Developing an Abundance Mindset through Autonomic Dysreflexia with Sarah "Sharky" Harkness


Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with Founder of Project Lotus, Sarah “Sharky” Harkness [@mamma_sharky] and, your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)


In 2019 after she had her third baby, a boy, she suddenly started getting unwell. She developed chronic pain, and neuropathy in her arms and legs, and was eventually diagnosed with Intracranial Hypertension and POTS rare forms of dysautonomia.

On Christmas Day of 2020, she saw her daughter for 1 hour in between two consecutive abdominal debridement surgeries at a public hospital. She had an infection from a prior surgery and was developing sepsis.

She couldn't have held her tighter. Sarah shared the room with two cancer patients and a pregnant drug addict. But at this moment, she could have been in paradise because she was a mum seeing and celebrating Christmas with her baby on Christmas day. And that, for her was abundance.

Fast forward to 2022, Sarah spent a large chunk of her year in St Vincent's Hospital in Sydney, running a multi-million dollar revops business, CattleDog Digital, from her hospital bed, facetiming the kids, watching raging floodgates rise and fall. She missed mothers Day, her birthday, and through a blur of surgeries (brain for the third time, ileostomy, reverse ileostomy, bowel resection, bowel untwisting, bowel removal, prolapse repair, and bladder repair she learned something but it's nothing new and is something you can use every day to live the life you want.

Sarah accredits her miraculous transformation into a healthy, present, unhospitalized mother, coach, and founder of Project Lotus to a combination of Fountain Life, A360, Dr.G, and, the abundance theory that downloaded and saved her.


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In this episode of the Crown Yourself podcast, host Kimberly Spencer talks with guest Sarah Sharkey Harkness about her multifaceted life as a CEO, survivor, and mother. Sarah discusses the importance of authenticity, self-love, and embracing one's personal journey, including the shadows and suffering that come with it. She shares her belief in the power of choice, especially in how we approach suffering, and the potential for personal growth through adversity. The conversation also touches on the concepts of personal branding, the ego, and the creation of abundance through conscious connections. Sarah's vulnerability and insights offer inspiration for transforming challenges into opportunities for positive change.

*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on YouTube here.





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We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.


Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Hello my fellow sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. So this guest, you may have heard her on our debut release of the Communication Queens podcast, but you only got a snippet, a bite-sized morsel of the magnitude of Sarah Sharkey Harkness, and it is my honor to bring her now in her full glory to the Crown Yourself podcast, because this episode there is a vibe and I say that. Sparingly, like I abide with all of the guests that we have on. But there was some magic going down with Sarah in how she thinks about life, given that she was literally brought back from the dead. She is a CEO, a mom, a woman in tech, and a survivor. Sara has been helping businesses and executives around the world reach their full potential for many years, serving in the SAS and cloud computing industry. Sara has worked for the world's fortune 500 companies pre-IPO, such as Salesforce, Marketo and GitLab and taken their solutions to new markets. Following her first decade in tech, she co-founded Cattle Dog Digital.


Kimberly Spencer (00:01:22) - Despite facing significant adversity in her life after a life threatening condition diagnosed in the last four years, surviving 26 surgeries and nearly dying, Sara has emerged thriving and is a shining example of resilience and strength. Determined to make a positive impact on the world, she now shares her story with millions of people and is the author of the upcoming book Guided by Giants A Survival Guide to Thriving and Overcoming Adversity. Available on Amazon. In September, Sara and I met at Peter Diamandis A360 mastermind, and it was as soon as I heard her Aussie accent that I was like, we got to be friends. I got to know who you are. And she is phenomenally passionate. She shows up so proudly in the alignment of AI and tech possibilities, and in the exponential possibilities that come with abundance theory. And if you've been a little bit afraid of AI or have questioned, you know, the transformation that it's revolutionizing on every industry, Sara is a phenomenal guide to show that while there are things to be aware of, there is always and always will be.


Kimberly Spencer (00:02:42) - No matter if you're on death's door, infinite possibility at your fingertips for greater abundance. It is my honor to bring the full interview with Sarah Sharkey Harkness on. The Crown Yourself podcast. Enjoy. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself. Com and I'm a master mindset coach, best selling author, TEDx speaker known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity and confidence so that you too, can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. So you've been the CEO of a multimillion dollar company, Cattle Dog Digital, and now you are creating your own personal brand. You are the CEO and founder of Project Lotus, a not for profit that is supporting impact driven businesses.


Kimberly Spencer (00:04:07) - You are just such a badass because not only that, you are in the 2% of female owned businesses, you have achieved the 2% status of surpassing $1 million in annual revenue. So as you're coming out from the shadows of this giant success of the business and establishing yourself and new resurrecting yourself.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:04:30) - What are you creating within yourself that you want to bring forward into your brand? One word abundance. Uh, and and as much of it as and I can muster and wherever I can find it. And it's not very far if you just look. What is abundance mean to you? Love and compassion. Kindness and shedding light on everything and who you are and stepping into that who you are in us. It's probably not even a word, but stepping into that book, uh, is really, um. Is really what I'm hoping to help people do. So we've kind of established these two ways of working, one for businesses, but really one for for the self and in the coaching side. And that really is working with people who can.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:05:31) - Find that spark within and bring it out.


Kimberly Spencer (00:05:36) - So what would you say.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:05:38) - Is the difference between who you are.


