(#204) Breaking Free from Society's Paradigms: Unleash Your True Beliefs

crown yourself podcast Oct 16, 2023

 

Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)

In this episode of the Crown Yourself podcast, host Kimberly Spencer explores beliefs that she has never fully embraced or only briefly bought into before rejecting them. She encourages listeners to question their own beliefs and choose ones that align with their true selves. Kimberly discusses the belief that Mondays suck and shares her personal experience of intentionally creating positive Monday experiences. She emphasizes the power of intentionally choosing beliefs that serve us and shaping our experiences. Kimberly also discusses beliefs around sarcasm, jadedness, and viewing children as burdens, encouraging listeners to challenge societal beliefs and choose beliefs that align with their vision and values. She concludes by urging listeners to share the podcast and create a ripple effect of positivity and empowerment.

*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!

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We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.

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TRANSCRIPT

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Have you ever had beliefs that you just heard and they didn't land? This is what I love about when you start learning and understanding what is your plagiarized programming that you've adopted and accepted, there is an actual embodiment in and of an experience. It's like that kid's phrase, I am rubber and you are glue. Everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. That phrase is basically what this episode is about. It's about beliefs that I never have either fully bought into or maybe I bought into for a time. And then I was like, That's just bullshit. And we're going to dive into some of those that I've just never fully bought into, whether it's societal paradigms or different belief systems that were different from my family or whatnot. And I'm really excited to share some of these with you because maybe you've had these beliefs or maybe these beliefs. Like you're like, Oh yeah, hell yes. Queen Like, I've never even bought into that. That's, that's such bullshit. So I'm excited to champion you with your ability you can choose whatever belief that you want to believe and operate your life accordingly.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:01:09) - And I hope this episode inspires you to question those beliefs that aren't working for you because those beliefs, they're not you. They're your strategy. And I hope this episode gives you a deeper insight into new strategies, new mindsets, and new ways of thinking about whether it's society programming, what you've accepted so thus far, what's been working, and what's not been working. And basically what we determine is what's been working is do you have the results that you want. And if you don't have the results that you want, I'm going to share with you in this episode how to pivot that, how to look and model success and excellence. And I don't mean by like modeling me necessarily. I mean like go out there and find those models of not necessarily supermodels. They could be supermodels, but who have a life that you want to model, who have the results. Maybe it's the family, the career, the business, the job, or whatever it is that it is that you want to create. Get your evidence, get your proof.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:02:08) - And this is what that podcast is about. I am so excited to dive in. Let's dive into beliefs I have never chosen to ascribe to or just just to ascribe to for like a short period of time and then was like cancel culture. Nope. Done diving in in three, two, one. And yes, I will let you know this podcast is a little spicy, so prepare yourself. Strap in for full Enneagram eight mode. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself, and I'm a master mindset coach, best-selling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:03:16) - Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hello. Hello, my fellow sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. I am so honored and excited to be here with you on a Monday. At least it's Monday for me here recording this, and I know we typically drop these podcast episodes on Monday, so maybe you're listening to this on a Monday, but maybe it's a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday for you. And all are perfect and wonderful. And I am so grateful to be here with you because this podcast really spurred from an Instagram story that I was sharing that I was just going on a rant and I was like, you know what a rant, a proper, appropriate place should be in a podcast to a degree because I was ranting, but I was also sharing stories and I was like, I would really share this in a podcast. And it's just that the beliefs I never really ascribed to that on a subconscious level have never made sense to me whatsoever.