're both going to have different life experiences in this beautiful imprint period of their lives. It's going to shape who they are as humans. So this whole concept of rooting in creating roots is. Was coming through my body in such a holistic way. It was coming through my body in a holistic way to where I felt my hips, my pelvis readjusting, also, you know, readjusting after, you know, being the bearer of two children. I knew that this was also me rooting into my body, me back into me, rather than me being into the vessel for creating another human.

Kimberly Spencer (00:54:23) - Like I'm not. I am planning on creating another human eventually again. But this year it's about me. And I've been very clear with that and I'm super excited for the evolution of who I'm birthing. But it did also feel in a way, kind of like like I was pregnant again, like the same similar pelvic pain to a degree of like the stretching of the pelvis, the engagement of the fascia. Like it felt like that. And I was like, Oh, this is just me literally birthing from my chakras the next level version of who I am. Like, this is my body preparing to be that vessel, to be the emergence of the next level. And that was my body showing that gift to me, which I was super stoked about. And yet also it was challenging. So that caused a bit of challenge up until like I was walking, running a bit more shifting between the two, between like mile 19 and Mile 21. But I knew, or at least I hoped, I really hoped that my family would be there at mile 22.

Kimberly Spencer (00:55:31) - Like my dad always my dad and mom always met me around Mile 1920. But I knew that the way the course was mapped out, the best place for my family to see me and meet me like just logistically would be around mile 22. And of course, that's the number that I've been seeing repeatedly on repeat. That's like the angel number that's been guiding me since 2020. So I've been seeing it so often and so repeatedly. In fact, I kept on trying to record this podcast and we were running into different audio issues. And of course, the timestamp kept on moving to 2.2. I was like, okay, thank you, God. Angels Universe. I know you got my back with this podcast episode. I know this is going to serve awesome. So as I was, I had the faith and I had been slightly updating Spike on where I was. I'm just saying like mile 19 and I didn't know this until later, but like they got there literally probably about seven minutes right before I passed.

Kimberly Spencer (00:56:35) - But they were there. And that was the most exciting moment for me because I knew that as I was running past, I wanted to be a demonstration to my children of what is possible. And be committing and I didn't want them to see me in pain. I wanted to see them to see me strong. I didn't because I wanted to show that you can keep going for a goal. You can choose strength, you can choose to keep going. And so that mile 22, I chose to run and I had been hoping that it would rain a little bit. I'm going to be honest because I did like it was a downpour in my first marathon of 2011, which was such a transformative marathon for me. I literally ran that marathon kept running past the finish line in 2011 into the place where I was supposed to have my wedding reception to my then first husband, who we had eloped before he had deployed, and then we were going to have an official wedding. When he got back, I kept on running I realized through that marathon that he was not the one for me, that it was not a relationship that was going to be conducive to the furthering of my evolution.

Kimberly Spencer (00:57:49) - If I stayed in it. And I kept running past the finish line in a torrential downpour where only a third of the marathon runners actually finished and 100 people got hypothermia because it was freezing. And I kept running and I canceled our wedding reservations. So like having rain in a marathon, I would run in the rain all day, running in the hot sun. Forget it. But running in the rain. I wanted rain. I really did. And as I'm running, I start to feel like these sprinkles and I'm like, okay, I feel like that this is like that. I had I was like, Oh, please, let them be there. Please let them be there. And I see the mile 22 sign and I don't see them at it. And then I see the text and I look down and I see the note of just like, just look for the woman flying her scarf. And my mom had a scarf that she was waving around. And she was they were literally I looked down, had the gut intuition, look at it, looked at, saw the text, and then kept running.

Kimberly Spencer (00:58:48) - And as I ran, my dad's song that like he loved Andrea Bocelli and my playlist is all like it's an amalgamation of different styles. But there's this one song that Andrea Bocelli, I believe sings with his son, and I heard it the first time, like a year after my dad passed, and I knew that it was him speaking to me through the collective unconsciousness of whoever created that song. Like I just knew it felt so clear. And as soon as I'm running past the as soon as I like, see the kids, like, right before I see them, the song comes on and I know, I know he's there. I know that. Even though he's not there anymore present in this physical reality. I know he's there for me. And it was in that space that then I see my kids and I see Declan and he's cheering me on. And Colton's like wondering what the fuck is going on and who are all these people and what are they doing? And my mom is cheering me on and Spike is and I'm like stripping off my jacket because I was hot.

Kimberly Spencer (01:00:00) - But I had to keep the jacket on to prevent some underarm chafing. And then I knew that, like, I'm taking off the jacket. I tell Declan, I'm like, there's a surprise for you. And he's so excited. And he's like, Yay, mama, you're going to win the Golden trophy. And I just had this overwhelming, just pure sense of how loved and supported I am. And it was so profound. And the biggest thing that at the lesson that I learned from that is the importance of a cheering squad. I have seen so many people, you know, especially in the coaching industry, you're like, I don't need a cheerleader. Like I need, you know, strategy and all this. I'm like, You fucking need a cheerleading section. You need someone who is in your corner and who shows up for you regardless. You need someone to show up showing up means showing up and you show up for them. And when you show up for them, that presence of them just choosing to be there and choosing to be that supporting character the in your heroine or hero's journey is so essential to you achieving what it is that you want to create and achieve in this world.