Kimberly Spencer (00:05:40) - And the brand that you're creating?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:05:43) - If there is a good question and look, really, I think there isn't actually a difference. It is who I am. 100% is who I am or my light shines through. There is nothing disingenuous, inauthentic about it. And I think that's the key here is once you actually know who you are, um, know what your purpose is in the world, you can stand right in it and strong, and there's absolutely nothing that can stop you from looking in that mirror and being incredibly proud and incredibly in love in the most healthy and non narcissistic way. It's really about driving and sharing that love as much as you can with the world. Because in in order for uh, you to serve others, you've got to first have served yourself in the sense of fully loving and fully accepting and fully embracing everything and all that you are, warts and all, and we all and I.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:06:41) - My scars have, uh, many, many, many scars. Um. I wear them like a badge of honor.


Kimberly Spencer (00:06:50) - So how do you. De-identify then from the results that your business and your work will create in the world.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:06:59) - And.


Kimberly Spencer (00:07:01) - Not? Or will they have an impact on on your self-worth? Because, you know, business has its ups and downs sometimes, and things happen.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:07:10) - Life happens, of course. And so so.


Kimberly Spencer (00:07:14) - If the business and the brand that you're building is your own personal brand is you. How do you de-identify from the results?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:07:21) - Well, I think it's important to still have boundaries, and it's really important to have, um, you know, your, your kind of private center as far as you know, there's the parts of you that you choose to share with the world. But we all know that on social and and out in the world that you're only getting snippets of the mirror, they're only getting snippets of you. But that but it's still you. It's just not the full thing.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:07:45) - So there are obviously elements left by children and, you know, elements within my life that are private. But for the most part it is it's ensuring that you just set the right boundaries. And if you, um, have those boundaries in place, then people can't cross them and you're keeping yourself safe. But it's but otherwise it's it's a. For those that deserve and those that are worthy and those that really recognize it, then they're the ones that get access. So I've noticed.


Kimberly Spencer (00:08:17) - In my preparation for our time together.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:08:20) - That.


Kimberly Spencer (00:08:20) - The podcast interviews that you've done in the past, uh, like you have built an incredibly successful business in Rev ops. I mean, you did with Cattle Dog Digital. You mentioned that with JB Hi-Fi, who I know for Australia living there. I think that's how I, ah, like Apple TV.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:08:37) - I lived over there. Oh.


Kimberly Spencer (00:08:39) - But you took them.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:08:40) - From.


Kimberly Spencer (00:08:41) - 300 million to.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:08:43) - 900,000,000in revenue. Yeah. Away for sure. Yeah. With the team of what you did.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:08:48) - So I mean, I had some.


Kimberly Spencer (00:08:49) - Incredible success stories and have done that all while being a mother of three children, like not just one.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:08:57) - Three, three and all very close together. There's only there's less than two years with each of them apart, um, and obviously battling a very hard fought battle with autonomic dis reflex here. So yeah, and in many ways I have leaned into, um, the knowledge and understanding that that is really a miracle. And I'm so incredibly grateful, uh, for so many people that all my giants that that kind of supported me throughout all the whole process. Um, but that success, uh, was never driven by, uh, me alone. It's always done with the team. And the team in servant leadership is what I always aspire to be. And you asked me a little bit earlier, you know, um, about a question. And one of the really most important things, I think, is I, I live from a love language of active service.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:09:55) - So as a servant leader for my team, it was really about helping encourage them along with working with the exec. So I can't take credit for the JB Hi-Fi success. Really. It was Brett McGinnis and Linda Godfrey who drove the heck out of that internally, and they leveraged Kanban. So it was Rev ops in motion. It was actually this whole abundance theory in action. And one of the things that I've really noticed about abundance is that this theory has not been disproven to me yet. We haven't tested it in a lab yet, but I'm really hoping to do so, and it seems to have only an abundant outcome. Um, and it works.


Kimberly Spencer (00:10:39) - So looking at your story, though, what are the boundaries that you put around your children in order to protect them with, with the story? And, um, I know you're going through some massive personal transitions right now. So the what are those protective boundaries that you leverage? Because, I mean, for me, I speak as a mom that, you know, two, two littles as well.