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:04:27) - And when you think about plagiarize programming, right, plagiarize programming, it's a phrase I coined long ago that is the adoption of beliefs or experiences or perceptions of reality that are not yours that you're adopting as your own. Now, these plagiarized programming beliefs can come from society. They can come from your parents, they can come from your friends, they can come from mentors that you have followed. I have chosen to not ascribe to several beliefs from my mentors, regardless of how successful they are, because some I'm just like that just doesn't align with my soul. Like I will experiment. I will try it out, but not always does it align. And so for me, the big piece was looking at beliefs that I'm just like I have never chosen to buy into. Like on a subconscious level even at my worst, even at my absolute worst, where I felt most disconnected from so many things, from life, body, etcetera. I still had this belief that it just didn't resonate with my soul.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:05:44) - And so it was in that space that I said, okay, all right, I am choosing to go against the grain. I'm choosing to create my own mold. I think it's ridiculous that people have this belief or that society has this belief and it doesn't make sense to me and I don't want to buy into it. I just don't want it. And that's that's really when it comes down to beliefs and decisions, that's as simple as it is. It's a choice. I was having a conversation with one of my corporate clients on Saturday, and he was sharing with me about age and beliefs around age and how old you are and whatnot. And I was so proud of him because he was like, I don't have those beliefs. Like, I don't think that when you're 50, it's like you're over the hill or like you're just like, Oh, your life's behind you and it's now all downhill from there. I'm like, The hill keeps going. Like, go to your next Everest. Just because you're in a valley right now doesn't mean that there's one hill that you're going to climb for the rest of your life.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:06:52) - And so we really got looking at like, what are these beliefs that society has that we can ascribe to, choose to buy into? But really, on a soul level, we know they're not true. Like we know that's just some made-up bullshit that we're choosing not to buy into. And so first of all, first and foremost, the number one that I'm going to start with is that Mondays suck. Like the whole TGIF. Thank God it's Friday, so I can just blast myself and like be unconscious and do a whole bunch of things that I really want to do because Mondays suck. I'm like, What the heck? So I have gone out of my way to intentionally create Mondays that I absolutely love, that are creative, that are fun, and that start the week off in a way that I feel so aligned, so supported, so happy and so creative. And I mean, for me today, my Monday, it started off with just a really lovely shower, like a nice long shower.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:08:01) - And then I went into like really getting myself dressed up and I put on my makeup and I was like, I feel really I feel ready for the day. And it's probably because I had the absolute opposite yesterday. I just enjoyed being in pajamas all day on Sunday, and I really am making a conscious effort. Like I shifted it up for Mondays and I've also really made a. Conscious effort on Sundays to just unplug completely because I was experiencing burnout and I was like, No, Sunday, Sundays are for me and I am being absolutely so ridiculously protective of my boundaries and my time so that I can be of the best. Effort that I can be the best bet, best future self, and best self for my kids, for myself, or my husband. For my team, for my clients. Like your energy is fucking sacred. And so I set Monday's up a long time ago to be really intentional, creative fun. I don't blast into the week. I do not like rolling in all exhausted and like hitting it hard on Mondays.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:09:08) - Tuesdays are actually a much more action-oriented day. Mondays are from a place of alignment. Just slow and flow and being in that space. And it's partly because I've started aligning. I started about two years ago. I started aligning my days of how I structure my days to the astrological name of the day. And that's really helped us be in alignment with the relationships because we have relationships with everything, including the planets. Monday stands for the moon, and the moon is a lot more flow. It's the unconscious energy. And so allowing my unconsciousness to kind of guide and feel that in the boundaries of the flow and feel safe to flow has been phenomenal. And Tuesdays are very action-oriented. It's Mars Day. If you speak French or Spanish, it's monthly and I totally butchered my French, so don't completely judge me for my pronunciation. It's been a hot minute since I've spoken French. But. Marty. Marty.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:10:14) - Marty. Marty?