Kimberly Spencer (01:01:14) - You need a cheering squad. I don't care who you're cheering squad is. Choose them, find them, gather them around and hold them close and then do the same for others. Be other people's cheering squad. We need that in this world because of the abundance of love that you will feel when people show up for you. Is enormous. And if you want people to show up for you, show up for them. And that was such a beautiful moment for me and it inspired me. And as soon as it happened, literally, I kept running probably not even half a mile. And then the rain came. And it just poured over me. And I knew this was God and I knew it was Grace and I knew it was a universe saying, Let this transform you. Let this lean you into who you need to be. Let this be the thing that you wanted it to be. Choose that. And it's a choice. And I felt it. And I and I kept moving forward.

Kimberly Spencer (01:02:26) - And as I was moving through toward the finish line, I finally see miles 25, 26, and I see the finish line and it's in sight. And I say this. Like 100%. Not to brag, but I know who I am meant to be in this world. Is someone who is cheering and championing others because that is something that is so necessary in this world. It is so necessary to have people in your corner. I was running toward the finish line and I see this guy he is hobbling and he is hurting. And I can tell and I and I look at him and I say, come on, we're going to cross this together. And I feel the air like there is an energy that is palpable when you are almost so close to crossing that finish line and you want to and you want to do it and you want to do it strong and you want to do it feeling good. And I kept the I slowed down my own pace. I saw the clock and I said I still had the clock said five hours and 50 minutes.

Kimberly Spencer (01:03:43) - It was really about five hours and 41, according to my own timing. But I knew that I had ten minutes to cross and be able to, at the barest minimum, at the max ten minutes, I probably had more than that. But according to the actual timestamp clock that was on the major overhang that says like, here's the big timing and I knew I could still cross-meet my goal. I was not injured. I could still cross under six, six hours. And I knew that I would not be able to feel like I cross strong if I didn't help this guy cross with me. And. I saw it because I saw him. I and I felt his pain. I felt the challenge that he was under. I and I knew he probably was so close to crossing, he would have crossed. But just having that encouragement and being able to be that for him and say like, let's cross this together. That felt so good to me. And after he lit up like his energy just shifted.

Kimberly Spencer (01:04:55) - And I said, we got this like and there were a couple of times where I could see he was struggling and I slowed my pace down. I said, okay, let's we're crossing this together. And he was so grateful. And he later turned to me and he was like, thank you so much for helping me, because it's just that little bit of kindness, that little act of kindness, of just saying, we're going to cross this together. We're going to go through this together. You are not alone in this marathon running, just like life can feel very solitary, just like entrepreneurship. It can feel very solitary, especially when you're, you know, alone in a podcasting booth or alone behind your computer, or at a coffee shop. Like you may be surrounded by people, but you're not connecting. And if you can truly just choose to lean into those relationships, who you may not 100% know and just lean into the desire to really connect under the shared banner of a mission to cross a finish line that you both see as valuable and meaningful to you and to support one another in crossing that together.

Kimberly Spencer (01:06:02) - It's a game changer for your performance. I crossed that finish line feeling so strong, feeling so invigorated, feeling so like I was embodying the fullest potential of who I could be that I even was able to. After the marathon, I had to find my car and where my family was. And 22,000 people ran this marathon. So there was a lot of traffic, to say the least. And after the marathon, I was riding on such a high that I was going beyond what I thought was possible. And I said, okay, like, let's like I'm going to keep walking until I find my car. And like, Spike was parked like a mile away and we had to, like, drive to meet each other. But that experience of just being able to help somebody else. I felt so good and felt so alive after that, and that's what I feel every time my clients achieve a goal, every time they whatever goal it is, whether it's financial business, they hire the best team.

Kimberly Spencer (01:07:08) - They reconnect with their estranged children. They discover a new way to connect with their partners. Whatever it is I see here, feel and know that it is in that space of just helping others cross their finish lines. That is where I just light up. And it is everything to me and all of those lessons combined. Were. Ingrained and etched in my bones now. And just in being able to share this with you, I was able to experience that again. So if you've listened this long, like, thank you so much and if you have and you found this and my stories to be of value to you, please share this with a friend who is going for their own marathon goal. Maybe it's not necessarily running a marathon, but maybe they're doing something that is going to require them to go the extra mile metaphorically to challenge themselves, be that cheerleader for them, and send this to them. And thank you so much in advance for passing this along. As always, on your throne.

Kimberly Spencer (01:08:24) - Mind your business because your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you. Be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following me on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown yourself now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.

The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far,  out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence, so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.

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