Kimberly Spencer (00:10:59) - And and there's so much a part of my evolution and growth as a business owner and learning that balance and that dance that comes with being a mother and be pure. And so how do you share that side of your story, or do you saga.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:11:18) - Of light, I have there are snippets of it and and it's really looking at you as the whole. So there's you as the mother, there's you as the business owner and entrepreneur and absolute badass goddess clean. And then you, there's you as a lover. There's there's so many sides to us as women that I think that we don't necessarily even give ourselves credit for the fact that we chameleon ourselves so much all the time in order to be of service to everyone around us. I think that women in particular have this incredible innate skill, and I think men also have this skill, but it is just, um, the ability to hold space like no one I've ever seen. Women in particular have this, uh, just innate ability to create space and be whatever is required at that particular judgment time.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:12:20) - And I guess what I'm really hoping to help people see is that that is an incredible that's a superhero skill. And as a mother, that's an even more superhero skill. And I was actually talking to someone yesterday, um, funnily enough, and we were talking about how as, as women, as mothers, um, the DNA of our children stays with us for life, for life. So if you've got boys, you've got this DNA, which is you can wrap your head around that. That's incredible. So I was I was thinking about how that we also that carry that responsibility for these guys and who they become. And all of a sudden, my whole transformation as a mother just expanded completely into my need to not only model what it is to be a woman for my boys. Um. A mother for them. I also now need to show them what is love and and what is what, what is worthy of love for them, and how they can then lean into that as man in the future.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:13:31) - They need to be able to see that and have that modeled for them. And so this, this so much that we've got to do to chameleon ourselves. But what I'm doing at the moment and the boundaries I'm putting in place are my kids are everything to me. Absolutely everything. I owe them my life. I mean, literally, they are the reason I jumped out of that coma in May last year. Like, we're talking about this incredible gift. That as a force, as mothers that beyond any comparison, we we can tap into and that that that force is, is the choice that I made to not leave them behind. I can't I couldn't leave them. No, I ain't gonna be in this life without me. So for that reason, I'm, I look at them every day and and I'm incredibly grateful for them. But I also need to protect them. So with things online and, and, um, I absolutely share the stories together. And my daughter, you you love her, Gracie.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:14:28) - She's diabolical and incredible and probably my hero because she's out there. She's singing, she's she's recording her her her singing at the moment. But we're just pushing all these opportunities and lay them in front of her and saying, I would pick one and whatever you like or invest in, and we'll go and you can go and do that and singing and dancing and acting. And, uh, she seems to be particularly set up for that. And she is loving that. So I, I definitely want to share that with the world because that's that to me that's abundance, right? Any time I can show anybody that this is what we're creating by just pure love and it is unconditional with your kids. Um. I think that that is a good example to set, so I'm okay to do that. Um, but I'm not going to expose them. I'm definitely have a little bit more of a savvy mindset now. Um, and have you gone back and curated and deleted quite a few things from online that I didn't necessarily I don't want oh, their safety is paramount, right? So other than that, I think it's an incredibly beautiful thing to share your kids with the world.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:15:40) - And as long as they I give you permission, which my daughter does, she's like, can we do my YouTube channel? I think that's okay. Oh my gosh, what am I created? Oh me and my, my.


Kimberly Spencer (00:15:54) - Six year old Declan U-bend. Yeah. He's like take a picture.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:15:59) - I'm like, exactly man. And then I showed me.


Kimberly Spencer (00:16:02) - I was like, do I need to.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:16:03) - Make him a YouTube channel.


Kimberly Spencer (00:16:04) - Now? Because he's like, no.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:16:06) - We're here. Yes. That's how I got. Gracie does it now and she's not even got anyone filming. Hi, guys. I'm just sitting here and playing chess with my brother. It's gorgeous. And I actually think that this is a good point, right? Uh, they're growing up in a in a time where technology is everywhere and technology is so paramount and such an integral part of our lives. And, you know, me and the Nerdist nerdiest nerd that ever was, um, and I, I'm very excited to be bringing to life and showing them how to augment themselves with technology.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:16:43) - I've just been such a huge advocate of this for such a long time. Uh, the collaboration that we can have with the tech that's coming out and the tech that exists today. Um, I'm actually so excited about their future. You know, one of the things that I. That made me do an abundance 360 was I was hoping that I could create a metaverse, Sharkey, for them as a legacy, because at that time, I was not necessarily sure what the future was gonna hold. And to know that that technology now exists, but now also to know that that I can leverage that technology in a different way, that it's not about creating a legacy anymore, is about creating like a multiverse capability or or almost doubling the abundance we can create for the world. That that's pretty cool. And the kids get to grow up in that world. So I'm pretty excited about.


Kimberly Spencer (00:17:40) - Your journey of being in hospital for the during the pandemic, like alone and missing your children and not being present. What what did solitude teach you?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:17:52) - I got really good at it.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:17:54) - Um, and in fact, probably too good for a bit, uh, where solitude was my preference as opposed to connection, because I was so used to it and it taught me there was nowhere else to go but inward. And trust me, there are points in a journey like that and we're talking almost three years. If you calculate all of the actual time in and the amount of surgeries in that time, and I won't get into the nuts and bolts or everyone would get depressed. But it was, uh, it was like walking through hellfire. Uh, you know, that the things you confront within yourself when you don't have the ability to help yourself out of it, you just have to sit in it and you're forced to, um. And all of us get like that, right? We all have some suffering in our lives. There's no one that should be drawing any comparisons, because I still am yet to meet anyone in the world that has gone through anywhere near, unfortunately, the hellfire that I am seeing, and there's a lot of people that have suffered a lot.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:18:59) - Um, but 26 surgeries and. And dying. You can't. I don't know how I'm still here. Other than through faith and God. It's. It is literally a miracle. So. Facing all of that alone, you come to a realization that you're not. You're not actually ever alone. And that is what I found in solitude. And I really found that I wasn't ever alone, that I had abundance all around me. And anytime I could tap into that, and it wasn't a disassociation or a disillusion or, you know, it was, this is the only way I'm going to pull myself out of it. And I remember in October of 22, in my final surgery, and, God willing, that is the last surgery I ever have, except for maybe to remove one, 1 or 2 bits of machinery in my body. There's like, I don't need that anymore. Uh, I, I went looking for my people, right? And I sat there and said, there must be more than this.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:20:07) - Come on. I said it out loud. And I opened my computer and I found fountain life. And then I found abundance. 360. And before I'd even left the hospital, I'd had the interview with James and had joined abundance 360 and through abundance 360 I found doctor J and doctor J, and Fabi and the team at Nutri are the absolute key to why I am not only alive, but thriving and creating abundance now, not just for myself. I've created so much abundance in myself, and I've healed from every wound I've ever had. Whether it's psychological law, it's, you know, it is literally a miracle I have. No I have no bad feelings about the past I have. I carry none of it with me. And that woman that sat in that hospital less than a year ago. She's me. But. But she's a different me mum and I know many lies. I let her rest.