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:10:18) - Yes. Like, please, if you speak French, like, tutor me because I'm working on it.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:10:26) - The. And I am fully willing to accept that I am not perfect and have room to grow in my language. That is one. But it stands for Mars. Mars Day. Mars is a planet of action. Mars is a planet of getting shit done. And so since I have dedicated Tuesdays to being in that action orientation, that is the day that I am. I am contacting people, I am reaching out. I am connecting on a whole new level. I'm producing content. We are it is a very different energy than Monday. But why out of the seven precious days of this week, one of the days, do you choose to be miserable? Because ultimately it's a choice. Consciously or unconsciously, it is a choice. And so if you're rolling in with an attitude of like, Oh, it's Monday, you are choosing and setting the intention for Monday to suck. And I just disagree with that. I just am like, is that effective? Is that working? Because for me, I just choose not to live miserably.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:11:27) - And if something is making me miserable, I know that it is within my power of sovereignty to be able to shift that and change that, because that's a belief. It ultimately comes down to a belief. So I have never bought into that belief that Monday should suck. I've actually always loved Mondays and I've worked since I was 19 years old and I've had businesses since I was 19 years old. And the only time I actually really didn't like Mondays was when I was in my e-commerce business. And that was toward the end when things were getting a little spicy between me and my business partner because Mondays were challenging, I had to set some pretty strong time boundaries around my Sundays and Mondays would be like a deluge, and that experience allowed me to. Fortunately, like a few months later, I was in negotiations for a buyout. But that experience really allowed me to recognize where my boundaries were being crossed where I wasn't holding my boundaries and where Mondays I was choosing to buy into a belief that I didn't really believe.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:12:21) - And so having tested and experimented with that belief or a hot minute, like as in like the span of a couple of months about a decade ago, recognized not for me choosing not to have it. And now I make Mondays magnificent like, oh my gosh, our team meeting is for us. For me, because my team is international. My team meeting at 8:00 on Monday mornings just lights me up. I love seeing their faces. It was so beautiful today. We just had like a moment, all of us. Like we cried together and we felt each other's presence and just the love and support. And it was. It was phenomenal. It was phenomenal. And that is something that it's it's where you got to realize, like. I set that up intentionally. I love it. I love being in a leadership position at 8:00 on Monday morning. So that's one belief. Another belief is around jadedness that it's like. As you grow, as you get older, or as you age, suddenly there's like a depreciation of enthusiasm for your life and for your career.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:13:26) - And I know some generations I'm talking to you. Gen Xers more than others, tend to have a little bit more jadedness. It's kind of built into how they were wired as a generation. I am married to a Gen Xer, so I can freely say that, and my Gen Xer husband has worked so hard on rewiring the jadedness that kind of was a part of the generation that he grew up with. And so the jadedness, I really recognize this. When I was about 16 years old, I won a screenwriting competition where I got to be mentored by professional screenwriters because back then I wanted to go to work in Hollywood and I was so excited. I was going into our first meeting and I was going to be matched with my mentor, I wore my little Diane von Furstenberg dress like a wrap dress because when I was 16, I dressed like I was 30 and I was already very fashionable. It's just a little ridiculous. But that's why everyone thought I was older than I was.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:14:31) - And finally, when I was 32, I was like, Oh, I feel like I'm actually my age. But I walked into this meeting and there was a table full of donuts on the side. And back at least 20 years ago when I was starting out in screenwriting, like donuts were a thing in the writer's room. So there was a gentleman who was standing next to the donut table, and he was a larger gentleman. And I walked up to him and just pictured Elwood walking into Harvard like I was so excited. The smile on my face, I was like, felt like I was aligned. I was on purpose. I was like, I am in my place. I am actually receiving recognition for my talent as a writer. Like, Oh my gosh, I felt so on point. I was like, Yes, this is this is alignment. I'm 16 and I've made it. And it was like it made it to a degree of like made it to the first few steps. And I felt so powerful and so empowered.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:15:24) - And I walk up, I was like, Hi, I'm Kim. And he was like, Hi. And I said I'm just so excited to be here. Like, we're making movies. We are going to be creating some beautiful things. Like, I am literally as enthusiastic then as I am naturally like now. And that's just what happens when you're living on purpose. And he looked at me and he goes, Yeah, that'll wear off. And I was like, I was shocked. I was like, What? And he goes, Yeah, I get a few rejection letters or 30 and that'll wear off. And I was like, I'm sorry. Like, what do you mean? Like, it just did not compute. And he said, Yeah. He goes, You know, your enthusiasm is cute. Definitely shows your grain because this industry is brutal. And I was like, okay. And now I work with a lot of clients and entertainment, and a lot of them actually have adopted that perception that it's just brutal.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:16:31) - And I'm like, I have never abided by nor thought that my career where you will spend 60 to 70% of your life needs to be full of suffering. I have never thought that. Ever, ever. And so I thought and I said, Well, I said, excuse me, but I feel like if I ever felt that way that I would change careers or I would change what I was doing or I would change how I'm doing what I'm doing because I personally am very excited to create stories and to tell stories that actually create change. And this is like 16-year-old me challenging like a 40, 50-year-old man already that Enneagram eight was like etched in my bones. And he looked at me and he was just kind of like, okay. And it honestly, here's the thing about how, you know, when a belief actually affects you. It's kind of like that statement when you're a kid. I am rubber, you are glue. Everything bounces off of me and sticks to you.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:17:36) - And for certain things like back then around my body, I certainly like I would have those beliefs would have stuck. Like if he had said anything insulting about my body or anything like that, that would have stuck, that would have hit, that would have landed. But beliefs that just around career at that time, they didn't land. They just don't like, they bounce off and you're like it's like it's like you have an armor of belief of certain beliefs that you have cultivated that are. Preventing anything from penetrating it, anything that is like an insidious belief that does not serve you, especially if it's one that you're like that does not align. And that's why understanding, knowing, questioning what your beliefs are, and doing this deep inner work that you're doing week after week, I honor it because what you're doing is you're strengthening your armor as a warrior for possibility. Because if you have cultivated a deep-seated belief like I can figure anything out and you deeply believe that. I mean, I had one client that I was coaching, a very successful entrepreneur, and he was from Australia and I tried to poke as many holes in that belief as possible.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:18:49) - I tried to challenge it because I wanted to see if that belief was impenetrable, and I did that intentionally as his coach. And the more, I tried to poke holes in it, tried look at my language, the more resilient he became and steadfast in that belief. He was like, I honestly believe to my core that I can figure anything out with just enough time. That I can figure anything out. And I said, like, I tried. And I said, Great. I said I wanted to challenge you on that. Believe. I challenged him for like ten minutes in that space just to see how unshakeable and completely bulletproof that belief was for him. And he was he thanked me later. He's like, I'm really grateful that you did that because he's like, I knew it was strong. I just didn't know. I didn't know it was that strong. And I said, Great. And that's what happens when you have when somebody gives you a belief that you're just like, that's ridiculous.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:19:46) - It's just like, it's so ridiculous. It's so no longer an alignment or never was in alignment with your soul, that your your armor just is like, yeah, that's just going to bounce right off because that's ridiculous. I remember my father. He was occasionally a bit chauvinistic, and demeaning toward women, and thought that was the way that a quote-unquote man was supposed to be, even though that's not really what he believed. And there are some times when you can hear somebody saying something that you're like you're just copying someone else's words like those. I know you don't actually believe those. And he was in a very he was in he was in a place one night where he was probably drunk. And I was sitting at the table with him and my mom and he started to say some bullshit about like, women and my mom, like in the past when I was younger, that used to hit me and it used to I used to feel put down and I used to feel like less than. And my mom and I just ended up looking at each other like, that's the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:20:53) - And it was for me, that moment was a moment of such progress because I was like, Oh, my armor's been built like I know my worth and my value as a woman. And it has. Like what you're spouting is just bouncing off of me and it's just a reflection of, of what you've been taught and programmed to believe that even you don't really fully believe. And we questioned him on it and he was like, Wow, I'm sorry. That was like, really? That he actually had like a quite sobering moment where he was like, oh, he's like, you're right. I don't know why I'm saying that. And I said, Yeah. And he actually took that moment to heart because my mom and I just looked at each other like, That's ridiculous. So you'll know when beliefs don't actually stick. And the belief of that, like, jaded ness comes with your career as you just move over time. I'm like, I have never ascribed to that. It's probably why I've switched careers many times because I'm just like I choose to not.