Kimberly Spencer (00:21:12) - Yeah, yeah. It's, uh. It's like a death and a resurrection. When my father passed in 2021, um, I felt the several parts of me that were still lingering and holding on were gone.


Kimberly Spencer (00:21:26) - And it was it was there was a freedom in that, in being able to create a new and also fucking scary something you like at the same.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:21:37) - It's terrifying. But my gosh, so terrifying. And I scammed myself sometimes as well. And, you know, uh, you've got to learn to when you get wings, you're like, whoa, where am I gonna fly to? And you freak out a little bit because, oh, you've not met this person before. You've got to get to know her. And the the, you know, of all the transformation journeys that I've been. I've been on a few. Um, I can tell you right now, it wasn't the beating autonomic, this reflex it. And I still live with it. It still hangs over my head like a shadow, like it's still there. It's life threatening. I can go any day, but so can everyone. And I've just come to that. Like, how am I different now from everybody else? I'm not right.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:22:22) - The only difference is it took me to walk through hell to get here, and maybe I can help people not do that. That would be an ideal scenario that you don't have to walk through so much suffering. Suffering is a choice, and I can help people understand that choice and maybe make a different one if you want to, because the abundance that you can create is purely choice. It's a choice. And that's just the choices that I made. And maybe that might inspire somebody, or maybe that might make them think twice about whether or not the the future looks bleak or whether it looks abundant. And it is just simply a mindset shift. But it's more than that. It starts to become your emotions. It starts to become who you actually are. And I realized maybe not that long ago that all of my journey was not for naught. It was my purpose. And for that I was very grateful. So I became grateful for what I'd gone through. I became incredibly humbled by it, but grateful for I have insight into life and death like not many people have in the world.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:23:35) - And those that do are doing exceptional, transformational things. And I want everybody to start tapping into what is possible within them. Uh, if they can touch that abundance that lives within them, it's just it's just it's in their heart. It has it has been the whole time.


Kimberly Spencer (00:23:53) - I think the magic is you. You pierce the veil. As I say, in Native American cultures, my husband's native part Native American. And, uh, when you pierce the veil, you. It's either through death being near you, someone close to you. Um, where that person who's grieving is, is in, is held in reverence by the community or piercing the veil of actually dying like you did and coming back from being in a coma and and that experience and that it's it's transcendent. Would you say that you always believe that some part of you believed that suffering was a choice?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:24:29) - I think deep down, I think what wasn't conscious for me was how much I had chosen suffering. Um, what? So there's and definitely more about that.


Kimberly Spencer (00:24:40) - What what type of suffering were you tolerating?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:24:45) - Well, narcissism, uh, in areas of my life, uh, allowing space for people that shouldn't have that space, uh, giving access to me and my energy that. To people that didn't deserve it. And I think part of it is because I've innately always been empathetic. I always care for everyone. My love language acts of service as a service of servicing. I'm happy. But if I'm actually of service to people that the energy is not coming back or that energy is not flowing, then it's wasted. And I probably didn't totally understand that. And so consciously or subconsciously, I was allowing people. Who? We're damaging to that. Sarah. And and so she suffered a lot. And I speak of her as a separate person because I'm still find it hard even now to to really relate to her. You know, we've talked to a resurrection or a death. Absolutely. On days like, uh. Some of those surgeries or, you know, when you hit the absolute bottom, it is like a death in you.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:26:00) - But there's always been this moment in those really. And I'm going to get really, really, really honest here about life, right? Uh. There has never, not once in any moment of so much suffering. And we know the suffering that I endured. Um. But it has been worse. There's been other moments where other people have inflicted wounds on me and even known my story. So if you can imagine that that kind of suffering is deep. Uh. Those brains I still came to with love, care, compassion, heart. And I allowed myself to grieve. I allowed myself space to be sad, but I never chose ever to give up. I always knew that I was held in those moments and that I could just cry it out to, you know, that visceral cry. The mothers, you know, mothers that have lost a child or, you know, we all have in us this animalistic, visceral cry. I can remember being in those moments of the visceral cry, and hopefully there's only been a few of those and let's hope there's not many more.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:27:20) - But, um, but in those moments to to just sit with her and, and hold space for her, uh, as myself, with myself, if you can imagine that. And just allow her the time to. Feel what she felt. And those are the most intriguing and and beautiful moments, because they're the moments that always prove this abundance theory. And in every single moment, there has always been something, whether it's a rose on the ground or, uh, I see a bird fly past or. Uh, someone will ping me on my phone that I haven't heard of, or there will just be something. There's always something. And. And if you have a loud enough space and not just sat and only focused on the negative of that moment or the suffering, yes, you can feel it and you can lean into it. And that's part of the process where we're here to feel everything there is to feel right. Like that still is a gift. Inevitably. One thing will happen. Like a little bird, let's call the little bird will just.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:28:41) - Metaphorically come and land on your shoulder and say, it's all going to be okay. You're okay. You are loved. You are not alone. And that is sometimes all you need. And the more people we can get doing that, the more people that that will see that in their suffering. And we won't lose as many people as we do. Um, but it is still a choice in that moment to decide, do I look at the bird or do I look at the suffering? Do I look at the opportunity, the abundance, the love, the do I do I feel into that? And as soon as you make that choice, guess what? It multiplies. It starts multiplying and it starts and it keeps multiplying. Because the energy that comes from making that choice is rewarded by the universe, and it keeps wanting to look in that mirror every time. And now. Now the point that I'm at is just with the mirror. We'll go find the mirror every day. And it's not just look at myself in the mirror.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:29:38) - Obviously, it's looking at you. It's. It's working with these incredible people. And then when you get two of us together who are on the same level, you have the exponential. And that's abundance theory in Amazon. And the work that we can do in collaboration instead of separation is what I'm all about now, just finding the mirrors and multiplying.