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:21:53) - I choose to always be in a place of curiosity, exploration, enthusiasm, and challenging myself. And if a belief like I just choose not to be miserable, so jaded. This is, like I say in my book, like when around sarcasm and jaded sarcasm actually comes. I think it's from Greece. I have to go back and read my book to make sure it actually comes from the Greek word. That means cutting the flesh. So sarcasm jadis. When you're giving self-depreciation, self-deprecating comments, you are actually cutting yourself. Unconsciously you're cutting the fabric of your own confidence. And I have just never believed in that type of self-mutilation period. Like, no, thank you. So I believe that you can choose. To find a new way to get curious. If it's not changing what you do, it can be changing how you do it. Maybe it just means you need to disrupt the industry and do something radically different, and that's that. The third belief that I stopped describing to or really never, ever did ascribe to was that children are this burden.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:23:12) - Now, let me pre-frame this and say that I don't believe that parents intentionally think that their kids are a burden. I think most parents go into having children with open loving hearts with the desire to be the best. And this is absolutely no judgment. We are all moving into parenting, building businesses, building lives with the resources that we have, and we are all doing our best with the resources that we have. That being said, there is a societal belief that I have seen come up from time to time, and it's very insidious because it doesn't come up as looking like children are a burden, but it comes up and it manifests in many ways where it looks like, oh, children are an inconvenience, like you'll see it on a plane when a kid is screaming. And yes, nobody nobody really thoroughly enjoys that, but especially not the parents. And sometimes the parents can feel embarrassed. And I've heard of parents just receiving the nastiest comments and things from other people on the plane, Like why don't you just discipline your child or just, you know, and I'm like, that parent, I guarantee you, is doing the best that they can.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:24:32) - And having been on a plane with a screaming child like that was mine and doing the best I could to ensure that, you know, for the convenience of everybody else, that my child was calm, calm like you're the parent is doing the best that they can, but societally and then reflected back, it can be perceived that that's just inconvenient. And so I think whether you have kids or not. Recognizing that this children are our future. They are literally the next generation. They are going to be inheriting what we build as a society together. So if you are projecting onto children, whether they are yours or someone else's, that they are an inconvenience, that they're inconveniencing your time. What does that say to their unconscious minds or precious, malleable, unconscious minds? So there can be the perception also with parents of that inconvenience factor. And yes, this is one that I, from time to time have had to look at where I'm like, oh my gosh, my armor was not yet strong enough.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:25:54) - I did perceive him in that way because he interrupted me or they did something that got me distracted and then I got off track and whatnot. But that is where we get the work in to strengthen our armor around the beliefs that we want to show and demonstrate for our kids. If we want to show the next generation that they are precious, that they are loved, that their voice is valuable, and that their needs are as necessary to be met as your own. Then they cannot feel like that. They are just this inconvenience that's there for when you want them and they work around your schedule. This is where radical ownership comes into place, where we look at children. Whether you have them or not. If you are on a plane for some reason, like let's go full-on spiritual here for a hot second, you are put on a plane with somebody else's child who is a screaming hot mess. If everything happens for you, then that is a moment where you get to work and do the deep inner work on yourself.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:27:10) - And yes, sometimes the work shows up and it's inconvenient at times that we thought we had expectations of doing something else. I remember when I was first married to Spike and like our few years without children, like going on a plane was like, that was work time. That was I got to be strapped in for 3 to 5 hours or 16 hours if you're flying to Australia. I got to I got to get some shit done. I was excited. But then that first flight to Australia with Declan when he was one year old. Oh my God, that kid nursed for 16 hours. He was sitting on my lap and I was scrunched, scrunched in between my husband and a very, very large, lovely, kind Samoan man. But he was quite large. And so I was in this tiny space with a baby on my boob flying coach. And the baby did not. Did not let up as he nursed for 16 hours straight. Just suck, wouldn't take a pacifier. Wouldn't take anything else.