Kimberly Spencer (00:30:02) - I love the metaphor of the mirror. I mean, obviously with any metaphor that involves a mirror, mirror on the wall.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:30:08) - Exactly.


Kimberly Spencer (00:30:11) - I know so many people. You know, they're looking for this symbol. They're looking for, you know, just give me the steps. Just give me the steps to do what you did.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:30:22) - Yeah.


Kimberly Spencer (00:30:23) - To make the millions. Just give me the steps and are there are like. Are there the the the the steps or is are the steps this death and resurrection process. Because I have a theory. Um.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:30:43) - I mean, and I would love to hear your theory. Uh, but I do think it is.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:30:49) - It is that partly. And it is about actively choosing to see your shadows, embrace them and alchemist them. Mhm. That's my theory. What's yours. I think I think.


Kimberly Spencer (00:31:02) - The theory is my theory is that it is the constancy of a b do have principle of, it's about becoming so that you can have. So like yeah you can have the steps. But unless you're being the person. But what is required then to be the person. Right. Well what is required is your old identity has to die of who you have thought you have been of of the the ideas, the some of the beliefs, maybe that you've held, maybe relationships in order for you to go down to the deaths, become aware of the shadows and then pull yourself off. So very similar. Yeah, in theory, but I, I do believe that a part of the step has to be that resurrection into something more, into breathing a new becoming of your full potential, because otherwise, if it was just, oh, let me just implement the steps, everyone would do it in a small.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:32:00) - Way, but not for everyone. Trust me, this process and you know, this life. Oh my gosh, I wouldn't wish any of these sufferings on anyone. It is not for the faint of heart. And that is probably the one difference. Uh, and everybody's got their one difference that everybody, everybody is unique. We're all stars. We're all made of the elements. We're all, you know, we're all have these similarities. And yes, we're all connected. But there is something unique about everyone. And I think to your point, it is about finding your unique, uh, I'm going to sound like it's a business, but it's like, what is your unique value proposition? Right through what what do you bring to the world? And and only owning that and standing fully in that? I think that is, is is really the path less traveled. And not everybody does that in a way that's authentic and not everybody does that having faced the shadows and therefore we get a lot of false prophets, is what I call them.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:32:58) - As far as people saying that they do it, but they're not doing it. Um, I often joke around and say, Goggins, I eat for breakfast because he's out there talking about that. And look, I love I actually really love Goggins, but but the act of inflicting suffering on oneself instead of, um, just looking at the shadows. I don't necessarily agree with that approach, because I think the world has enough suffering, and you often have enough suffering in your own life that you don't need to look very far. And it doesn't have to be so extreme. However, I totally appreciate and recognize and validate the brain an awesome. What I would say though, is that again, suffering is a choice. So if you're actively choosing suffering in order to generate abundance.


Kimberly Spencer (00:33:45) - Unlike.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:33:46) - Well, that's a long way to get there. The other way could be to just embrace who you are, understand your power, stand in it, start generating more of it, owning it and not being afraid of it.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:34:01) - And that goddess within all of us, men and women exists. And she's just ready, waiting to come out. And I have been so incredibly inspired by that goddess journey that I want so many other women and men to go on the same, because it is just it's to have fallen in love with yourself. Not not in the way that that's narcissistic or egotistical, but to fall in love with all of you and be whole. There's nothing like it on the planet. Then you're ready for all the love that the world can offer. Then you're lovely. Then you're able to spread that love with everybody. But you cannot do that fully and wholly unless you've done that within yourself. And I had to love a woman that doesn't have a large bowel or. Is often, you know, in pain or, you know, I've had to love this woman who is not the picture of perfect. There are shadows that have existed in the shadows that I inflicted on myself. How do you love someone that has hurt you so much? But to do that, that's powerful.


Kimberly Spencer (00:35:13) - I experienced that that that transformation of learning, that love when I was 19, 20 years old, going through battling bulimia and in the recovery process of just being able to. All see myself as myself and see the the.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:35:33) - The journey of.


Kimberly Spencer (00:35:34) - Who I was becoming, who was healed and transformed. And I ended up, you know, completely recovering with a psychological or medical interference. Um, I haven't looked back since I was in over 13 years now. Um, and just I see that woman, and I look back, just like you do, and I don't recognize. I just really want to give her a hug. But I remember the process of going through that came with a lot of. I see it as seeing your sovereign self looking down, looking back with you and being in this dance of pulling you in the present moment through those experiences when you have just berated yourself and beating yourself up and you know or been in pain, like with your autonomic nervous system disease, I mean, that's that's just.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:36:24) - And to to to make that woman. Kind of in metaphorical sense or metaphysical sense or, you know, she was always there. And that's what I mean. You never learn that self was actually always there. And and maybe that is the self that carried me. I am and and maybe that, that that maze is, you know, the, the me connected to the larger universal forces and and and God they but I, I pray I would spend time with with we that future self and really feel like what that would feel like. What would it feel like if it wasn't like this moment. And I started to get good at that to to almost just transform. And I actually started just practicing experiments in the hospital, like, all right, this is the this is pretty bad. Pretty bad. We're getting fed through achieving you okay. And you Belly's full of bile and you're being told in probably not gonna last very long on. You know, think about writing your will, and I did.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:37:35) - I too will at 37, uh, which, you know, imagine leaving three kids. My my son had only really just been born in 2019 when I was diagnosed in, uh, January of the following year with intracranial hypertension and then shoved into hospital to get a brain shunt. The first one it requires you to. I will find something else. They can't. You cannot get through those moments without that force. And I think the force is love at the end of the day. And I think I've just been on a journey to becoming and being. And all I want in my life is love. And that's really as simple as I guess, and just am going towards that and that there isn't much space for anything other than that anymore. Love kind of crowds.


Kimberly Spencer (00:38:31) - Out and it's not any of the extra.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:38:33) - Anything.


Kimberly Spencer (00:38:34) - Yeah, it really does. Looking at the, um. The the transformation of the identity shift. Just to play devil's advocate in the terms of branding, right? Yes. Like to say that suffering is a choice.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:38:49) - It is.


Kimberly Spencer (00:38:49) - Incredibly polarizing.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:38:52) - Oh, yeah.


Kimberly Spencer (00:38:53) - To be able to get it, to really declare out loud, so, so much so glad that many people might want to punch you in the face. But I humbly and I that's.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:39:01) - Not downplaying this angry at all. In fact, bring it on. It it. And in fact, I welcome the the the that I welcome this this is great. This is how we learn. And and look, um, forgive my, um, forthrightness about that, but I am qualified to make that statement because, um, in those moments of pain. And it might be physical, emotional, uh, psychological. You know, we all have dimensions of us. And at any point, those dimensions can be attacked from outside. Inside, you know, it's a constant, constant necessity to alchemist this. We get anxiety, we get depression. We you know, we have so many facets. Um, and I often speak with people in my coaching business about, um, in the abundance coaching business about this because.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:40:00) - My frustration sometimes internally, quietly is I can see you choosing suffering and I don't want you to because I know what's possible when you don't. But that the care and compassion is the is, is is actually, if we look at it and break this down into an equation in order to transpose or alkalis that suffering, if we simply just gave ourselves the internal love, care and compassion that we needed to get through that moment of suffering, and we allow space for the suffering and and the suffering isn't the problem itself. It's how we choose to deal with the suffering. It's how we choose to optimize the suffering. And that's what I mean. In the hospital, I was starting to go, okay, let's experiment with this particular situation. Fell through the neck, or there was literally one time there was blood on the walls and I was like, this is I took a photo of that one day. I was like, yeah, this is the moment that's like, I don't want to repeat. This is in your face.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:41:00) - This is like a murder. This is a murder scene. This is horrendous. So okay. All right. And then but yes, let's end it. Remind me that you feel like that, right? Every moment, no matter how small this suffering is. Like one of my kids get mad. I'm like, oh, is this as bad as it gets? And we know we've got data points otherwise. But, um, in the moment it was okay. If this is as bad as it gets, what is the moment leave from me? So take a breath. How can I just give myself love, care and compassion in this moment? And it was something that I just started to do. How can I turn this moment not into this moment anymore? So it didn't feel so bad anymore. It just was away. Did not feel so bad in the moment. So in those that are coming saying, okay, well, suffering is a choice. Yeah, life is a choice. Love is a choice.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:42:00) - Everything's a choice. Every single day you are making an active choice. It just depends on how conscious you are of that choice. So how conscious do you want to be of that moment? In this moment? How conscious? How alive do you want to be right now, in the moment and go and be there? Because right now you have an opportunity. This is a this is a gift. Suffering can be a gift. And for me, I saw my suffering as an opportunity. I just went, okay, wow. Bring it on. More stories, more data points, more information I can use to create the a new version of myself. And I started taking photos. I started actually writing about it. I started posting about it. All right, we're having another surgery. I just started to use it as a story. That was something I could then hopefully use to help others see that life wasn't so bad because if my life was so, so bad in that moment, then maybe there wasn't going to be so bad.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:43:02) - It was just a data point, right? So I guess the choice is just knowing that you do have a choice and that's freedom. You actually have that sovereignty within.


Kimberly Spencer (00:43:13) - I mean, I personally, I love your forthrightness and couldn't, uh, like I completely agree. Like I said, I was playing devil's advocate and I love in the way in how you share the the story of your suffering and the experience that as you navigated, you navigated to one of the most powerful like you shifted. What Tony Robbins says is the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask. And he got that from Richard Bandler, who's the founder of NLP. And so the the question that you shifted was, how can I bring more care, love and compassion? And that tip alone in just how you communicate, because you got such a polarizing topic right there in suffering as a choice. Because, I mean, you tell that to to the grieving mother who just lost a child.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:44:06) - I like, well, people with cancer stage for cancer.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:44:09) - Yeah, and I did. I had this conversation. A friend of mine are at my go and get regular infusions, line of loss and you know, quite regularly and that's maintenance. And um, and there's a woman there, uh, who has been battling really badly and, and I didn't I didn't tell her this. And some would say that's irresponsible. Some would give me a hard time. And I'm ready for all of that criticism because those that that will say that do not understand. But I can tell you right now the messages I got from her shortly later that day, I sent them to my team. I said, guys, this is what I'm talking about because I stood and said to her, let me be your proof. I have already done the suffering that you have and that you are going through. Let me let me be a proof. Lay it at my feet, let it go and just fight. Now is the time to fight for you because you are more than this.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:45:05) - You are so much more than their suffering. And if you just remember that that you are worthy of more than what you're suffering, then that can just see you through to just the next thing. And then all you have to do is not look at the mountain, you just, just the next thing and then collect your data along the way, collect data points of life and store them in your memory bank of hang on, we got through that moment so we can get through this moment and got through that moment so we could get through this moment and everything starts to Bangkok. And this woman. Went from fatigue. Like when I saw her, she was so flat. She just was about, you know, she's really about ready. She's like, all right, I'm ready to surrender to the reality. That part of the mindset shift is no, no, no no no. That that is what they want you to think. So don't do that. Just take that loss. Is there a little spark of fire left in you? Is what I asked her in? Is there a little spark left a fire in you? Because I can see it.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:46:11) - And? And that shifted her a little bit. And then I think what's come out of that is now a momentum. And now. And because she texted me and said, thank you so much for what you said, and I, you know, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. And she was motivated again to fight for herself. And really, frankly, we should all have that much care and love and compassion for ourselves that we fought so hard that even on even when we are at that point of surrender and we don't have a choice anymore, you know, we're about to go, that we're absolutely happy to do it. Um.