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:28:17) - Like the only thing that would keep him calm and not screaming was my boobies. That was a lot. That was an inconvenience. And that was also a great lesson for me in surrendering and surrendering my expectations. That was the spiritual work I had to do at that moment. Because we experience the perception of inconvenience when something goes against what our expectations are of that moment. Taking a break from your business to go do something that makes you that brings you joy, is inconvenient, and yet it can bring you so much joy. It can be inconvenient to productivity, but it can bring you so much more joy in the long run. So momentary egoic inconveniences are where we actually get the real work because in an inconvenience or in a perception that something else is a burden, that means that there is an expectation that is unmet or an expectation that we thought we had to fulfill. Where the life, the universe God sourced the divine is saying no in this moment, this is what you're going to be focusing on.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:29:34) - This is your mountain to climb, not what you thought it was going to be, not what you expected it to be. This is your moment. This is the mountain that you're going to climb at this moment. And that is where the great work gets to happen. So I challenge you to look at any sort of plagiarized programming, any belief that you see societally accepted or that you maybe have had, that you're like, Oh my gosh, I didn't even realize I had that until this moment. Look at it, challenge it, and surrender. And that is how you can start strengthening your armor, your own belief armor for the beliefs that you do want to cherish. When you look at something like the third belief that I just stopped ascribing to, which was that children are a burden like that one takes as a parent like I had to take such epic personal responsibility that one takes such epic personal responsibility because for example, using that plane flight as an example, I had to first take responsibility. Like I am the one who chose to take my child, my one-year-old, to Australia.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:30:50) - I made that choice. That was part of Spike in my vision was to travel the world with our family and we were that was the first time in 2018 that we were doing it. I was so excited and that challenge was like, Oh, there will be some challenges when it comes to traveling with a one-year-old like more than you expect and being able to say, okay, well then I need to surrender in this moment to be a mother. And like I also have to acknowledge, that I chose to have my child. You can dial that belief back to all of the choices, all of the choices. Like I chose to take my child to Australia. I made this choice. I chose to have my child. All of these are choices. And when you look at that space of absolute pure ownership of your choices. That's where you get to say, okay, what is the vision that I'm now leaning into? Like if you think that something is inconveniencing you, it's probably because it's setting you up to learn a lesson that's going to serve you in your greater vision.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:31:52) - So for me, I had to learn that lesson of surrender and patience, surrendering my expectations of working for 16 hours on a flight. And even though I kind of knew that I wasn't going to be, I knew that I was going to work. I thought that I was going to like, Oh, he'll go down for a nap and then I'll get I'll get to whip out my laptop and get some content creation done. No, that didn't happen. So I had to surrender. I was like, I guess I just need to relax and watch a few movies. And that's what I did. And being able to surrender in that moment of like, okay. That was a lesson for me in feeling into the flow of the present moment. That was a lesson for me in overworking, in working so much. That was a lesson to me. All lessons that I needed to take with me as I grew my business. I raised my children and grew my business, and we did it while traveling the world.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:32:50) - So allow yourself to question and also honor when you have those beliefs like my client had where he was just like, I don't ascribe to like, you're 51, 52, 53, 54, like, quote-unquote, middle age. And that is what, Oh, suddenly, like, all my dreams are done. No, no. He's like, I'm just getting started. I said, Great. So there are beliefs around age. There are beliefs around your week, there are beliefs around your career. There are beliefs about what society expects of you. Like I was telling my, um, my nephew, I said, like, you can go to college. As I said, it's not necessarily a prerequisite to success. It's not. And I am living proof and I am of the belief that when I see somebody embodying a belief that I like, a belief that could serve me. I think if they can, I can do it. And so how do we know, like, what are the beliefs that work for us and what are the beliefs that don't? Or like is this belief of age or jaded ness or that Mondays suck? Is that something that we should actually adopt for ourselves to fit in with society? Because not fitting in with society goes against the biological part of our brain.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:34:09) - That freaks us out because suddenly we're no longer part of this specific tribe and this flock, and now we're out in the open and risk getting killed by a saber-toothed tiger. Like that's that's where the mentality when you choose to go against a grain and do something different, that's where your biology is literally fighting that. So how do we know? Well, I always look at the people's lives that are of these belief systems. And I look at do they have a life that I would like to model. Do they have results that I would like to have? Do they have an experience from the day-to-day to their grand experiences of life that I would like to experience as well? And I asked myself very clearly those questions. And just like that man by the donut station in the writer's room, I saw many things that I said no. Like, I am choosing to reinforce my boundaries and my beliefs that I don't believe that you need to be a jaded, sarcastic human to thrive in an industry.