Kimberly Spencer (00:46:46) - You said you said that's what they want you to think.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:46:49) - Who is they? Those people that are probably going to give me a hard time for things that are probably the people that are inflicting the suffering and, uh, and, and not holding themselves accountable for that or choosing otherwise. But even they are worthy of care, love and compassion.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:47:08) - And I can tell you right now, you know, the most, um, troubling people in my life. I've been practicing this and, you know, really honing this, this capability of. Seeing whether or not I could help bring to life this spark and this in them. And whilst they don't necessarily have all the tools that I have, uh, learned along the way, I've given them little snippets. Enough. Just enough, uh, to maybe stop them from making choices to inflict more suffering. So it's just a little bit of. You know, love, care and compassion. And again, that is it. That is really it seems so simple, but it actually just is. It is that simple.


Kimberly Spencer (00:47:54) - What do you think causes suffering? Is it the fact that. Do you think that the belief that suffering is not a choice causes up greater suffering?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:48:01) - Totally. Completely and amplifies it?


Kimberly Spencer (00:48:04) - Is there anything else beyond that? But they.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:48:09) - Are ego. And I've realized that ego has a place to write.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:48:12) - The ego is meant to be there to help us survive when we're about to, you know, when we're when our life is in danger. That is what the ego is for, is supposed to be there for a reason. So it doesn't need to just be bullying. You know, a lot of people like Kelly, you know, know, really care, love it and cherish the ego. The ego is there for us. But but to integrate the ego is is really the goal. And if we live from the seat of the ego, then good luck, because. The mirror will show you a lot when you do that.


Kimberly Spencer (00:48:43) - I always say want the ego like in the back and like the rear seat. Maybe give him an iPad or something like that. I just don't happen to be the.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:48:51) - Driver, Limpy. Exactly.


Kimberly Spencer (00:48:54) - Give him some pain and want to let you go. Just chill out for a second.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:48:58) - I'm glad. Yeah, yeah. And for me, I guess my ego had a battery.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:49:03) - You know, I get much of an ego and you can't really make up or, you know, dress up or do your hair or, you know, you've been shaved because of a brain shunt. Like, he leaves the ego quickly in those moments. Um. What I probably would say was I went looking again to integrate and find her so that it was a healthy ego, that that's that there. So now I have her sitting with me. She gets the spice, but I don't live from her. She she just has a freedom. Uh. That allows me to be confident, not egotistical. And sometimes I think, you know, we we can worry that particularly when we're in the spotlight or particularly when we're building a personal brand or, you know, am I going to come across like I have a giant ego? No, I think the authenticity and the confidence is, is where your ego comes in. Really, any ego can protect you from from those haters because then you go, well, that's good for you, not for me.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:50:05) - Thank you. See you later.


Kimberly Spencer (00:50:06) - And Andy, strongly enough, you may, you know, see projections of other people's egos saying that it's ego, but really ultimately it's their projection. We can really we only know our own egos, and everything else is our reflection that we're saying.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:50:22) - Exactly, exactly. And someone very, very wise in my life said that to me, that in. What? What is happening outside is often a reflection from within. And so I often use that as a tool. Now to anytime I'm something weird or dysfunctional is happening, I'm like, all right, all right, what's going on in there? What am I doing? What can I do? What, what? And taking that responsibility. You know, it's one thing to stand in that sovereignty, but taking the accountability of that sovereignty and the responsibility you now have to use the knowledge that you gained or the wisdom that you've been gifted. And again, I'm not I'm not, uh, anything special. I'm nothing different to anybody.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:51:05) - Right? Anyone listening or anyone watching this? Um, I am no different to you. It might seem like an exceptionally crazy story. And how can you be, you know, even just standing? Trust me on the same question every day. But the reality is that the different. The only difference is I've chosen this. I've chosen to learn it, to use this, to find more, more, more, more. And I am hungry and just want to stay hungry to learning and being as much as I can on service to this world. And you cannot have all of these things happen to you and not be of service to the world. So maybe use your suffering for something. If you can use your suffering for something, then you've turned it into alchemy. Then you're turning in things into gold, right? Yeah, yeah.


Kimberly Spencer (00:51:53) - And the beautiful thing is, like I always say that that which is conscious manifest happily, which is unconscious, manifest unhappily. And when you can look at it, it's not necessarily a 1 to 1 projection.