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:35:15) - Like I just don't believe that because I didn't see that exemplified. So look at who when you experience somebody saying something that that you perceive could be a limiting belief, but also you're like, should that belief actually be mine? Like, should I actually have that belief to fit into society? Look at is this a society that I actually want to fit into? Like not everybody has the belief like what we have, the what we're creating here in Texas, that they need to grow their own food and have a fully sustainable property. Not everybody has that belief. Some people live in big cities. I lived in a big city. I lived in many big cities, like on the Gold Coast of Australia. We had a fabulous high-rise living apartment by the beach. Like a great walk downstairs, three minutes, grocery store, get anything you want. But we knew that we wanted to do life differently. We wanted to have sustainability. We wanted to know that just in case anything happened in this world, whether it's with finances or anything, we would know how to feed our family.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:36:23) - You can't feed yourself with money, with cash, you don't eat cash. Money pays for things. So we knew that we wanted to have a way of feeding our family, of supporting and protecting our family with having some amenities like a fully functioning garden and being on a well and not having to use anybody else's water. Like we have our own water that we source from the earth. We knew that we wanted that lifestyle. Now, not everybody does, and that's okay. But I look at that person does that person have results that I want to model? If that person has results that I want to model, I will model that. That's the basis of NLP. It's modeling excellence. If that person doesn't have the results, if that person doesn't have the joy, doesn't have the family, doesn't have the relationships, doesn't have the money, doesn't have the kids that you want to model, then maybe look to somebody else to model, find a different flock. And train your subconscious mind that that's normal.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:37:33) - For example, I was working with a client who really wanted a dog and she wanted a dog, but she's like, I don't know how I'm going to travel with a dog. And I said, How many people on social media are you following who travel extensively and have pets? And she was like, I don't think anyone. And I said, You're not surrounding yourself with people where that's normal. Because a lot of people like when we moved to a ten-acre plot of land, like from California and then previously from the Gold Coast where we had no land, most people were like, That's crazy. That's bananas. It's too much. It's all the all the beliefs. But we looked at who are the people who have sustainable regenerative farming. Where we could model that? You look to the people who you can model so that you can say if she can or if he can, I can look at their results. Are those results results that you want to have? The results are not just like financial results business results or family results.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:38:40) - They can be the result of just, you know, simply having joy. Like do they have joy in their life? Do they have love, deep love, and passion for what they're doing? I have coached so many people who make far more money than I have yet to this point. And yet most people come to me to work with me as their coach for guidance, to create more sparkle, joy, and fulfillment in their lives. More transformation to their business is no longer a burden, but actually setting them up for success, more transformation. So they actually feel confident in getting their voice out there and getting their voice heard and removing all these bullshit blockages and limiting beliefs that you can't say what you want to say fully be you, fully be authentic. Most people come to me for that and that's that's what I model. What are you modeling in your business or in your life? That is a natural attractor for the people who need exactly who you are to be in their life.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:39:43) - So I hope.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:39:44) - This podcast served you.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:39:46) - If it did, if you know somebody who's maybe struggling with a Monday suck or jaded belief or looking at some of these other limiting beliefs that we talked about, then please share this with them. Maybe just by you stepping into a place of leadership, sharing a podcast that was a value for you. You can guide one more person to not hate Mondays and to actually bring more joy and fulfillment into their week. I thank you in advance for sharing this with just one person That means so much to me. As always, my fellow sovereigns. Own your throne. Mind your business because your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you. Be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown Yourself. Now for more inspiration.

 

Kimberly Spencer (00:40:48) - I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode, and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.





The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far,  out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity and confidence, so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.

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