Kimberly Spencer (00:52:04) - Like you're like, oh, that person has a, you know, there's jealousy projection because of somebody who's, you know, business, but really you're feeling jealousy because of your partner. Like, it's not it's not normally a one time action. Um, so sometimes when you are able to look in, it's, it's not the form that you think the projection is in, but it's in the, it's in being able to say, well, what are the common themes of this projection of the negativity of the unconscious manifestation of that which I don't want or the results that I don't want, want? And then looking at where else am I doing something similar? How am I doing it? So if it's like a breach of integrity in business, maybe there's something that it's either a boundary issue or an integrity issue that you're experiencing, whether it's personal integrity, maybe you're not keeping your own commitments or something like that to yourself. Yes. But just being able to see that because it's not a 1 to 1 relationship, it's not necessarily that thing that you are seeing projected outside of you that you feel is creating.


Kimberly Spencer (00:53:03) - Suffering is actually the thing inside that may be creating suffering. It could be some other form, like in the like. It's new, not new level, new devils. It's new a new level. Yeah. Damn devil. Different forms.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:53:16) - Totally. And sometimes it's it's just somebody who's a bit of an ass. Oh, am I being an ass? Yes, probably a little bit. Or maybe they're just not, and that's fine. And and you move on. But you're right. Like, uh, I, I'm quite fascinated by how much how much we don't realize is within our control, or at least within our consciousness, and what we can use and do when we open our eyes and our hearts and our minds to them, because that's where we really then see power. And I you know, I've always loved your your saying about, you know, crown yourself. And I never really totally understood it until recently where I was like, oh, this is what you mean, where it's allowing the permission and giving yourself the freedom and what a gift when that freedom comes.


Kimberly Spencer (00:54:10) - Great responsibility. And I said, not a lot of people want the responsibility, so they're willing to sacrifice their freedom.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:54:16) - And I feel like there's an element of when you hmhm because I've experienced recently like the the surrender part of that where when you get the responsibility, you then need to learn to surrender, that it no longer becomes your story as much as it is everybody's story. And if you can surrender to that, to eventually it, it allows for so much greater possibility because your story then gets Alchemist and the way that it needs to be fed and provided to the world. And I'm really grateful that I've I've found a group of people and and my community and you and and our people to really help invest in me to to be able to see that the potential of that, um, and lean into it. And I'm so grateful. I'm so, so grateful because it's what I would be wasted otherwise. Be just sitting there wasted, just suffering for suffering. Say no. Let's let's share that.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:55:28) - And. Had a way for people to turn theirs outward into something beautiful.


Kimberly Spencer (00:55:34) - If you were to stand on the soapbox and declare. With open arms, open voice, even under threat of death or distress or arrested being arrested, what would it be that you would be declaring to the world that you would be communicating?


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:55:54) - Abundance is created. Through conscious curation of. Connection, your energy, the frequency of that connection and making the choice. And when you do that, you can create an abundant outcome. That's it. Super simple.


Kimberly Spencer (00:56:17) - Super simple.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:56:18) - Yeah. Really.


Kimberly Spencer (00:56:21) - It's. I haven't seen a disproving either.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:56:25) - Let's let's write down. I know I like what it was. It was gifted to me. I to be honest, it was collaboration. We you know, it was just all these forces. This is Rebels in Action two, by the way. But it was, you know, it was all these forces all at once. And sitting in that quantum computing session, you're in with me.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:56:45) - And I sat right at the front and dumped it, and I just downloaded it like, oh, we're, we're we're in the quantum network. Oh my God. And it just went. And I said, right, I need a way to explain this to my neurodivergent husband who does not understand this at a like a feeling level. How am I going to explain feeling to him and my neurodivergent son, who probably needed my help with this? And from this theory, I have since developed so many other things that help me to communicate love with my son to the point where we were living with this last little example, right? Because it's beautiful. It's cooking. It's sweet. I was trying to help Remus, who can't look you in the eye. He really struggles with that because of what he how his brain is wired and so he can't emote well. He would look off in, you know, different directions and and struggle. And I said to him, Rhys, I know you've got a kind heart.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:57:44) - Do you know him? It's a really kind thing to look at people in the eye when when you're talking to them, it shows them that you care about them. And I did that and I was like, do you want to practice? And it was uncomfortable for him. And and I know this is not you know, I'm not teaching this to for everyone to go and implement. But, uh, I can tell you right now, my son, I'm so proud of him, but he looks at you in the eye and and he will do it deliberately to show you that he loves you. And I'm like that, if nothing more. That theory it was helped me create that for him. And I'm and that will help him in his life so much. And that is everything. That's everything.


Kimberly Spencer (00:58:31) - Sarah, I just love your heart. I love your humility. I love the extraordinary abundance that is your presence. And it has been such an honor to have you on the podcast and to have you here, where, of course.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:58:46) - I love you. I love you right back.


Kimberly Spencer (00:58:50) - Where can we find you? How can we continue to share and spread the love? Yes.


Sarah "Sharky" Harkness (00:58:55) - Absolutely. Uh, so we've got two we've got abundance of Um, that's where you can find me. I'm Mama Sharky on Instagram, uh, Sharky CEO on LinkedIn and Twitter. And, uh, you can also find me if you are wanting to create abundance in your business at Project Lotus Info.


Kimberly Spencer (00:59:16) - As always, your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to.


Kimberly Spencer (00:59:35) - Support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown Yourself Now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode, and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.

The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far,  out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity and confidence, so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.


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